Have you ever heard the phrase, "Confession is good for the soul"? The way most people respond to those words is "Yeah, right!" and then, "You first!" Last week in our worship planning meeting we were discussing this idea of confession. One of our elders, Tom Frydenger, in his inquisitive, searching, probing, counselor's voice said to me, "Jon, I’ve noticed that the only sins you confess in the pulpit come from your childhood and high school years." My immediate reaction was, "Yeah,right.Me? Confess my sins publicly? To the whole congregation?" And then my very next thought was, "Tom, you first!"
The truth is that confessing sin is difficult for every single one of us, including me. It is safer for me to reveal sins from my past, things that are easily forgivable. It's much harder to confess the things I’ve done since becoming a Christian, or since becoming a preacher. It is easier for us to volunteer ambiguous confessions like, "I struggle" or "I’ve failed" and "I get tempted" than to risk talking specifically about what sins and how often.
Recently I came across a website called http://www.ConfessToJesus.com. The slogan for the website is, "Your discreet and convenient sin confession service." And that is precisely how we would prefer confession to be. Discreet and convenient, safe and anonymous, hush hush, risk-free, and benign. But could it be that the thing we most fear, confessing sin, could be the very thing needed to propel us into deeper fellowship with one another and with God?
What if people see me as weak and vulnerable?
One of our greatest fears is, "What if people see me in my weakness and vulnerability?" In my first ministry when I was just out of college, I remember working hard to appear strong. I was serving in a church that had a checkered history that spanned several decades. Deep dysfunction permeated the entire congregation. Not a Sunday went by without someone verbally lashing out in anger against another member of the church. It was teachers against leaders against preachers against new-berries against old-berries.
In a very short time, like in months, I was baptized into the conflict. Without getting into details, there was this volley of criticism that was launched at me week after week. Most of it was just completely out of bounds and totally unfair, but it was constant. I went from being this young, naïve, neutral, wet-behind-the-ears preacher boy to being this hardened, battle-weary soldier in the Lord’s army. I became deeply affected by the conflict. It was beginning to bring out a very dark side of my personality.
My response was to always put on my game face, to be strong, invincible, and a fortress. But then one Sunday I came to church, and right before Sunday school began I got nailed to the wall with some unfair, but stinging criticism. I was totally overwhelmed. As I went downstairs to teach my class, I literally began sobbing. Not just crying, but sobbing. In fact, I found myself sobbing uncontrollably in front of my entire class. No matter how hard I tried, I just sat there and was unable to regain my composure. It was so embarrassing. The whole time I kept thinking, "What will people think about me now that they’ve seen me like this? Will I even respect myself?"
I finally retreated to my house, where members of my class pursued me, praying for me. I honestly thought it would be the end of my ministry in that church. Of course, just the opposite became true. In that moment God’s strength was perfected in my weakness. I reached a turning point in my life and ministry. The revelation of my weakness in that moment unleashed a torrent of genuine love and support such as I’d never experienced in my entire life. It spurred tremendous growth in my life.
Suddenly I was real. I was human. I was a sinner. I needed God’s grace. I needed God’s strength. I needed people’s prayers. I needed encouragement. I needed forgiveness. I needed the church. I found myself surrounded by people I could talk with about my life, my sin, the pressures of ministry, and the dark side of my personality. I was no longer alone, suffering internally and dying a slow death.
We don't confess because we fear showing weakness or vulnerability.
Our problem is pride. Our greatest fear is showing any weakness or vulnerability. It is why we do not confess our sins to one another. We are afraid of what people might think. We're afraid of feeling diminished, of having some stigma or label associated with our names, or of people’s opinion about us being lowered. But what if we were to forget all of that for a few moments? Often it is our failure to confess our sin that keeps us from experiencing some of the greatest blessings of God’s mercy and grace. What if instead of covering our weakness and sin, we confessed it to God and to one another? How might God’s grace and strength be perfected in our lives if we did so?
For the record, even though I do not choose this forum for personal confession, I am a firm believer in the value of confession. I believe in the value of being known deeply by others. There’s a story about four preachers who met together for a monthly ministerial meeting. During their conversation one preacher said, "Our people come to us pouring out their hearts and confessing their sins. Let’s do the same. Confession is good for the soul."
In due time they all agreed. One preacher confessed he liked to go to the movies and would sneak off when he was away from his church. The second confessed that he liked smoking cigars. The third confessed that he liked playing cards. When it came to the fourth preacher, he wouldn’t confess! The others pressed him saying, "Come now, we confessed ours. What is your secret or vice?" Finally he answered, "It is gossiping, and I can hardly wait to get out of here!"
Confession should be to another believer who has the wisdom to provide counsel.
