Ephesians 4:17-25 (NIV) says, "So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more."
"You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."
"Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body."
There is a lot being said about truth and deceit in these verses. The old self is callously given over to lying and deception. It freely vacillates between telling the truth and speaking falsehoods. It has lost all sensitivity and conscience. But not the new self. The Christian is being made new in the attitude of his mind. He is being created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. The new self puts off falsehood and speaks truthfully on every occasion.
This week I came across a list of common lies people tell each other, and the truth behind the lies.
- The lie: "What a beautiful baby!" The truth: "It looks like Winston Churchill."
- The lie: "Your baby looks just like you!" The truth: "You both look like Churchill."
- The lie: "It’s good to see you." The truth: "This is as positive as I can be about you."
- The lie: "I’m fine. Thanks for asking." The truth: "You don’t want to know and I don’t care to explain."
- The lie: "Gosh, we’d love to come over, but we’re just really busy this weekend." The truth: "We'retaking inventory of our toilet paper."
- The lie: "Sorry we’re late. We got lost." The truth: "We ran out of excuses to delay coming."
- The lie: "Thank you. It’s just what I wanted." The truth: "If it were the last gift on earth…"
- The lie: "I don’t want to be rude, but…" The truth: "I don’t want to be accused of being rude, because that’s exactly what I’m going to do."
In all seriousness, lying in whatever form is no trivial matter. Ephesians 4:25 (NIV) says, "Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body." The Christian is to put off lies and speak the truth on all occasions. At stake is every single relationship that is precious to us, for we are all members of one body.
First and most importantly, lying will destroy your relationship with God. But it will also destroy your church, your marriage, your family, your friendships, and even your career. Ultimately, lying destroys your soul. It sears the conscience. It callouses the heart. It makes you numb to the leading of God’s Holy Spirit. Lying has no positive benefits.
Many people believe that lying is a necessary evil. We offer all sorts of rationalizations for lying. We will lie to protect people’s feelings. A husband might tell his wife, "Of course that looks good on you." Or he may say, "Yes your hair looks fine." A wife might lie to her husband about their financial situation or credit card balances. Parents might lie to their children about their health, or lead their children to believe everything is okay in their marriage when it is not. Or they may tell a little lie like, "The doctor’s needle will not hurt." We may tell a salesman, "I’ll be back tomorrow." Or, "I need to talk to my wife before I buy that." We may tell a patient, "The doctor will be right with you."
One way we tell lies to protect people’s feelings is by offering exaggerated compliments, or pretending to enjoy something that we hate. One time an older couple invited Lara and me over for lunch. Throughout lunch the wife beamed with pride as she talked about all the contests she had won at the county fair for the best home-baked pie.As she talked, I noticed that there was a freshly baked pie over on the counter. I immediately began salivating like Pavlov’s dog.
After dinner, they offered us a piece of pie and some ice cream. As I sunk my teeth into the first bite, I had this extremely intense gag reflex. The pie was utterly bitter. Taking a deep breath, I took a few bites of ice cream and tried again. Arrrrggghhhh! It took everything I had just to swallow. I looked over at Lara, and she was dutifully eating her pie. She gave me one of those knowing looks that said, "Eat every bite, Jonathan."
As the couple kept offering me more ice cream and coffee, I put on my game face. "Mmmmm. I’ve never had this kind of pie. The crust is great. What did you say is in this pie? Gooseberries? Does the recipe call for sugar? How’d you form the crust?" But they knew the truth. I wasn’t fooling anyone.
Sometimes we will lie to avoid conflict, or to preserve the status quo. We want to preserve life the way we like it as long as possible. A husband might say, "I’m working late."Or, "I’m going out with the guys." Or, "That’s just someone from the office. We're only friends. It's nothing." Or we will lie to gain some benefit. We might lie to the IRS to avoid paying taxes. We might lie on a resume, on an insurance form, or on some other document. We might lie about a coworker or accomplishment in order to get some promotion. We may spread malicious gossip to gain a better social standing. We might lie to close a sale or to make a business deal. We might cheat on a test or plagiarize someone’s work in order to get a good grade. We might offer false information, nuance words, omit key details, or fabricate stories.
