One of the best-selling books, of all time, was written by Dale Carnegie in 1936. Carnegie noticed that in the business world people were grossly ineffective, not because they lacked opportunities, but lacked interpersonal and effective communication skills. So, what started off as a series of talks was soon became a book titled, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”
The book struck a chord. Among our deepest aspirations in life is to win friends (i.e. to be liked, to be loved) and to influence people (to make people and our world a better place)! But how? Since 1936, 30 million copies of his book have been translated and sold worldwide. His book spawned a business revolution that has ripple effects even today.
What is the lure of Social Media? To be “liked”, and influence others. It’s a universal, world-wide aspiration! Sadly, with the advent of Social Media, social anxieties have spiked. We're losing ability to cultivate true friendship and influence.
I read how people would rather text, email, or even “ghost” a person… than have a real life, face-to-face conversation! We're so anxious, and self-conscious. When younger people answer the phone, they don't speak. They don't say, “Hello, this is Jon.” No, you just hear them breathing! They’re waiting for you to talk, they don't know what to say! If they don't like what you’re saying they hang up!
Every expert seems to agree that social media is robbing us of effective interpersonal and communication skills! Now why does this matter? Yes, like anyone, we want to be liked and to be relevant. But as Christians we have an added concern. . . that we win friends and influence people for Jesus. So, what’s at stake? Not just interpersonal or business effectiveness. We're concerned for the Kingdom of God! The mission of Jesus requires us to relate and influence others well!
There is so much to talk about. We're going to spend five weeks talking about winning friends and influencing people for Jesus. And no, I’m not going to retread Dale Carnegie's book. You can do that on your own. There is another bestselling book of greater interest to us—the Bible. What does the Bible say?
So already you might be sitting there saying, “Wait a minute… where do we get this idea God wants or needs or expects anything of us?” The late John Stott said something I'll never forget. He said, “There is a direct correlation between a person's view of Scripture and their evangelistic temperature.” All over Scripture, God tells us everywhere, that what we say and do matters for his glory. God in his sovereign wisdom, has made it so. The Bible can help us overcome whatever interpersonal and also missional deficits we carry.
Four very quick points. All John Stott. First, the Bible is our Mandate for Mission. Remember how when God called Moses, he questioned God, “Who am I to go…?” A mandate is authorization to speak and act. Who are we, the Church, to go? Why must you? Why must I ? Why must we go right now? Because God has called us.
Second, the Bible is our Message for Mission. Remember how Moses asked God, “What we should say?” God gives us what to say, by his Spirit, by his Word!
Third, the Bible is our Method for Mission. Like in practical terms, how do we win friends and influence people? Where do we start? What steps can we take? The late Ben Merold, one of the most renowned evangelists in the Christian Church movement would always say, “Methods are many, principles are few… methods always change principles never do.” The gospel is the same yesterday, today, and forever. But methods must change. How we reached people in 1930 is not how we reach people today. How the Apostles reached people in Jerusalem wasn't the same as Judea, Samaria, Rome, Spain, and beyond. In the Bible, there is a remarkable array of innovation. We have countless examples of God's people learning to find their voice and influence their generation.
Fourth, the Bible is itself our Means for Mission. In John 17:17 Jesus prayed, “Father… sanctify them by your truth. Your word is the truth.” The word of God in itself… spoken, understood, received by faith… brings out the best in us and others. This is one of the greatest secrets to evangelism. God's word does the heavy lifting for us. In creation the Word of God spoken creates all things visible and invisible, in all heaven and earth. 1 Peter 1:23 reminds us that we, ". . . have been born again, not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding word of God." Hebrews 4:12, “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Romans 10:17, “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.” In Isaiah 55:11 God tells Isaiah, “So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.” So, the Bible gives us a mandate, to get off the bench, and serve God. The Bible gives us our message, which concerns Christ Jesus. The Bible gives us methods—we can look to example of Jesus Himself to learn all there is to know about winning friends and influencing people for God. And the Bible (the Spirit inspired Word) is our means of winning friends and influencing people for Jesus.
