He was born into the worst of all possible situations. His father was a con artist who successfully conspired against his own family members to steal his family's fortune. He spent his childhood in fear as his father moved the family from place to place, fleeing those who sought to reclaim what he had deceptively stolen. Over the course of his childhood his father sustained relationships with four different wives and had multiple children with each. His home was fragmented with competing factions, divided loyalties, and unhealed hurts.
His duplicitous, passive father rarely stepped in to discipline any of the children. He lacked the personal integrity. He was a poor role model. At any time his kids could point out his hypocrisy and say, "Dad you did it, so it must be okay." So when his oldest brother had a sexual escapade with his stepmother, the father did little or nothing about it. He just brushed it off. One by one every son in this family began to develop his own deviant patterns of behavior, thus raising the level of family turmoil to all new heights.
There is more. When Joseph was young his sister was violently raped by a band of thugs. It was too much for the family to endure. His brothers went out and brutally murdered the men who had victimized their sister. It was of little comfort. Afterward the father was more concerned with the financial and social repercussions of their murderous plot, and less concerned about the moral flaws his sons' behavior revealed.
Another problem in the family was that his father played favorites. Fortunately for Joseph, he was his father's favorite son. He got special attention from his father. He got extra portions at mealtime. He was able to get out of chores. His father gave him the finest clothing available and spared him the traumatic ordeal of having to wear his brothers' hand-me-downs. But unfortunately for this young man his brothers became so envious that they wanted to kill him. They saw him as the number one obstacle to their father's affection. And his three stepmothers treated him no better. He was a spoiled child. They wanted to see their own sons treated fairly and equitably.
This story is right out of the Bible. It can be found in Genesis 37 through Genesis 50. It is the story of Joseph, the son of Jacob.
Joseph the brat?
The first thing we learn about Joseph other than the fact that he came from a dysfunctional family is that he was a goody-goody with a big mouth. In Genesis 37:2 he tattles on his brothers and gives a bad report about them to his father. And then he had this richly ornamented robe his father gave him, a robe he just loved to parade around in. This was a robe that symbolized his father's favoritism. This was a robe that evoked deep resentment in his brothers every time they saw it.
And let's not forget that Joseph was a dreamer. In Genesis 37:6-7 (NIV) it says that one day he told his brothers, "Listen to this dream I had: We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it."
In Genesis 37:8 (NIV) the brothers rebuke Joseph and say, " 'Do you intend to reign over us? Will you actually rule us?' And they hated him all the more because of his dream and what he had said." As if that weren't enough, Joseph told them of yet another dream in Genesis 37:9 (NIV)." 'Listen,' he said, 'I had another dream, and this time the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.' "
Now perhaps Joseph was just naïve. Perhaps he didn't realize how jealous his brothers had become of him or how much they hated him. Perhaps he enjoyed provoking and antagonizing them. We just don't know.
One day in the field Joseph's brothers see him coming in the distance and they hatch a plot to kill him. They resolved to take his beautiful robe and dip it in goat's blood and tell their father that Joseph had been torn apart by wild animals. Luckily, at the last moment one of Joseph's brothers suggested that they sell him to some Ishmaelite slave traders instead of killing him. And so while his brothers were lying to his father about his disappearance, Joseph was being transported to a distant land to be resold as a slave in the land of Egypt.
So let's just do a little bit of biblical mathematics here, and add up Joseph's hurts. Favored son, hated brother. deceptive father, dysfunctional family. Deviant brothers, kidnapped, sold to slave traders, transported to Egypt, alone in a country and culture he did not know, forced to learn a new language that he did not understand. Joseph was having a miserable couple of years!
Joseph takes responsibility.
By every imaginable standard Joseph fits the modern profile of a victim. Just think about it. Every card was stacked against Joseph, every card. He was born into the wrong family, to the wrong mother, at the worst possible time. He had bad genes. He had bad circumstances. He had bad siblings. His life was out of control. He had no friends. He had no support. He was an innocent victim of his brothers' jealousy. What a mess.
Let me ask, if your life were like Joseph's life, would you play the victim? Would you surrender to your circumstances? Would you raise the white flag of despair and defeat? Would you retreat inward into self-pity and depression? Would you blankly stare off into the sky saying, "If only this, if only that?" If you were in Joseph's shoes, what would you do?
This morning some of you are in Joseph's shoes and have opted to play the victim. Some of you believe that the script for your life has already been written. Some of you believe that the course of your whole life has already been determined by your family situation or by some childhood experience or by some set of circumstances beyond your control. Some of you believe that you are not responsible, and that every thing and everyone around you is to blame for who you are and for what you are becoming. Some of you lull yourselves to sleep at night saying, "There is nothing I can do. That's just the way I am. If only this. If only that. If only he hadn't, then I wouldn't have. It is not my fault. I'm powerless. Woe is me. I'm just the victim here."
