Bitter, Bigger, Better.
Most churches will claim to give you a clearer, more accurate view of God. And that’s important. After all, how you see the character of God has a lot to do with how you respond to life.
The question is, whose God are we seeing? What’s your painting of God look like? Do you picture the middle class American God? The angry God who is looking down on us in condemnation? The anything-goes God who forgives us unconditionally? Or are we seeing, or at least trying to see, the God who Jesus describes?
One definition of maturity is that over time, we can look at the same thing, but see it in a different perspective. Our perspectives change over time and maturity changes our perceptions of a situation. As I would wish for my daughters, I want a mature Christian to grow up and pay his own way. I don't mean to imply that we pay or earn our way into heaven, but we should be growing in our faith in Christ and paying it back by working and giving in Christ's church. And this growth should allow us to mature and change our perspectives of any situation.
So let’s take one of the most famous stories Jesus ever told and try to see God in a more grown-up way. Are you up for that? You probably all know this parable and the characters in it. But let's examine this parable in a more mature and maybe surprising manner. This is a study of three characters and the way in which they relate to each other and a study of their perceptions of God.
Character number one: the elder brother.
This character is known simply as the elder brother. The elder brother is bitter. He is full of ingratitude because he is ruled by a scarcity mentality. "There's not enough." He is suffering from EBS, or the elder brother syndrome.
The most famous quote from this character is in Luke 15:29-30 (NIV). "But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!' "
The backdrop for this character is a party. There’s music, laughter, dancing, and good wine, but this character, the elder brother, is standing on the outside looking in. It’s a family celebration. Think of the wedding scene in "Godfather I". But the elder brother is on the fringes of the party. He's pouting. He's defiantly refusing to attend because to do so would be to endorse the reason for the party. To attend would be to celebrate an unworthy person’s homecoming.
The party serves to highlight what has been true in this family for way too long. The older brother does not share his father's values. Because his father is the one sponsoring the party and he’s spending way too much on it. The father is spending too much money, is too lavish with his acceptance, is allowing too much merriment, and is showing too much compassion. There are actually those who don’t like to see others have a good time. Theirs is the spiritual gift of wet blanket throwing.
The party serves to highlight the fact that the elder brother has a scarcity mentality. "There’s not enough." There's not enough grace, not enough mercy, not enough money, not enough joy, not enough love, and not enough forgiveness to go around. There's not enough. Therefore, what little we have should only be spent only on those who deserve it. And here's the kicker. I’ll determine who deserves it! It’s called the Elder Brother Syndrome or EBS.
Elder Brother Syndrome is a major malady in churches today.
There are all kinds of syndromes today including irritable bowel syndrome and restless leg syndrome. But EBS is a major one for the church. It is a recognized malady in churches today. One of the signs and symptoms of EBS is anunspoken inference that we’re morally and spiritually superior. After all, we’re homebodies. Just like the elder brother. We never left home in the first place.
So the church becomes a morally superior place to sit in judgment about all those who are far away in a distant land. Instead of joining in the party, much of today’s Church is seen outside the party, pouting, because there isn’t enough grace and mercy to go around.
Other symptoms of EBS include over-controlling dominant behavior, arrogance, and most of all, bitterness. It’s a home of scarce resources where the bitter homebodies reside. A church afflicted with EBS is not a very pleasant place, because where bitterness resides, conflict occurs repeatedly. Creativity is stifled. Body life is boring. Change comes so slowly that it hardly comes at all. Members back away from responsibilities. Burned by criticism, many take up permanent residence in the bleachers. Young adults fade away or drop out.
The irreligious, however, are not inclined to tolerate this syndrome. They go elsewhere. Or worse, they go nowhere. The elder brother lives on today in the Church through hard working, but bitter people who are hoarding all they can in their scarcity mentality life. Leaving home has little to do with geography. It has to do with giving up preconceptions that we’ve held too tightly. It has to do with becoming mature, or not.
The elder brother needs to leave his scarcity mentality. This is something he’s unwilling to do. Instead, he’ll sit and stew in his bitterness.
Character number two: the loving father.
The loving father is bigger. He’s bigger than the bitterness and betrayal of his sons. One of the most famous quotes about the father is in Luke 15:20 (NIV). "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him."
Another reflection of the loving father is in Luke 15:31 (NIV). " 'My son', the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.'"
What values did the father possess that the elder brother rejected? Love, acceptance, forgiveness and – don’t miss this one – generosity. The judgmental elder brother is resentful, unforgiving, and miserly. The elder bother is ultimately the one who is consumed with material possessions. Compare him with Judas, the disciple who complained about the generosity of Jesus.
More often than not, those who complain about extravagance are the ones who are consumed with greed. Note this clearly:unforgiving people are rarely financially generous people.
However, as we learn in Jesus' story, the loving father has two sons. And on the second younger one he extends lavish forgiveness, mercy, and material possessions. There is no scarcity mentality here. The loving father has an abundance mentality.
