When our phones say “5G”, we know we’re connected and empowered. But how do we know if our lives are fully connected to God? And what does it mean to be fully empowered to reflect God’s character? The most foundational of all the G’s we’ll explore is grace. Filled with grace, the Father longed for his son’s return. At the first glimpse of him on that horizon, he ran to his son, threw his arms around him, kissed him, brought him home, threw a party, celebrated. The son probably felt he deserved punishment. He found extravagant grace instead.
Ephesians 2:7 tells us God has displayed the “immeasurable riches of his grace through his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.” Romans 5:20 says, “Where sin multiplied, grace multiplied even more.” 1 Timothy 1:4, says “… the grace of our Lord overflowed, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.” How great is the Father’s love! Immeasurable. Overflowing. Wider, higher, deeper, longer than anything imaginable. If you ever wonder whether you’ve exhausted God’s grace… you haven’t.
Our first concern is to get connected to God’s grace. But here is the deal. God doesn’t just want to multiply his grace “to us”—he wants to multiply his grace “through us.” So, in Luke 15:25-32, while everyone is celebrating the Father’s grace, the elder brother is outside sulking. Luke 15:25-32, “25 "Now his older son was in the field; as he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he summoned one of the servants and asked what these things meant. 27 'Your brother is here,' he told him, 'and your father has slaughtered the fattened calf because he got him back safe and sound.' 28 "But he became angry and didn't want to go in. So his father came out and pleaded with him. 29 But he replied to his father, 'Look, I have been slaving many years for you, and I have never disobeyed your orders, yet you never gave me a goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your assets with prostitutes, you slaughtered the fattened calf for him!'”
In this parable, Jesus makes grace hit home where it matters most; in the family. In every family there are some with the younger-son wiring, and some with the elder-brother wiring. It occurs to me that though I am the youngest son on my side of the family, I’m most wired like the Elder brother! I’m the dutiful son who always stayed home, obeying the rules, refusing to make waves. And in my family, I have an older brother who is most wired like younger brother. Roles are inverted!
What you may not understand, is how all those years, the Elder-brother had courtside seats to all the pain and drama that unfolded, as the younger brother sowed his wild oats. Maybe you’ve sat in the Father’s seat. Or maybe you’ve sat in the Elder’s brother’s seat. I can’t speak to the Elder brother’s psychology in Jesus’ parable, but I can speak to my own…
I cannot describe the pain of watching a loved one (who I once idolized) accelerate toward self-destruction. First came small acts of defiance, then greater. At first, things were confined to the home. But soon they spilled into the school, the community, the newspaper.
In my family, I became the silent observer. I saw my parent’s tears. I heard their agonizing conversations, wondering where my brother was, whether he was safe, or dead, or alive. At first, I cried. But soon I no longer found the energy to do so. You can only ride the emotional roller-coaster for so long.
Slowly the emotional climate our family changed. I found myself walking on eggshells. Grace wasn’t multiplying (love, peace, patience…)—instead, hostility multiplied. During the day mom would hear some report. And then at night, Dad would come home and just blow up. I’d do everything I could to keep the peace. But the smallest infraction, and dad would come down extra hard, “What are you becoming just like your brother?”
In Luke 15:31, the Father tells the Elder brother, “31'Son,' he said to him, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. '" In my family, I was practically invisible to my parents except if I messed up. You see, that’s where the anger and bitterness creeps in. That sense of inequity. You don’t have your parent’s attention, affection or love. You have a fraction… pieces… leftovers. There is of course a deeper analysis to be found. The elder brother's problem isn't merely bitterness. It's scarcity. He thinks: There isn't enough love, attention, celebration, grace to go around. But he was wrong. The Father’s love isn’t a finite pie!
The Elder brother’s crisis escalates not when his brother runs away but the moment he returned. For most of my life, my elder brothers’ problems were my father’s business. As long as my father was alive, I was kind of insulated. My brother’s problems and needs were my father’s business. But then dad died. And then mom began slipping away with Alzheimer’s disease. Suddenly, I was thrust into the middle of my father’s business! And about that time, my brother came knocking on my door. He has no other door to knock on.
How do you celebrate grace when the bloom is off the rose? How do you become a joyful, willing celebrant when trust has been broken, when safety is uncertain, when boundaries are still needed, when there are no guarantees? Grace doesn't always mean immediate trust. Grace doesn't eliminate boundaries. Grace doesn't pretend sin never happened. Grace does mean refusing to let bitterness have the final word.
In Luke 15:32, the Father appeals to the Elder Son. “But son… we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.'" In regard to God’s grace, we have two pivotal choices. The first choice is whether we want someone to be forever dead to us, or alive? I don’t think grace guarantees reconciliation—but I can tell you it maximizes the possibilities. Without grace, there is little hope for healing. The father is inviting the son back into relationship… “this son of mine…” is “this brother of yours”.
The Father says, “this brother of yours was lost and is found.” Grace isn’t just a matter of whether a person is alive or dead to us! It’s a matter of whether they become alive to God, alive in Christ… or remain dead in their sins. Grace is a matter of whether they become found or remain lost for eternity. Bitterness obscures the grace of God. It blocks people from seeing the kind of restorative kindness that can only be found in Christ Jesus. Yes! the father wanted the younger to be alive to the elder brother… but more than this… the Father wanted the Elder Son to be a joyful, willing celebrant, an extension of his own mercy and grace! He wants his grace to overflow not just “to” both sons but “through them both.” And on an even larger scale. God doesn’t just want us to be a church “connected” to his grace… he wants us to be a church empowered to reflect and extend his own mercy and grace. To be partners with him!
I wish I could tell you I’ve mastered this. I don’t want bitterness to have the last word in any relationship. I never want God’s grace to stop with me. Some days the elder brother still lives in me. But I don't want him to win. The younger son was lost far from home; The elder son was lost while standing in the father's yard.
I’ve had 1 Corinthians 13 on my mind all week. It says, “Love is. . . patient, kind, Love. . . does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. Love . . . finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. Love . . . bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love . . . never ends.” How great is the Father’s love! Immeasurable. Overflowing. Wider, higher, deeper, longer than anything imaginable.
Two opportunities. If you’ve been running from God, the running stops today. If you’ve ever wonder whether you’ve exhausted God’s grace… you haven’t. And if you’ve been standing outside the party, arms folded, heart wounded… it’s time to come inside. The Father isn't just calling prodigals home. He's inviting elder brothers in. His grace was never meant to stop with you. He wants it to flow through you.
If you’d like to explore grace… (Sunday night, Monday night). If you’d like to become a co-laborer in God’s grace… our next partnership lunch is first Sunday of July….