Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse the Associated Press reports that, "After 43 years, one of the world’s prettiest pairs, the perfect plastic couple, is breaking up." The couple’s business manager said Barbie and Ken feel it's time to spend some quality time apart. Like other celebrity couples, their Hollywood romance has come to an end. From now on Ken will just be “a friend.” Their separation is partially due to Ken’s reluctance to get married. All those bridal Barbie dolls just reflect Barbie’s wishful thinking concerning marriage. But consider the bright side. The new California Barbie will wear board shorts, a bikini top, and metal hoop earrings. She will have a deeper tan and a new love interest- Blaine the Australian boogie boarder. What will we ever do with ourselves? I always thought their physical attraction would be the glue that held their relationship together.
Well there are plenty of other couples to keep tabs on these days. Take, for example, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. Remember that huge rock he put on her finger that kept people talking for months? Or what about the forty-something Demi Moore and the young Ashton Kutcher? Will their fifteen year age gap destabilize their relationship? And what about Trista and Ryan? Will the former "Bachelorette" rest content? Will Ryan be able to tolerate her obnoxious laugh forever? And let’s not forget reality television's famous new couple, Steve and Randy. Will Randy convince her family that Steve is the love of her life?
What is true love? God's word defines it.
It doesn’t take long to realize that there is a lot confusion concerning love today. What is true love? What does it look like? What makes it last? Where can it be found? Does it just happen? Does it even exist? It's not as easy to find answers to these questions as one might suppose.
This Valentine's Day God invites us to tune into his word to discover true love. The kind of love that goes far beyond the self-motivated, superficial, skin-deep love our culture promotes. The kind of love that builds strong marriages that can stand the test of time. The kind of love that fuses families together, mends broken relationships, binds Christians together, and revolutionizes our world. The kind of love that is lasting and eternal. It is this love we gather to reflect on and celebrate this morning.
This week with Valentine's Day looming, I wondered what Proverbs had to say about love. On one level Proverbs doesn’t say much of anything about love. There are just a handful of passages that speak directly about love in the book of Proverbs. At best the word love occurs infrequently in the book of Proverbs.
The book of Proverbs reveals what true love looks like in action.
And yet Proverbs has everything to do with love. But instead of talking generically about love, the Proverbs reveal what true love looks like in action. It shows us what the love of a father looks like in action. It shows us what the love of a mother looks like in action. It shows us what the love of a child looks like in action. It shows us what the love of a spouse looks like in action, and so on.
In our day and age we prefer not talking about love in action. Instead we mostly talk about the emotions of love, the physical attraction, the affection, the feelings, the desire, the passion, the romance, or the drama of love. And these things are certainly a facet of love, especially between husband and wife. But they do not represent the sum total of all that love is and all that love can become. They are but a fraction. Love goes far beyond what most know it to be in our day.
Today love is, at best, ambiguous. It is vague. It is mere sentimentalism. It lacks meaning and definition. It is everything and nothing at the same time. Have you ever noticed how a person can sayhe loves someone and yet in the very next moment completely contradicts that fact by his actions? We all do this to some degree, but Proverbs clears up the gray. It shows us what true love looks like in action. It shows us how true love speaks, acts, and lives. Let’s face it. Our spouses, our children, our co-workers, and our world all have very little tolerance for words of love. They are fed up with the world’s love. They want to see love in action. They want to see love lived out in our lives.
A portrait of love in action.
Consider, for example, the wife of noble character in Proverbs 31:10-31 (NIV). This passage is, I think, a portrait of love in action. "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 'Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.' Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate." Do you guys want me to read that again?
This passage doesn’t say one word about love. Yet everyone here would agree that these verses describe a woman who truly loves her husband and family! She is a woman of character and virtue. A woman who has the confidence of her husband. A woman who brings good to everyone around her. A woman who remains busy and productive by clothing her family, making sound financial and business decisions, showing proper judgement, giving to the poor, speaking with wisdom, and honoring her husband. She avoids idleness.