There are so many dimensions to lying that it would be futile to try and exhaust them here. Ultimately, our lies don’t protect anyone’s feelings. They don’t help us avoid conflict. They do very little to preserve the status quo. They always come full circle and create infinitely more destruction than we’d ever imagined.
Lying and darkness.
I read this week that lies accompany every form of wrongdoing. Our lies create the darkness sin needs in order to survive. In order to keep on sinning, we have to keep on lying. The teenager has to keep lying. The husband has to keep lying. The wife has to keep lying. The businessman, the employee, and the student all have to keep lying. Sin cannot survive in the presence of the truth. Sin shrivels up the moment it is struck by light. This is why the Bible commands us to confess our sins to one another. Confession brings sin to light, and thus destroys the power of sin.
Tragically, in John 3:19-21 (NIV) Jesus says, "This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."
The heart filled with sin is compelled to lie. The heart set on righteousness loves light. Consider what happens in Romans 1:25 (NIV) as men, "...exchanged the truth of God for a lie." The consequence? They become fools. They plunged into idolatry. They were given over to their sinful desires. They begin degrading their bodies. They become materialistic and greedy. They were given over to shameful lusts. They engaged in homosexual acts. They committed indecent acts. They developed depraved minds. They did what ought not be done. They become full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice, gossip, slander, hate, insolence, arrogance, pride, and disobedience; every form of evil.
In Romans 1 exchanging the truth of God for a lie opens the door for greater sin. In John 8:44 (NIV) Jesus calls Satan the father of lies. "He was a murderer in the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies."
The kingdom of Satan is strengthened through our lies. Evil increases as we lie. Sin thrives in and depends upon the darkness of falsehood. What greater reason than this do we need to put off falsehood and speak the truth?
But there are those who still insist that lying is a necessary evil. And there are those who even suggest that God needs our lies to accomplish good. A few weeks ago, Dr. Keith Ray from Lincoln Christian College was preaching about Joshua and the conquest of the promised land. In Joshua 2, Joshua orders spies to enter the city of Jericho in the promised land. The spies enter the city of Jericho at night, and take refuge in the home of a prostitute named Rahab. The spies are immediately discovered, and the king of Jericho commands Rahab to bring out the men who came to the city and had stayed with her.
But in Joshua 2:4-5 (NIV) Rahab lies. "Yes, the men came to me, but I did not know where they came from. At dusk, when it was time to close the city gate, the men left. I don’t know which way they went. Go after them quickly. You may catch up with them." The truth as told in Joshua 2:6 (NIV) is that Rahab, "had taken them up to the roof and hidden them under the stalks of flax she had laid out on the roof."
Later that night Rahab goes up and begs the spies for mercy in Joshua 2:8-13 (NIV). "I know that the Lord has given this land to you and that a great fear of you has fallen on us, so that all who live in this country are melting in fear because of you. We have heard how the LORD dried up the water of the Red Sea for you when you came out of Egypt, and what you did to Sihon and Og, the two kings of the Amorites east of the Jordan, whom you completely destroyed. When we heard of it, our hearts melted and everyone's courage failed because of you, for the LORD your God is God in heaven above and on the earth below. Now then, please swear to me by the LORD that you will show kindness to my family, because I have shown kindness to you. Give me a sure sign that you will spare the lives of my father and mother, my brothers and sisters, and all who belong to them, and that you will save us from death."
From all appearances, Rahab’s lie saved the spies from certain death. Later on, in the New Testament Rahab shows up as a descendent of Jesus. She is commended for her faith. She becomes a hero. Many point to this story as proof that there are certain occasions when we should lie.Some say that there are times when God needs our lives to accomplish his good purposes. But is this true?
The Bible never specifically commends Rahab for lying. She is commended for fearing the God of Israel more than the king of Jericho. The truth is that God doesn’t need our lies and no grounds ever justify a lie. God is powerful enough to open up a different way, if he so chooses.