The story shows us that he’s waiting and watching for his second son to come home. This waiting and watching is more difficult than running after him when he first leaves. The story tells us the that the loving father runs to put his arms aroundhis wayward sonand kisses him. Tom Wright calls this the parable of the "running father." In an Eastern culture, for older people to run was to be shamed. In first century culture it was not considered appropriate for an elderly man to run.
Among other things, the loving father teaches me that the only time I’m to gather my righteous robe around me is when I’m running to greet someone who has come to his senses and returns home. You’ll not exhaust the forgiveness, the mercy, or the patience of the loving fatherwho willsee you return and welcome you with a homecoming party.
Character number three: the prodigal son.
The backdrop is a dusty road home. It may have been paved with yellow bricks. The prodigal son was better because he came to his senses.
The famous quote attributed to the prodigal son comes in Luke 15:17-20 (NIV). "When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' So he got up and went to his father."
The word "prodigal" is not spoken by Jesus in this parable. Prodigal means "liberal" or specifically, "wasteful" or "lavish." In later cultures it came to mean "wayward". Most of the teaching I received on this parable focused on the wild living of the younger son and how we should avoid that because that will cause us to end up in a pigpen just like he did.
The real prodigal son is the elder brother.
However, the end of the story does not justify that emphasis. It’s true that the wayward person coming home is significant, but the ironic, bittersweet ending is that the father realizes that the real prodigal is the elder brother. So let’s end the parable on good news.
The so-called prodigal returns to his father after wasting all his inheritance on riotous, fast lane living. At the beginning of the story we encounter him as a self-absorbed consumer. His only response to his father’s hard-working lifestyle is, "Give me." "Give me what belongs to me, my inheritance." That’s the before character.
But eventually, after being reduced to feeding pigs for a living, he is graced with an agonizing but ultimately liberating moment of awareness. He comes to himself. That phrase is a medical term that describes someone who comes out of a coma. This awareness that living, really living life, consists of whatyou give back and not what you receive.
Giving back is that which enables us to experience the abundant life Jesus promised to us. The so-called prodigal returns home to find his long-suffering father waiting for him with open arms. The son’s cry is, "Now father, make me like one of your servants." That’s the after character. And that’s true conversion.
The difference between living and just existing is found in the difference between the phrases "give me" and "make me." There can be no homecoming without a leavetaking. The elder brother never left home. To come home, one must leave home. Life is not a good place for homebodies. Leavetaking is painful, traumatic, and risky. But the road to maturity leads through trials in a strange land in the forest of our nightmares, in contests with alien forces. True arrivals are preceeded by true departures.
The younger son leaves home with one picture of his father and comes home with an entirely different picture.
One final character: Luca Dean Brasi Venturella.
There is one final character who I’d like to introduce. I have a running partner who serves as my exercise trainer. His name is Luca Dean Brasi Venturella. When I come home from work and start to lapse into a comatose state, he’ll bring my running shoes to me and annoy me until I get up and go running with him. You should also know that Luca is a 60 pound fawn colored boxer.
We got him at the Los Angeles County pound and we brought him home one day before he was to be putdown. My daughters fell in love with him immediately. His background remains a complete mystery to this day. All we know is that like his master, he has an aggressive side that occasionally comes out. In his case it’s when he sees other dogs. He doesn’t get invited to play in other canine games. He pulls me around for thirty or forty minutes during our evening rampages. As a result, he’s in great shape, while people who sit around and figure such things officially classify me as overweight.
One particular evening after dark, we were running when I made the mistake of getting up on the lawn of a street with no sidewalks. Up ahead of us was a stray dog that Luca quickly sniffed out. We broke in to full speed mode about the same time I hit a hole in the ground. I went down and Luca broke free. He was determined to teach said stray dog a lesson or two about who’s the big dog.
Put this picture in your mind. It’s dark. He's running seventy miles per hour. And I’m chasing after him shouting his name. He turns the corner and disappears into the night. I’m still chasing him, shouting his name, limping and wheezing, but running as fast as I can and shouting as loudly as I can.
Soon, thoughts start running through my head. What am I going to tell my girls when I get home? "Kids, Daddy lost your dog when he fell down and skinned his knee. By the way, what's for dinner honey?" Talk about being in the doghouse!
Just then, several blocks away, I see what appears to be the form of a dog. It's running fast. Only this time he’s running toward me. And wait, yes, there’s a leash blowing in the wind behind him. It’s Luca and he’s running as fast as he can to get back to me. He arrives at my feet and lays down panting, and acts like nothing’s happened.
I can’t tell you the sense of relief and the joy I experienced, mainly because I wouldn’t have to report to my kids what a complete idiot that I am. But more than that, there's the pride that Luca knows whose he is. Because there was a moment when I thought he was lost. This dog whose family origins remain enigmatic understands that we love him. And now he’s been able to make a choice to make us his family.
That must be something like God’s never-ending love for us. He rescues us, all of us, with sullied pedigrees. Sometimes he rescues us a day before we’re ready to be put down. And then he loves us enough to give us the freedom to choose to love him in return. God's pride is revealed when we prove that we know who he is.
That must have been somewhere in T.S. Eliot’s mind when he wrote, "We must not cease our exploration, and the end of our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time."
Remember that real life consists in what you give, not in what you get.