As Christians, we are really concerned about two issues related to our identity. The first part of our identity relates to our love for God. Jesus told us to, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." Matthew 22:37 (NIV). In the first four messages we explored four key ideas. How well-grounded am I in God’s word? Has God’s grace filled me with joy? Am I led by God’s Holy Spirit? Am I pursuing holiness in all of life?
This morning we begin exploring the second part of identity which is the people side. How well do we love people? The question I want you to first consider this morning is, "Are you known as deeply devoted person demonstrating true spiritual leadership by shepherding your entire household toward godliness, faith, and love?" God’s plan for your family is that you be deeply devoted to your family and that you demonstrate true spiritual leadership. It doesn’t matter whether you are a parent, grandparent, child, or sibling. God has this plan for your family. The starting point for spiritual leadership in the family is to acknowledge that Jesus Christ is the cornerstone for all of life and especially for your family.
Jesus Christ is the cornerstone for all of life.
In ancient architecture, the cornerstone was a critical building component. The cornerstone brought stability and structural integrity to the whole house. It would be used to square up walls. If the cornerstone wasn’t chosen carefully, the whole building could potentially collapse. Here are a few passages that speak of Jesus being the cornerstone for our lives and by extension, for our families.
1 Peter 2:4-6 (NIV) says, "As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him— you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. For in Scripture it says: 'See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame.' "
Ephesians 2:19-22 (NIV) says, "Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God’s people and members of God’s household,built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit."
Christ-honoring marriage is the keystone to healthy family.
A second critical building component for a Godly family relates to marriage. You can think of a marriage as a keystone. A keystone is wedge-shaped stone that is placed at highest point of an arch. This stone locks all other stones in place and essentially binds the structure together to prevent its collapse. The integrity, or "oneness" of this keystone strengthens the house. Without a keystone a building begins to collapse.
This is an analogy for the important of marriage. Notice how the "oneness" of husband and wife foster godly offspring. Notice how the disruption of this oneness dishonors God and fosters violence within families. In the book of Malachi the people rejected the cornerstone, their covenant with God, and destabilized the keystone of their culture which was the covenant between husband and wife.
Malachi 2:10-16 (NIV) says, "Have we not all one Father? Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the covenant of our fathers by breaking faith with one another? Judah has broken faith. A detestable thing has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem: Judah has desecrated the sanctuary the LORD loves, by marrying the daughter of a foreign god. As for the man who does this, whoever he may be, may the LORD cut him off from the tents of Jacob—even though he brings offerings to the LORD Almighty. Another thing you do: You flood the LORD’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, 'Why?' It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.'I hate divorce,' says the LORD God of Israel, 'and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,' says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith."
Now some of you may be wondering, "What if I have a broken marriage? What if I have an unbelieving spouse who doesn’t care about God or my marriage?" The Bible tells us that God still has plan for your family, even though the marriage is destabilized. In this verse, "sanctified" means set apart for God’s purposes and the fruit is holy children.
1 Corinthians 7:14 (NIV) says, "For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy."
Children have responsibility within the home.
Children have responsibility within the home. They are like stones built into a structure of which the cornerstone (Christ) and the keystone (marriage) supports. Ephesians 6:1-3 (NIV) says, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother'—which is the first commandment with a promise— 'that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.' "
A lot of kids think that they know better than their parents, yet parents have a breadth of life experience that far transcends that of their children. You cannot stack a child’sten to fifteenyears of experience against a parent's twenty, thirty or forty (got to be really careful here!) years of experience. It is really in the child’s best interest to honor and obeyher parents and cooperate with their leadership. The first part of this is that God commands it. The second part is that it is in the child’s best interest, if he or she wants to be blessed.
The Church plays a supporting role.
Some may ask wherethe church isin all of this. The Church plays a supporting role to parents. Parents cannot abdicate their role as spiritual leaders. Nor should the Church, in the name of children or youth ministry, seek to usurp the parent’s role.
There is this mentality todaythat parents drop their kids off at church. This is a failed strategy for cultivating a godly family. We would rather that kids drop parents off! Parents play such a critical role in their child’s spiritual formation. If the marriage is strong, vital, and spiritual, the whole family will be healthy as well.
Here is some proof that this is true. The Search Institute did a study. (www.Search-Institute.org) They surveyedtwelfth grade students to discover who has had the most significant spiritual influence on their lives. What do you think the results were? As a pastor I hoped it would say that the pastor was thenumber oneinfluence, but I am not! Who was number one? It was Mom. Who was number two? Dad. Then grandparents (3), other relatives (4), siblings (5), and friends (6). Way down on the list asnumber sevenwas pastors (7), then church camp (8), and media (9). Sunday school and youth group were even farther down the list!
Parents, it is not "if", but "what" are you passing on to your kids? You want to be involved in their lives.
The priority of spiritual leadership.
In Matthew 5:14-16 Jesus tells us that we are the light of the world. But if you look at this passage more closely, Jesus talks about lighting a lamp and putting it on a stand so that it gives light to the whole house. In other words, the lamp must shine on a stand in your house before it will shine substantially in the world. The home is the first frontier of concern for spiritual formation.
A popular passage is in Joshua 24:14-15 (NIV) where Joshua resolves to take spiritual leadership in his home. Meanwhile, the culture around him was abandoning its covenant with God. "Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."
Parents, whatis your plan for cultivating a family that serves God? The Search Institute has identifiesforty assets that are imperative for young people to have if they are to grow up and be successful. If a child does not have these assets he or she is more vulnerable to divorce, drug addiction, criminal activity, and dozens of other evils. [Visit www.search-institute.org/assets to read these assets.]
Most interesting is how the Church can be one of the greatest assets for young people because it provides almost all these assets in one form or another! Read Acts 2:42-47 and Deuteronomy 6this week to see how the Church can support the spiritual formation of your children and be one of your greatest assets.
Why not make church yourthird place? Your home is your first place. Work is your second place. Church can be your third place. Church can be a place of priority to nourish your family spiritually.
I’ll end with a simple invitation. In Revelation 3:20 (NIV) Jesus says, "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me."Will you invite Christ into the center of your life, marriage, and family?