I'm not here this morning to judge. Who knows what any one of us would do if we were to ever trade shoes with another person in this room? This morning I am here to say that there is a better way and that instead of playing the victim, Joseph found that better way. Ravaged and victimized and mistreated, Joseph consciously and consistently chose to have personal integrity before God. Joseph reasoned that when all is lost it is best not to lose God as well!
As we turn through the pages of his life Joseph's personal integrity before God sparkles. In Egypt, even as a slave, Joseph resolves to live an upright life. He couldn't choose his circumstances or his genes, but he could sure choose his response. Joseph was responsible. He was responsible. He took courage in knowing that he was able to respond to his circumstances by living a life that glorified God.
Joseph and sexual temptation.
And so Joseph became a slave in Egypt in the house of Potiphar. Potiphar was one of Pharaoh's officials. He was the captain of the guards. He was in charge of the king's security detail. He was Pharaoh's chief executioner. Joseph was an immediate success in Potiphar's household. Genesis 39:2-5 (NIV) says, "The LORD was with Joseph and he prospered, and he lived in the house of his Egyptian master. When his master saw that the LORD was with him and that the LORD gave him success in everything he did, Joseph found favor in his eyes and became his attendant. Potiphar put him in charge of his household, and he entrusted to his care everything he owned. From the time he put him in charge of his household and of all that he owned, the LORD blessed the household of the Egyptian because of Joseph. The blessing of the LORD was on everything Potiphar had, both in the house and in the field."
Had Joseph chosen to be the victim, had Joseph chosen a different path, there is no indication that God could have blessed him so immensely. But I told you that Joseph had the cards stacked against him. Genesis 39:6 (NIV) tells us that, "Joseph was well-built and handsome." In our day being on the front of GQ Magazine is an asset to one's career, but in Joseph's case it was a curse because Potiphar's wife took notice of him. Out of the blue she would approach him and make strong sexual overtures to him. In Genesis 39:7 (NIV) she said, "Come to bed with me." Genesis 39:10tells us that she spoke to Joseph day after day. Her message was, "Come on Joseph. No one will know. It's just between us. It will be fun. Come to bed with me."
Let me ask. If you were in Joseph's shoes would you be tempted to play the victim? Would you surrender to this woman's advances? Would you raise the white flag of surrender and say, "Oh why not? I can mend the fence with my God later! Would your flesh cry out and embrace the song lyric, "I can't stop this feeling anymore?" You might resist her once or twice, but would you be able to resist her day after day?
Hollywood would have us become a victim of our emotions. But in Genesis 39:9-13 (NIV) Joseph confronts her by saying, " 'How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?' And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her. One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside. She caught him by his cloak and said, 'Come to bed with me!' But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house."
A couple of comments are very appropriate here, and this isn't just for men. It is foolish to try to reason with temptation, and especially sexual temptation. Throughout history sexual temptation has destroyed more men and women and families than all other types of temptation. We should approach sexual temptation the same way we approach killer bees. Just don't approach them! Run for your life! Flee, even if it means leaving your cloak in the clutches of temptation.
It means that you avoid the magazine rack. You cancel your internet subscription. You unplug your cable television. You change cubicles. You change departments. You change jobs. You look the other way. You do whatever it takes to flee with your integrity before your life is palpitated by the poisonous sting of sin.
You don't stand around saying, "Gee, I love the pleasant hum of those bees." Or, "Gee, I love their vibrant colors and the beautiful formations they fly in." Or, "Gee, I wonder if I can get them to chase me?" Or "Gee, I wonder if I can outrun them?" Or "Gee, I wonder if I could hide a few of those around the house?"
You do not flirt with killer bees and you do not flirt with sexual temptation. You do whatever it takes, you pay whatever price necessary to avoid losing your integrity and to remove the temptation from before your eyes.
Joseph valued his integrity before God more than the gratifications of the flesh. Joseph fled with his integrity intact, but he paid an enormous price in the short term. With Joseph's garment in hand, Potiphar's wife screamed out for help and fabricated a story against Joseph, falsely accusing him of trying to make sport of her. When Potiphar heard her account, he was deeply angered and threw Joseph into prison and put him on death row. Joseph was back to square one.
Joseph on death row.
Even though he was falsely accused, do you think that Joseph played the victim? In prison on death row, with his integrity still intact, Joseph soared to new heights. Genesis 39:20-23 (NIV) says, "But while Joseph was there in the prison, the LORD was with him; he showed him kindness and granted him favor in the eyes of the prison warden. So the warden put Joseph in charge of all those held in the prison, and he was made responsible for all that was done there. The warden paid no attention to anything under Joseph's care, because the LORD was with Joseph and gave him success in whatever he did."
