Beautiful Women

Don't mess with hornets!

When I was a kid, I went to church camp every summer. The camp had these towering oak trees whose branches shaded everything. One day I was lying on a bench, looking up into the trees, when I noticed an enormous mud ball, much larger than a football, hanging among the branches!

So I squinted my eyes and sure enough, there were hornets flying in and out of the nest. And not just a few, but hundreds, maybe thousands of hornets! How cool! I thought to myself what fun it would be to rattle that hornet's nest! So I ran and grabbed a rock, and with all my strength, chucked the rock at the nest. But no matter how hard I threw the rock, or what angle I chose, I couldn't throw it high enough!

When I couldn't stand it anymore, I found the camp manager, who was a wise man. When I mentioned the nest, a look of concern swept across his face. "No son, you don't mess with them hornets. You just let them lie." That was the best advise I ever received!

This morning our text is 1 Timothy 2:9-15 (NIV). Every preacher who has ever read these verses has had the same reaction. "Let it lay Paul. Don't stir up the hornet's nest. Don't stir up the women." But the apostle Paul couldn't help himself! So here we go.

Paul's words to women.

1 Timothy 2:9-15 (NIV) says, "I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. But women will be saved through childbearing-- if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety."

There is a lot to talk about in these verses! It strikes me that one of the problems in the Church is that Christian men don't know what they want the women around them to be. Husbands don't know what they want their wives to be. Fathers don't know what they want their daughters to be. Our philosophy is that guys will be guys, and girls will be girls.

But this isn't just a problem with men. How many women know what kind of woman they want to be? Or what kind of daughters they want their girls to be?

Men, what does it mean for a woman to be beautiful, for your wife or your daughter to be beautiful? And women, what does it mean to be beautiful? For other women or for your teenage daughters to be beautiful?

Physical beauty consumes us.

Every woman wants to be beautiful. But are all women beautiful? Can all women be beautiful? Can older women be beautiful? Women with a larger bone structure? What about a woman who is sick, diseased, or has a debilitating condition?

In your Bible, it says in Genesis that Jacob was smitten with Rachel, but he got stuck with Leah instead. Genesis 29:17 (NIV) says, "Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel was lovely in form, and beautiful." Weak eyes! What does that mean? The whole time Jacob was married to Leah, his eye was on Rachel.

Most women feel that they are Leah living in a Rachel world. They focus on their imperfections. They over-idealize the Rachels around them. Unfortunately, a lot of men are like Jacob too. They focus on their wife's imperfections and over-idealize the beauty of other women. Beauty consumes.

It's interesting how Facebook got started. Mark Zuckerberg created a website where students could vote on which girls were the hottest. The Rachels got voted up, and the Leahs got voted down.

Physical beauty stirs men to lust.

It's true that women can struggle with lust; but men especially struggle. For most men, it's not a matter of whether they lust, it's how much they will lust. It isn't whether they will look at pornography, it's how much they will look. God has wired us up to desire beautiful things-- but like all desire, it can corrupt our soul and ruin relationships.

The Church at Ephesus was filled with lustful men. In 1 Timothy 1:10 Paul mentions adulterers and perverts. In 1 Timothy 3:2 Paul encourages godly men to have fidelity in their marriage. Why? In 1 Timothy 5:2 (NIV) Paul tells Timothy to treat, "treat older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity." Why?

In 2 Timothy 3:6 (NIV) Paul warns Timothy about the kind of men who, "worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires." The Church was filled with opportunistic men who were ruled by lust. In 2 Timothy 3 Paul calls out two such men by name!

As a church, we need to be honest about the character of ordinary men. Ladies, a man's default thought is to become captivated by your physical beauty. Don't be naïve. Your physical beauty stirs men to lust. Men are going to be the last ones to dissuade you from immodesty, indecency, and indiscretion.

Men, for whatever it's worth, whenever I'm in the presence of an attractive woman other than my wife, I tell myself, "This is my sister. This is my mother." When I think this way, it helps me guard my eyes, my speech, my thoughts, my heart, my marriage, and my soul.

Physical beauty stirs women to envy.

Just as lust is a problem for men, so envy is a problem for women. A woman's default thought is to envy another woman's beauty. Women constantly obsess about their own beauty, and compare themselves to other women. The next time you are at a restaurant, notice how women will give each other a "once over" as if to say, "You're so beautiful. I secretly hate you."

Is not envy just as destructive as lust? Here is the issue for the Church. How can we become a redeemed community if men are filled with lust and women are filled with bitterness and envy?

The Church at Ephesus was filled with women who had a way of projecting their sexuality in destructive ways. When Paul speaks of women with, "braided hair, gold, pearls, and expensive cloths", he isn't talking about women who wanted to look nice for church. He is speaking to women who were overtly broadcasting their sexuality and their availability by glammin' it up!

