Last week I began my message on forgiveness by describing some people I saw on vacation. There was the mother in a long, flowing black robe, walking several feet behind her husband and children. Her face and head were completely covered with a black veil. She had nothing more than a small slit through which she could see the world. Then there was the group of young men wearing large white turbans, walking down the sidewalk, laughing and carrying on. They were speaking Arabic, or another dialect. They paused and looked my way, our eyes momentarily locking. And there was also the rather nervous Middle Eastern man strolling through the mall carrying a large backpack.
We talked about how September 11th has changed everything. In light of September 11th, it is especially difficult for us to think about forgiveness and reconciliation. Yet God commands us to forgive as we have been forgiven. We are to forgive in the hope that our enemies' hearts might be melted and that they might be moved to repentance.
We have a great deal of difficulty accepting one another.
Well, this morning I want to talk about something equally as difficult as forgiveness. We have as much, if not more, difficulty accepting one another as we do forgiving one another. It is one thing to forgive someone. It is one thing to cancel a person’s debt, to stop being angry and resentful, to set aside hate, to excuse a wrong which has been suffered, or to lay aside a hurt. But you can forgive a person while continuing to hold them at arm’s length. You can forgive a person without ever letting him get near you again.
Acceptance seems to imply something altogether different. Acceptance suggests that I let a person into my personal space, that I allow them to become part of my social network, that I associate with them, that I open my life to them, that I open my home to them, and that we share together in community and fellowship. There are some people we’d justas soon forgive and forget. We'd rather write them off. There are some people we'd just as soon give the assurance of God’s forgiveness, but to have nothing further to do with them from that point forward. For all our talk about forgiveness, it is acceptance that poses the greatest challenge to us. There is this lag time between being forgiven by God and for us to start forgiving others. There is an even greater lag time between being accepted by God and then beginning to accept others.
When I was a freshman I remember sitting in a classroom up at Lincoln Christian College one evening. I was beginning to sense God’s call on my life to serve him in full-time ministry. My horizons were being greatly broadened. That night, a guest speaker had been invited to talk about ministering to sexually broken people. "No big deal," I thought. "The Church should be doing that." But that night there was a surprise twist. The speaker spoke at length about his ministry to gay and lesbian couples.
He introduced us to a man who had been in the church his whole life, but who had an adulterous affair with someone who was not his wife, but who was not a woman either. As a result, he destroyed his family and contracted the AIDS virus. The man’s health was failing, but he had been through a process of restoration. He confessed that he still struggled with temptation and desire. He felt powerless and terrifically vulnerable. His only lifeline was a few Christian men who regularly prayed with him and held him accountable for his choices and for his thought life. This broken man was learning to live fully under God’s grace. He was a Christian.
I remember thinking how great it was that he discovered God’s forgiveness. I praised God that he had found a church that accepted him deeply and was willing to help him grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. I wondered how many churches would even consider doing that. But I noticed that during the breaks and after class that no one bothered talking to the man with AIDS. No one thanked him for his heartfelt testimony or for his sincere faith. No one wished him well with his illness, with his marriage, or with his counseling. Furthermore, no one was talking to the guest speaker. This man had chosen to associate himself with sexually broken people; with the immoral and the ungodly. But it was as if a stigma was attached to him as well as to the speaker! Something didn’t seem right about the whole picture. They were both being shunned by all of us students. And so there I sat in the top back row of this classroom, observing this from a safe distance. I was struggling inside myself with what my response should be.
Should I go down there and say something to the guest speaker? If so, what should I say? Should I try to make conversation? Should I introduce myself? What would other students think if they saw me talking to these men during the break? Would they judge me? Would they make false assumptions? Should I shake hands with them? Should I touch the hand of the man with AIDS? Would I need to wash my hands afterwards? Would I be at risk of contracting a disease? Should I make eye contact? Should I make it a point to sit closer to the front of the room after the break in order to show my support? All of these questions and countless others were swirling throughmymind as I sat there in the back of the classroom in my safe place.
Finally, I got up the nerve to walk to the front of the classroom to thank them for sharing their testimony about God’s grace. As I extended my hand to say thanks, a student walked up behind me and pinched my backside. He proceeded to walk behind the guest speaker and the man with AIDS and well out of their view, began winking at me and blowing kisses. For the rest of the night and for days afterward, this student kept making homosexual gestures toward me. If I weren’t at Bible college, I probably would have punched him out.
It is difficult to accept people in a deep and significant way.
But you know, I learned a lot about myself that night, and about God’s family. All of us struggle with accepting one another. We struggle with accepting people who are different from us. It is one thing to assure people of God’s forgiveness and grace, but it is quite another thing to extend the right hand of fellowship and to accept people in a deep and significant way.
Since that time it seems that God is always putting people in my pathway who are pushing me out of my comfort zone. God seems to be challenging me to be accepting of other people. I wish I could say that I am an "A" student when it comes to accepting others. The truth is that this is an area of growth for me and for all of us. And right when we think we have mastered this area of discipleship, God finds a way to humble us!
Christ gave us the example of perfect acceptance.