Her love isn’t revealed with outward charm and external beauty. Instead, her love is revealed in consistent, daily, God-fearing actions. And this is the essence of the true, action-oriented love found throughout Proverbs! Not mere words or warm sentimentalism, but concrete action. Lets take a few moments and discuss in general terms, the true essence of love.
True love embraces responsibility.
Proverbs says a lot about embracing responsibility of every kind. The wife of noble character illustrates what is prescribed of everyone throughout Proverbs. One of the most loving things we can do for ourselves and our families is to take responsibility for our situation instead of waiting on others to fix it. Responsibility involves being proactive, leading out, and initiating as opposed to just waiting, worrying, and wishing for things to get better.
The wife of noble character works with eager hands. She gets up while it is still dark and even works late into the night with a lamp. She travels long distances. She plants vineyards. She works vigorously. She does business.
Love takes responsibility. Love does whatever it takes. Love has a bias for action. Love does not grab and grasp. It does not demand. It does not pass things off. It does not wait on handouts. It steps up to the plate and does whatever is necessary. It provides. It serves. It gives. It sacrifices. It stores up. Such love is the basis for the Protestant work ethic. Provide for yourself. Don’t be a burden to others or society. Contribute to your household and community.
True love embraces righteousness.
Proverbs has even more to say about pursuing a path of righteousness. The wife of noble character demonstrates noble character. She has integrity. She doesn’t exploit those who work for her, but provides fully for their needs. She is respected by her husband and by people throughout the city. She does not compromise herself or the truth in any way. She fears God. She is an exemplary model to her family and community.
It is as Proverbs 4:18-19 (NIV) says, "The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day. But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble." True love never compromises righteousness. What’s right is what’s right. The simple fact remains that in the name of love, we can pursue some rather unrighteous behavior. Young people will surrender their virginity, alter their appearance, speak filthy language, disobey and lie to their parents, destroy their bodies with drugs or alcohol, and wreck their education and future opportunities. And they will do whatever it takes to please the person of their dreams. But it's not just young people. Adults do many of the very same things.
There is this myth that somehow righteousness is not compatible with love. The truth is that righteousness is the very heart and soul of love. The essence of love is seeking what is best for others. Righteousness brings out the best. In contrast, sin never brings about any good. Sin always brings out the worst. It destroys. Sin always circles back to ensnare and destroy our lives. If someone asks you to compromise righteousness, know right then and there thathis love is less then true. He does not have your best interests at heart.
Paul's definition of true love.
There are so many others things that we could add concerning true love, but there just isn’t time to do an exhaustive study! All the qualities of love Paul expresses in 1 Corinthians 13 are found in various forms throughout the book of Proverbs. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV) says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." Such is the nature of true love. It is responsible. It is righteous. It's lived. It acts. It is exceedingly greater than the stereotypes set forth in our culture.
Our love is imperfect, but there is one who loves perfectly.
Earlier we asked some questions. What is true love? What does it look like? What makes it last? Where can it be found? Does it just happen? Does it even exist? We have discovered that true love is much more than our emotions, physical attraction, affection, feelings, desire, passion, romance, and drama. Love isn’t the effortless reality we’d like it to be. Love is something we pursue. It is something we become and live out in the daily grind of life. As humans we will never give nor perfectly receive one another’s love. Our love will always be limited. It will always be less than one hundred percent true and authentic.
But there is one who does love perfectly. It is the one who took responsibility for the sins we committed and died on the cross for our sins. It is the one who both showed us the path of righteousness and became for us the righteousness of God.
The Bible tells us that God is love and that God loved us so much he sent his one and only Son, Jesus Christ,to die on a cross for our sins. John 3:16 (NIV) says, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." Sometimes it is impossible to know how to love until we experience real thing. As this service comes to an end, that opportunity is yours. We invite you to the Newcomer's reception at the end of this service to discover how to take your first steps toward knowing Jesus Christ.
We invite you to make your way into a Lifestage Bible Fellowship or a Life Group. In our midweek Lifestage Bible Fellowship, we are exploring the life of Jesus Christ. Last week our class doubled in attendance. We’d love for you to come and see how God put his love in action through Christ.