I don’t know that the indiscriminate, blanket confessions of sin to anyone and everyone are so good for the soul. Not everyone is mature enough to receive our confession. Most often I confess my sins to my wife, who loves me deeply and has a genuine interest in my growth. There isn’t any human being on the face of this earth with a more accurate picture of who I am than my own wife. Sometimes confession is to an elder in our church, a trusted friend, or a spiritual mentor or a counselor.
In every case confession is to a believer with the wisdom to provide counsel, the strength to offer encouragement, and the maturity to extend God’s grace and forgiveness. I think confession works best when done with people who are genuinely interested in lifting us up in prayer and holding us accountable. Confession isn’t for the voyeuristic pleasure of the whole body. It isn’t for the rumor mill and gossip vines. It is for our sanctification. Confession is you and I setting aside our pride by inviting people into our lives to disciple us through our sin and weaknesses into the full image of Jesus Christ. Who do you confess your sin to? Who do you take risks with? Who do you trust will always speak the truth in love to you? Who do you invite to pray over your life, to give you counsel, to give you encouragement, and to extend God’s grace to you?
One thing is certain. Confession in the right context is good for all our souls! It unleashes a deeper experience of God’s mercy and grace. It draws us deeper into fellowship with one another and with God. Consider what Proverbs 28:13 (NIV) says about value of confession. "He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy."
Confession means being honest about our sin.
A key to success in God’s eyes is confession. It is being honest about our sin. The Bible is full of examples of people who found mercy through confession. The conscience-stricken David found mercy as he prayed to God in Psalm 38:4-8 (NIV). "My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear. My wounds fester and are loathsome because of my sinful folly. I am bowed down and brought very low; all day long I go about mourning. My back is filled with searing pain; there is no health in my body. I am feeble and utterly crushed; I groan in anguish of heart."
King Saul found mercy as he confessed to the prophet Samuel, in 1 Samuel 15:24 (NIV). "I have sinned. I violated the LORD’s command and your instructions. I was afraid of the people and so I gave in to them. Now I beg you, forgive my sin and come back with me, so that I may worship the LORD."
Ezra found mercy when he prayed in Ezra 9:6 (NIV),"O my God, I am too ashamed and disgraced to lift up my face to you, my God, because our sins are higher than our heads and our guilt has reached to the heavens."
Nehemiah found mercy as he came before God in Nehemiah 1:5-7 (NIV)."O LORD, God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and obey his commands, let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night for your servants, the people of Israel. I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father’s house, have committed against you. We have acted very wickedly toward you. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and laws you gave your servant Moses."
Daniel found mercy praying to the Lord and confessing in Daniel 9:4-7 (NIV)."O Lord, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with all who love him and obey his commands, we have sinned and done wrong. We have been wicked and have rebelled; we have turned away from your commands and laws. We have not listened to your servants the prophets, who spoke in your name to our kings, our princes and our fathers, and to all the people of the land. Lord, you are righteous, but this day we are covered with shame— the men of Judah and people of Jerusalem and all Israel, both near and far, in all the countries where you have scattered us because of our unfaithfulness to you.'"
The apostle Paul found mercy in 1 Timothy 1:12-17 (NIV)."I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service. Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into this world to save sinners— of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen."
Repentance must follow confession.
But going back to Proverbs 28:13 (NIV) I want you to notice something. The verse says, "He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy." Notice that it isn’t honest confession alone that makes the difference. The words of the confession are never enough. Part of receiving God’s mercy is backing up our words with a deep, visceral hatred of sin. What makes the ultimate difference is the accompanying repentance and the renunciation of sin following our confession.
One of my favorite stories is that of a man who returned to his car in a parking lot only to find a note under his windshield wiper. The note read, "I just smashed into your car. The people who witnessed the collision are watching me. They probably think that I am writing down my name and address. I am not. They are wrong. Have a great day!" There was nothing more written on the note.
Honesty about sin means very little if it is not backed up with repentance! God is looking for heartfelt confession of sin accompanied by deeds. I wonder if this church, if our relationships with one another, can be a place where we can be as honest with one another about our sin as the men of old were about theirs? Where not just with words, but with the actions of repentance, we honor God.
As we come to our time of communion, there are several questions that I want you to reflect on. First, what sins stand between you and God this morning? Make a mental list of the two or three biggest sins standing between you and God. Why not take care of those sins right now? The Bible says in 1 John 1:9 (NIV)that, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." Have you discovered the forgiveness that is available in Christ?
Second, what recurring areas of sin and weakness stand between you and God? It is these recurring areas of sin and weakness that we most need to confess to one another. James 5:16 (NIV) says, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed…" Often, confessing our sins to one another, and not just to God alone, is the beginning of healing. God didn’t intend for us to live the Christian life alone. Who are one or two people you can confide in, who will pray for you, and support in your struggle against sin?
Last, why not let this be a time when you ask God to move you beyond words to deeds? When you ask God to move your heart to obedience in all these areas. Just now the worship team is going to come and sing a song. We want this song to be our meditation as our ushers prepare the communion.