I want us to consider a verse this morning. Romans 15:7 (NIV) says, "Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God." Praising God is about far more than words and song. It is about accepting others! One of the painful realities that exists within Christian circles is a lack of acceptance of each other.
In the New Testament there are all these admonitions against being haughty and proud, intolerant, conceited, bigoted, prejudiced, or showing favoritism. In our sinful nature our tendency is to think more highly of ourselves than we ought to. In our sinful nature our tendency is to associate with people of equal or higher position, and to avoid those of lower position or social standing.
In the arrogance of our sinful nature we often think that other people need God’s grace more than we do! That somehow we are above them and better than them. We look down on people because of their skin color, their economic position, their education, their dress, their appearance, their lack of accomplishment, their nationality, their citizenship, their religion, their age, their youth and inexperience, who they may or may not associate with, which part of town they live in, what level of need they have, their mental acuity, or their gender. Instead of accepting people into our fellowship, we cast certain people to the margins. On the basis of our personal standards, we judge them. We determine that they’re not part of our club or that they don’t fit in our circle.
Now, every Christian thinks he or she is accepting of others. But we don’t always behave that way. Our sinful nature holds sway over our actions or inaction. You don’t need to look any farther than this room to identity someone you have a hard time accepting. Who makes you the most uncomfortable? Who are you ashamed to associate with? Who do you avoid? Who do you never talk to? Who do you withdraw from? Whose hand have you never shaken? Who will you never invite into your home? Who do you herd your children away from? Who do you nervously glance at? Who will you never introduce yourself to? Who never gets your attention? Who do you sit away from on the other side of the sanctuary? Who will you never attend a Bible study with or pray with? With whom won’t you make eye contact? Who do you think you are better than?
Yes, yes, praise God that all of us are forgiven! But Lord, please don’t make us accept one another in a deep and fundamental way! Please don’t make us greet one another, wait for one another, be hospitable to one another, or love one another.
God wants things to be different among Christians.
God wants things to be different in his family. Romans 15:7 (NIV) says, "Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God."
Praise God that he doesn’t accept or reject us on the basis of our righteousness and ability to measure up to his standards. Thank him that he accepts us solely on the merits of his Son, Jesus Christ, who was obedient unto death. God wants the alien and stranger to be welcomed here. He wants the rich and the poor to be equally welcomed here. He wants the sexually broken and the outcast to be accepted here. He wants our unity in God’s grace to trump those things that might divide us. He wants us to be a family. He wants this to be a place where anyone can come and find healing. He wants this to be a place where no one is turned away. Few things bring greater praise to God than our willingness to accept people who don’t measure up to our personal standards. Are you bringing praise to God?
There is this passage of scripture in James 2 that gets to the heart of what it means in the context of God’s family to accept one another. James 2:1-26 (NIV) says, "My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don’t show favoritism. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, 'Here’s a good seat for you,' but say to the poor man, 'You stand there' or 'Sit on the floor by my feet,' have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? "
"Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? But you have insulted the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? Are they not the ones who are slandering the noble name of him to whom you belong? "
"If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, 'Love your neighbor as yourself,' you are doing right. But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. For he who said, 'Do not commit adultery,' also said, 'Do not murder.' If you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a lawbreaker. Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!"
"What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, 'Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,' but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, 'You have faith; I have deeds.' Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that— and shudder."
"You foolish man, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? Was not our ancestor Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says, 'Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,' and he was called God’s friend. You see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone."
"In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction? As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead."
Acceptance, and not just forgiveness, is a demonstration of our sincere faith in Christ. If God can make room for us in his family, why shouldn’t we make room for others? "Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God."
What does it mean to truly accept one another?
Let’s end this morning on a practical note. What does it mean to accept one another? I want you to identify someone you have trouble accepting. I want to thank Rick Schramm for putting this on our radar this morning. But who do you have trouble accepting? Maybe it is someone who is unkept in his appearance? Maybe it is someone who drives a beater, who wears worn clothes, or who lives on the other side of the tracks. Maybe it is someone who comes off as backward, not together mentally, or who doesn’t know how to relate to you in any other way except through her own need. Maybe it is someone who has a handicap, a physical deformity, a disease, or an illness. Maybe it is someone who is of a different race, or nationality, or religion. Or maybe it is a person who is struggling with a sin that you find repulsive.
Why not keep your eyes open this week and pray for God to show you someone he wants you to accept? Someone here, in your family, in your neighborhood, at work, at school, or in the community. Who needs to know the acceptance that you have found in Christ Jesus? And how can you cause him to praise the God who accepts you in Christ?
I want to tell you that there are a number of families from New Orleans staying at the Hampton Inn over behind the Meijer store. These families need transportation to the Salvation Army, to the laundry mat, or to the store. They need people to show them hospitality and to demonstrate God’s love to them. Perhaps you can help. If so, contact a gal named Leann at 899-4576 who is looking for people to help them. You can make a difference.
Perhaps you could take your family to the Inner City Mission, St. John’s Breadline, the Ronald McDonald House, or Lewis Memorial Christian Village. Perhaps you could volunteer with Interfaith Caregivers to help senior citizens in our community.
Let’s pray.