Over in 1 Timothy 5:6 (NIV) Paul speaks of the widow, "who lives for pleasure" and who is, "dead even while she lives." In 1 Timothy 5:11 (NIV), he describes widows whose, "sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ" and in 1 Timothy 5:12 (NIV) he talks of widows who have, "broken their first pledge." In 1 Timothy 2:9 (NIV) Paul's concern is for women lacking a sense of modesty, decency, and personal discretion.

What do you think is a bigger problem in the Church? Is it lustful men who see women as an object of their desires? Or is it provocative women who make themselves objects of lust and envy? I think you'd agree that it's both.

Physical beauty is limited.

Earlier, I asked you to consider if all women can be beautiful. The answer depends on your idea of beauty. Beauty is what you desire most. If you desire physical perfection, then the answer is no, not everyone can be beautiful. There will always be winners and losers, the liked and unliked, the friended and defriended. Proverbs 31:30 (NIV) says, "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."

Ladies, your skin won't always be as smooth as it is now. Hair loses its color and vigor. Your muscle tone and posture weakens with age. Your metabolism slows. The stress of life, the rigors of child bearing, child-rearing, and husband-rearing takes its toll on you physically. Lines adorn your face with age. Skin sags. Your body hair punks you, never growing where you want! All my hair has slowly slid down my neck. The other day I noticed a hair growing straight out of my ear. What a man can shrug off can just as easily devastate a woman.

If you're a woman, you don't have to live in a prison of glam. You can do everything in your power to hold on to physical beauty, or try to remanufacture it with hair, nails, diamonds, make-up, makeovers, lifts, tucks, surgeries, or botox. But physical beauty fades. There is a deeper beauty available to you, but it takes courage to pursue it.

Modesty accentuates true beauty.

Paul's instruction in 1 Timothy 2:9-10 (NIV) is, "I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God."

I'll tell you ladies a little secret! Men, what is more beautiful, modesty or immodesty? Decency or indecency? Discretion or indiscretion? Loudness or quietness? Boldness or submission? A woman who humiliates you or one who respects your God-given role to be a spiritual leader? The truth is that character in speech and conduct is more beautiful than anything you can do with your hair, makeup, clothes, or jewelry. Godliness is truly beautiful.

A lot of people, not just women, overcompensate in speech when they feel they are losing respect. No one loses respect faster than an immodest woman. This is why Paul goes on to say in 1 Timothy 2:11-12 (NIV), "A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent."

I don't think these verses are a blanket prohibition on woman ever speaking or teaching in the Church. I believe that Paul was speaking particularly to women in the Church who were of corrupt character, who'd been overcome by their sensual desires.

This is why Paul uses example of Eve in verses 1 Timothy 2:13-14 (NIV). Eve disrespected God's authority, cast aside knowledge, and took what was forbidden. "For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner."

Ladies, men might get excited by an immodest woman. But men will never respect an immodest woman. They will never commit to her, truly love her, or take spiritual initiative. If you are in a relationship and wonder why your boyfriend doesn't marry you, have you taught him to respect God's authority by your example? Have you taught him to respect the true beauty of a quiet and godly life? Lust and immorality don't anchor a man. They corrupt him.

True beauty causes worship.

In 1 Timothy 2:15 (NIV) Paul makes this seemingly cryptic statement that, "women will be saved through childbearing-- if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety."

There are a lot of opinions about what Paul means, but we know what he doesn't mean. He is not suggesting that merely having babies is a free ticket into heaven. We are saved by grace, and grace alone. And notice how there is a conditional clause. Women will be saved if they continue in faith, love, and holiness with propriety.

But isn't everyone saved as they continue in faith, love, and holiness? Why the emphasis on the faith, holiness, love, and the salvation a woman possesses as she goes through the child-bearing process? I think Paul is reminding women that even though physical beauty might not last for eternity, there is a beauty that does.

It's the kind of beauty Abraham's wife Sarah had, once she realized that God would save the world through her offspring, Jesus Christ. Her desire to be used of God caused her to become submissive and obedient to God's purpose! She saw her husband Abraham as an extension of God's authority, as God's man leading her into a greater hope.

Ladies, you have an opportunity. While demonstrating your faith with your life, you have the ability to draw men and women into worship. Not worship of your physical body, not stir them to lust, not stir them to envy, but truly lead them in worship of your creator. Modesty comes down to your goal in life. If you are a woman of God, you want your life to cause people to set their desires and affections on God, not on you. You want to set an example for young men and women to follow.

Let me finish with Peter's teaching in 1 Peter 3:1-9 (NIV) which echos Paul's teaching in 1 Timothy 2. "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."