Happy Mother’s Day! We have at least one reason to celebrate Mother’s Day— you wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for your mother! I cannot tell you how many times mom has reminded us kids what it was like to carry each of us kids nine long months, how inconvenient it was to rush to the hospital during ice storms (etc.), or how physically agonizing it was to give birth. I don’t know about you, but I don’t know whether to apologize or say thank you! Maybe both?
Actually, there is a lot more to Mother’s Day than celebrating our physical entrance into this world—that’s what birthdays are for! A few weeks ago, a mother posted a status update that really struck me. Unable to have biological children of her own, this adoptive mother wrote, “No, I didn’t endure 9 months of labor; I’ve endured eighteen years of labor raising a child!”
Sometimes the person who “carried you” into this world is different from the person who “raised you” in this world. But her point is that the initial nine months of labor doesn’t even begin to compare to the life-long responsibility of parenting!
When I was preparing this sermon series on Romans, I knew I wanted to spend a whole week on two special verses. The first verse was Romans 12:1 which says, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.” But the second verse is Romans 12:2, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Can you imagine a verse more relevant to parenthood than Romans 12:2? It’s a miraculous, awe-inspiring thing, for a child to be born into this world. But for whatever it takes for a child to be formed in a womb, how much more is involved for a child to be transformed beyond the womb?
There are two aspects to the formation of a child. First, there is this protective role of ensuring a child doesn’t “conform to the pattern of this world.” For reference, Romans 1:18-32 is the parent’s nightmare… it shows how powerfully, and completely the world can swallow up, and destroy a child’s soul. The world corrupts faith, corrupts worships, corrupts sexuality, corrupts character, corrupts influence. The world is like quick sand. Once the world takes hold of a child’s soul, the more a child resists, the harder the world pulls, and the deeper a child gets sucked, into this world.
For all the joys, parenting can also be a terrifying thing. In Romans 1:18-32, we see how because of the hardness of our hearts, God has no recourse but to “give us over” to the desire of our hearts. How hard it is for a parent, how hard it must be for God, to see his children get swallowed up. We’re better off not letting the world get a foothold in the first place! As a parent, you have a protective role.
But then there’s a second aspect to parenting. You have the constructive role of helping your “be transformed by the renewing of their mind…” of helping them “test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will.” The reality is that you cannot protect your child from every kind of evil. They need to understand not just who Jesus is, but how the gospel is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes. They have to understand the power of grace. They have to understand the way of life and peace. They have to understand how to walk in the presence and power of the Holy Spirit. They have to understand how to offer their bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God. They have to see their whole life in view of God’s mercy, so they have confidence to do life “with” God instead of “running” from God!
This language of not being conformed and of being transformed, is echoed throughout Paul’s writings. Over in Galatians 4:19 Paul says, “My dear Galatians! My dear children. . . I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you.” In Galatians 4:20 Paul says, “…I’m perplexed about you!”
Now as a pastor, I was trained NOT to say, “I know how you feel… I know exactly what you’re going through!” So for example, when a mother is in the pains of childbirth. . . first of all, I’m never in the room! That would be awkward, “Oh, hello Pastor, let’s pray.” But even if I were, I would definitely not say, “Wow, I know exactly what you’re going through!” {Men have been known to say such stupid things, and none of them lived to talk about it!} But then there is the Apostle Paul… “Discipleship is exactly like having a baby!” I’ll take it on Apostolic authority that helping someone “be formed in Christ” is equivalent to being in the pains of childbirth!
I asked my mom to describe what it was like to give birth to each of us four kids. She said, “All you kids were born at Riverside Hospital. Your baby book has the details. Chris was born within one hour after I left the Doctor’s office. We lived in Bourbonnais. Since it was my first baby, I thought the labor pains were supposed to get closer together. I called the Doctor and he said to stop in. He saw me at 2 pm and said do NOT go home for anything. I will meet you at ER. I had Chris at 2:30pm. That was close!”
“Mike was born in an ice storm. Dad had to drive from work at Kankakee all the way to Martinton to get me and Chris. Then we all had to drive back to Kankakee to ER. We couldn’t see road or through the windshield. We stopped in St. Anne and had the police escort us. Mike was born 20 minutes after we arrived. I almost had him in elevator.”
“Jon you were born when we lived in Chebanse. We had just moved in. I made a pie and then it was time to get over to ER. No bad roads, no back pains, Grandma Morrissette watched Chris and Mike. You were very polite and organized… waiting for me to finish the pie for Dad before you came. [Mom is known to embellish the truth]”
“Deanna was over due. Dad had decided to go get pizza and took us for ride over a bumpy railroad crossing. It worked. After we got home, and ate Pizza, my labor pain started. Dad’s sister Diane came over to watch the kids. I had Deanna within a short time after we got to hospital. Dad told all the pregnant ladies after that to just go for a ride over a bumpy railroad, and don’t forget to eat pizza!”