In prison Joseph interprets the dreams of the Pharaoh's cupbearer and his baker, and this later paves the way for Joseph to interpret one of Pharaoh's dreams. In turn this led to his being freed from prison and being elevated to the highest office of the land. Joseph is placed in charge of all of Egypt and is charged with the responsibility of rationing the grain and fruit so that Egypt could survive a seven year famine.
Genesis 41:42-44 (NIV) says, "Then Pharaoh took his signet ring from his finger and put it on Joseph's finger. He dressed him in robes of fine linen and put a gold chain around his neck. He had him ride in a chariot as his second-in-command, and men shouted before him, 'Make way!' Thus he put him in charge of the whole land of Egypt. Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, 'I am Pharaoh, but without your word no one will lift hand or foot in all Egypt.' "
Joseph and forgiveness.
There is so much more to this story than I could ever hope to cover in one sermon, but let me conclude with one last event in the life of Joseph. Joseph is in Egypt. There is a famine throughout the land and soon people throughout the Middle East are making the long trek to Egypt to get food. As governor of Egypt, Joseph was in charge of disseminating grain. One day a large group of men show up to buy grain. Their accent and dialect sounded familiar to Joseph. Their faces were painfully recognizable. They were from Canaan. This could be Joseph's opportunity for revenge.
At once he realizes that these men are his brothers, the very cowards who sold him into slavery. In his presence, Joseph's brothers bow down to him with their faces on the ground. They are at his mercy. Their very survival depends on Joseph's next move.
Put yourself in Joseph's shoes for a moment. Would you play the victim? Would you rekindle all that buried hostility and pain? Would you lash out in violence and rage and try to even the score? Would you give them a taste of their own medicine? Would you project your deep hurts onto them? Would you try to make them feel the pain that you endured? Would you throw them into prison? Would you place them on death row? Would you throw the switch? What would you do if you were in total power? What would you do if you could wave a magic wand and make anything happen?
Well it was almost too good to be true that the tables were turned and that Joseph would be blessed with such a marvelous opportunity. Joseph wasn't perfect and he couldn't pass up the chance to at least mess with his brothers' minds a little. You can read about it in Genesis 42 through Genesis 45.
But in the end Joseph broke down and wept bitterly and he revealed himself to his brothers saying in Genesis 45:3-8 (NIV), " 'I am Joseph! Is my father still living?' But his brothers were not able to answer him, because they were terrified at his presence. Then Joseph said to his brothers, 'Come close to me.' When they had done so, he said, 'I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will not be plowing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt.' "
And there was a great family reunion in Egypt. And Joseph's father goes down to Egypt and is reunited with his favorite son Joseph, and his entire family settles in Egypt and thrives in the land. But before it is all over Joseph has one last difficult order of business to tend to.
In Genesis 50:19-21 (NIV) Joseph resolves to forgive his brothers. "But Joseph said to them, 'Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.' And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them. "
Throughout his life, the thing that set Joseph apart from his brothers was that he consciously and consistently chose to make a life for God happen. He didn't play the victim! He didn't resign himself to his base emotions and impulses. He chose to live a life of integrity. He chose integrity before God even when every part of his human flesh shouted, "Sex! Revenge! Bitterness!"
Our challenge.
And so it is with us that we must choose to live a life of integrity before God regardless of any circumstance, no matter how negative or costly.
It is tempting for you to seek revenge on your ex-spouse for the hurt he or she caused you.
It is tempting to give in to sexual temptation in a culture where every imaginable form of sexual gratification is so easily accessible.
It is tempting to fornicate, to sleep together with your fiancé before marriage, and even move in together because it saves money or seems convenient.
It is tempting to lie in order to make gains in the short term.
It is tempting to raise the white flag of surrender in a marriage instead of laboriously working through and talking through the issues at hand.
It is tempting as a parent to throw up your hands in frustration or to bully your child into submission or obedience. It is easy to release them from the consequences of their own choices or to leave them undisciplined.
It is tempting to play the victim, to give up, or to surrender. It is tempting to live in the patterns of our youth and of our fathers and of our grandfathers.
It is tempting to play the "what if" game.
But please know that every time you give into temptation, you forfeit God's blessing. And please know that every time you stand strong and life a life of integrity before God, that God will bless you in ways beyond your wildest imagination.
A promise from God.
In Romans 8:28 (NIV) Paul says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." In times of misery please know that God has a purpose. In times of misery please know that God is working for the good of those who love him. In times when all seems lost never ever compromise your integrity and lose God.
Know that like Joseph, God is with you through it all. God is with those who love him. God is accomplishing his purpose in your life. And friend, let God accomplish that good purpose in your life.