So yes: “There is a direct correlation between a person's view of Scripture and their evangelistic temperature.”
This morning is Week 1 of 5. As I’ve read Scripture, I’ve discerned five levels of impact (or influence) we can have on people. You can think of these 5 Levels as a recipe. When you bake stuff, there is a logical order to how you mix things. First you mix the flour, salt, and baking soda. Then you mix the sugar, eggs, and vanilla together. {what am I baking}? Then you combine them… Then add chocolate chips.
Influence always begins with prayer. In Matthew 9:35-36, we find Jesus going “. . . through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness.” But listen to this, “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” This reminds me of that verse in Exodus where it says God “heard” the cries of the Israelites, and “saw” their misery, and God “knew…” The truth is that by default, we can be relatively calloused—not hearing, seeing or understanding the plight of humanity, estranged from God. It wasn't until Moses encountered God at that burning bush that he really began to see what God saw, hear what God heard, and understand what God knows.
When Jesus first called the Disciples, he promised to make them fishers of men. But before they could ever answer such a high call, they first had to be wrecked about the same things that wreck the heart of God. People! They stood right by Jesus as the crowds clamored after Jesus. They saw what he saw, and heard what he heard. But only Jesus had compassion. Only Jesus understood how harassed and helpless they were. Only Jesus had the heart of a shepherd. So how do we move from callousness to compassion? In Matthew 9:37-38 Jesus says to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”
A heart for mission, to win friends and influence for people for Jesus, is forged on our knees in prayer. I want to use a different word for prayer though. I like the word “contend." The word contend implies struggle, conflict. God wants us on our knees contending for hearts and minds to be won over, for workers to rise up (to hear, see, understand) and set their hand to the plow, never looking back.
In Philippians 3:18-19 Paul writes, “For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things." It’s as we get deep into the Word, and down on our knees, that the tears begin to flow… that we understand and know.
Most everyone has heard the Lord's prayer. Luke 11:1. The Disciples one day said, “Lord, teach us to pray.” And Jesus says, Luke 11:2, When you pray, say: “‘Father, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come.” Also Matthew 6:10, “your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” In prayer, we’re making God's business our business, right? In the garden Jesus laid down his life, he anguished in prayer for the good of humanity, “Father not my will be done, but your will be done.” But then there is this other aspect prayer that we don't consider. In prayer not only are we making God's business our business, were making God's business the business of others! Father, your kingdom come… your will be done on earth as it is heaven. God have your way with me… God have your way in the hearts of men. Prayer doesn't just change you and me, it changes the world.
In Matthew 18:18-20 Jesus says, “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” In the context, Jesus is talking about how to deal with people who are stubbornly resistant to spiritual correction. Treat them like a pagan or tax collector, Jesus says. But it doesn't mean what we think. How do you treat a pagan? That son or daughter? That lost person… You give them prayer treatment! Matthew 18:19-20, “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
If you want to win friends and influence people for Jesus, you pray. You form a prayer circle. You fight, you struggle, your soul anguishes over them, you contend. Father, your kingdom come, your will be done. Matthew 5:44-48, “43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
Prayer enables us to make the pilgrimage from hatred to love, from fear to faith, from evil to good, from ambivalence to warmth and friendship. But it also helps us make that pilgrimage. I definitely know Christians who refuse to pray for their enemies. But I know just as many Christians who won't even contend in prayer for those they love. They've resigned from praying for their own sons and daughters! “Oh, what's the use. I've prayed for years. Why bother.” We don't just reap what we sow… we reap what we pray or don't pray. So yes: “There is a direct correlation between how deep a person get's into Scripture and their evangelistic temperature. . . but also whether we get down on our knees, praying, contending for the souls of friends, families, and enemies alike.