Mom only laughs, and is filled with joy, whenever she talks about how all us kids were born. But I’ll tell you what distresses her more than anything else. I’ll tell you what perplexes her spirit. I’ll tell you what the greatest source of pain and agony has been in her life, second to nothing else…. It’s that Christ might be formed in all her kids, and grandkids! I think the Apostle Paul was right to say, “My dear Galatians! My dear children. . . I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you.”
There is the first birth… but then there is what the Bible calls the second birth. The first birth is physical, there is a breaking of water, and out comes a child to takes its first breath. But then there is the second birth, what Jesus referred to as “being born again…” “being born of water and Spirit.” The sign of this new life is water baptism. In baptism that person repents and believes, they receive the breath of God (the Holy Spirit), and then learn to walk in the Spirit, offering themselves to God has instruments of righteousness. A mother is first concerned with whether her child will live. But a mother’s very next concern is whether her child will inherit eternal life. Both are agonizing, but for different reasons.
Romans 12:2 provides some vital insights into how a person becomes formed in Christ. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
First, we are formed through the SPIRIT. It isn’t incidental that Paul commands us “be transformed.” The Bible never says is to “transforms yourself, just try harder, behave better…” Now it isn’t that you can’t transform yourself, or try harder, or behave better. There are as many pastors/counselors as there are secular people peddling a self-help gospel. These people are popular because yes, you can live a smarter, healthier, richer life or whatever, you can transform yourself in some ways.
But to the point… in Galatians 3:3 Paul says, “Dear Galatians… how foolish can you be? After starting your Christian lives in the Spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort?” Yes, you can better yourself through direct effort. You can even become better than others through direct effort. But you can never as Ephesians 3:19 says, “be filled to the measure of all the fullness of Christ.” This requires presence/power of God’s Holy Spirit. It’s one thing to try to control behavior… its quite another to live under control of the Holy Spirit.
Second, we are formed through our WORSHIP. Specifically, Paul says we are transformed “through the renewing of the mind.” Think of worship as the person or thing that most occupies your attention, your imagination, or your mind.
At the end of Romans 11, Paul sings a doxology, a hymn, “Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! “Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?” “Who has ever given to God, that God should repay them?” For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.” Where is Paul telling us to focus our attention, imagination, and mind?
In Romans 12:1, how does Paul begin the chapter? He says, “In view of God’s mercy offers yourselves as living sacrifices. . .” We cannot get the cart before the horse on this one. We will never get our behavior right until we first get our focus right. We will never be transformed until Christ first occupies the center of our imagination.
The worship you do on Sunday ought to be a pattern for how you worship all week long! Worship ought to be a pattern for parenting. In worship, we gather. We sing of the riches of God’s wisdom, knowledge, and grace. We seek the very mind of Christ. We invite God to convict us, teach us, rebuke us, to be our counselor. During communion, we’re captivated by Christ’s love, his broken body, his shed blood, mercy.
One of the best pictures of worship is Colossians 3:1-3, “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” This is worship! In Colossians 3:10 Paul says not only are we, “being renewed in knowledge in the image of our Creator. . .” but we’re “putting on a whole new self.”
Now look again at Romans 12:2. If you allow Christ to become the focus of your attention and imagination, what is the result? First, he says “be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” Second he says, “You will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” In Colossians 3, first you set your heart and mind on things above… and then secondly what is the result? Then can you “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed…” You “rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips, not lie to each other.”
It is counter-intuitive I know… but God invites us to “be” transformed, not to change ourselves. And to change us, he invites us to worship, to behold the Christ!
Let me end with some practical help. There were definitely times my parents got frustrated with me, and tried to control my behavior. A bar of soap in the mouth, a swat in the seat of the pants, being grounded, extra chores… went a long way to tempering my rebellious spirit. But the greatest thing my parents ever did was giving me a different focal point. Our family got excited about a lot of things… but they never allowed anything to overshadow Christ.
Toward the end of Colossians 3, Paul says, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts. . . Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.”
My parents were careful to expose us to Spirit-filled people. If a missionary was in town, they would stay at our house. If the church needed a place to meet, or youth group, it would be our living room. Recently I had lunch with Gene Appel, a nationally known pastor leading a church over 8000 in California, upcoming president of North American Christian Convention. He was in town and he offered to buy dinner for a few of us local pastors. As I began to introduce myself he said, “I know who you are… your parents always had me stay at your house when I first began preaching!”
Relationships matter. The people you spend time with, the people your kids spend time with, create a definite focal point. The people you know do one of two things… either they induce to “be conformed to the pattern of this world…” or they “test and approve God’s will—his good, pleasing, and perfect will!” But relationships aren’t neutral… and you should recognize the influence people have on you, and on your kids! BTW, there is no greater relational influence than a mother/father. This Mother’s Day we celebrate that influence just as we desperately encourage it!
What does it mean to be “in the pains of childbirth for Christ to be formed in you?” Parents, it means continually giving your attention, your imagination, your mind, your focus, your worship over to Christ. It means continually bringing Christ into the middle of your marriage, your family, your relationships. And not just parents… church!