Titus 1:2 says that God does not lie. Hebrews 6:18 says that it is impossible for God to lie. 1 John 1:6 (NIV) says, "If we claim to walk in fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth."
God wants absolutely no part in our lies. He calls us into the fellowship of light and truth. If you want further evidence of this, consider the story of Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5:1-11 (NIV). "Now a man named Ananias, together with his wife Sapphira, also sold a piece of property. With his wife’s full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles’ feet. Then Peter said, 'Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land? Didn’t it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn’t the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied to men but to God.' When Ananias heard this, he fell down and died. And great fear seized all who heard what had happened. Then the young men came forward, wrapped up his body, and carried him out and buried him. About three hours later his wife came in, not knowing what had happened. Peter asked her, 'Tell me, is this the price you and Ananias got for the land?' 'Yes,' she said, 'that is the price.'Peter said to her, 'How could you agree to test the Spirit of the Lord? Look! The feet of the men who buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out also.' At that moment she fell down at his feet and died. Then the young men came in and, finding her dead, carried her out and buried her beside her husband. Great fear seized the whole church and all who heard about these events."
It’s like I said, God wants no part in our lies. Great fear ought to seize us whenever we are about to lie. Lies invite Satan into our hearts. Lies expel the Spirit of God. In Ephesians 4:25 (NIV) Paul says, "Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body."
The Necessity of Truth
Truth is not a choice for the Christian. It is a necessity. There is to be no rationalization given for telling lies, no matter how slight. Lies must be identified and challenged. Every form of falsehood should be driven out of our lives with confession. 1 John 1:9 (NIV) says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." This is a promise. Confessing sin is the critical key to the purification of your soul. It is how we put off falsehood and it’s the essence of speaking the truth.
Allow me to take a few moments to tie up some loose ends. We’ve stated that lies destroy relationships, starting with our relationship with God. We’ve stated that lies destroy our souls. Lies sear the conscience, callus the heart, and make us dead to the leading of God’s Holy Spirit. Lying has no positive benefits. We’ve stated that lies don’t protect anyone’s feelings, don't help us avoid conflict, and do very little to preserve the status quo.Lies always come full circle and create infinitely more destruction than we’d ever imagined. We’ve stated that God doesn’t need our lies to accomplish his purposes and will. When we lie, we open the door for greater evil and for Satan himself to come into our hearts. There should be no lies for those desiring fellowship with God.
Practical considerations.
Trust God.
But how can we not lie? How do we navigate those moments of temptation? Trust God! As you tell the truth, know that God is faithful. When you walk in fellowship with God, you have nothing to fear. Even if you suffer for righteousness, you will be filled with tremendous joy, and this joy will transcend whatever hardship you might face. You will have no regrets. God will show you the way.
Be real.
Be real. Stop trying to enhance your image. Stop hiding behind masks and false purity. Sometimes the truth we need to speak to others is, "I messed up. I misjudged the situation. I sinned against you. I was wrong. Will you forgive me?" What’s so wrong with just telling the truth? People may think less of you for the moment, but in the end they will know that you are a person of honesty and integrity.
Pay the price.
Pay the price. The price you pay for telling the truth today doesn’t even begin to compare with the price you will pay for a lie tomorrow. If you tell the truth today, you can save your relationships with God and with others. You can be purified of all unrighteousness and experience restoration. But if you hold on to your lies, you will be a slave to your lies. You will always be looking over your shoulder, never knowing when those lies will circle back. Eventually you will forfeit all of the relationships that are precious to you today. Without repentance you will forfeit your soul. Is this a price you are willing to pay?
Privacy is necessary.
Privacy is necessary. People do not need to know everything. Parents, your kids do not need to know the full extent of your problems, but don’t lie to them either. What we communicate must be the truth. The level of detail depends on the relationship, the maturity of the persons involved and other such factors. Whether we are sitting across the kitchen table, or raise our right hand in the court of law, we must speak the truth and put off all falsehood.