Courageous Leaders

The Church of Jesus Christ isn't a building.

We're going to get to Paul's teaching in 1 Timothy 3 in a moment. It's going to be incredible. But first we've called this series "Ekklesia" which is the Greek word for Church. It refers to those who have been called out of the world to join the movement of Jesus.

Of course, it's natural for us to think of the Church as a building. After all, we do meet in a building! But the Church of Jesus Christ isn't a building. It's a movement! This building is only a tool. Buildings rise and fall. They get renovated and re-renovated. But God's work is forever.

Over the next few months it's going to feel like everything is changing. Walls will be torn down. There's going to be dust. By the way, we'd love for you to take out your aggression by helping us with demolition. But by far, the biggest change will be what God's doing in each of us! Our mission isn't changing.

Who should be the leaders of our church?

Traditionally, 1 Timothy 3 is seen as a text about appointing church leaders. Who should be elders? Who should be deacons? Who should be deaconesses? If you read the requirements for deaconesses, they echo much of what we said last week in the sermon about truly beautiful women. 1 Timothy 3:11 (NIV) says, "(Deaconesses) are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything."

At Lakeside, we empower women to serve in every capacity except eldership. Women are allowed to teach, so long as it's under the authority and guidance of the elders. We believe that women are equal to men, but that men have a particular responsibility to provide spiritual oversight of their families and of the doctrine of our church. It's a functional difference, nothing more. For all practical purposes, I serve as an elder among a team of elders. We are an elder-led church.

But here is the problem. Most churches use 1 Timothy 3 as a kind of winnowing fork, separating out the wheat from the chaff. The wheat is exalted to the high place of elder or deacon. The wheat is given a position of power and control. The chaff is discarded like spiritual refuse. The Pharisees were guilty of a spiritual elitism that denied men grace and an opportunity for growth. Many churches are guilty of the same.

An elder must have many desirable attributes.

When we read 1 Timothy 3:1-7 we see that elders must possess many desirable attributes. An elder must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, and not a lover of money. He must not be a recent convert and he must have a good reputation with outsiders.

But when we read 1 Timothy 2 we sense how utterly unqualified Paul must have been to ever be considered an elder in many of our churches today! In 1 Timothy 1:13 (NIV) Paul tells us that he was, "once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man."

In addition, we don't know that he was married, or if he had any children. I doubt that the Christians Paul once persecuted felt he was temperate, self-controlled, or respectable. I doubt that they felt he was hospitable as he dragged mothers and fathers from their homes to be thrown in prison. He was certainly violent and not gentle. He was definitely quarrelsome. Paul probably didn't have that great of a reputation with outsiders. He definitely fell into Satan's trap for a season of his life.

But the grace of our Lord was poured out on Paul abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. He was appointed to God's service as an apostle! God made Paul, the chief of sinners, a spectacle of his unlimited patience and mercy.

Most churches would never give a man like Paul a second chance. They would quote a passage like 1 Timothy 3 to remind Paul that he is chaff, that he is a failure, and that he could never be used mightily of God. The same spiritual elitism exists today in the Church. On the one hand, we celebrate God's grace, but then we disbelieve that same grace has the power to elevate a man above his sordid past.

Is 1 Timothy 3 an invitation to all men to become better men?

What if 1 Timothy 3 is an invitation to all men to, by the grace of God, become better men? Let's think about this. There isn't a single attribute in 1 Timothy 3 that cannot be cultivated in a man. I'm not saying it's easy. I'm just saying that it's possible. With man, few things seem impossible, but with God, all things are possible. Do we believe in grace? Does our attitude about leadership reflect our belief in the power of grace?

As an example, let's consider divorce. 1 Timothy 3:2 (NIV) says, "Now an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife." I've heard scholars interpret that to mean an elder cannot be divorced. But that isn't what that verse says. In the Greek it says he must be a "one-woman man." In other words, he must exhibit single-minded devotion, and complete faithfulness; a spiritual oneness or union to his wife. The spiritual elitist says, "One slip and you're out. You're chaff!" But what does the grace of God teach us?

Paul was once a murderer, but his murderous, violent mentality was transformed by the grace of God. He became temperate, self-controlled, respectable, and gentle. The spiritual elitist is a hypocrite when he suggests that there is hope for a murderer to be appointed to God's service, but that there's no hope for a man who has been divorced. No, all the attributes we see in 1 Timothy 3 can be cultivated in any man by the grace of God, through faith, and through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Look what God's grace can do!

Here is my problem with 1 Timothy 3. These verses aren't a club with which we are to beat men down, separating the wheat from the chaff. These verses are an invitation to all men to become better men! When a man is appointed an elder, it's to showcase the glory of God's grace in his life. It's to announce, "Look what God's grace can do!"

Many churches appoint a man as elder because he gives the most money, runs a business, or is old. Sometimes a man is appointed an elder because he has bullied everyone into submission, has the loudest voice, is overly critical or legalistic, or has a Bible college degree.

But the greatest qualification for elder is a man whose been transformed by God's grace. He was once a drunk, but is now sober. He was once divorced, but has reconciled his family. He was one ignorant, but now capably teaches God's word. He was once violent, but is now gentle. He was once quarrelsome, but is now a peacemaker. He was once a lover of money, but now is a lover of God. His family was once a disaster, but now his children love, obey, and respect him. He was once arrogant and conceited, but now he exemplifies humility. He was once a disgrace to the name of Jesus, but now he is of good reputation with outsiders.

Spiritual elitism stifles the Jesus movement. It's why Paul goes after spiritual elitists in 1 Timothy 1:7 (NIV) when he says, "They want to be teachers of the law, but they do not know what they are talking about or what they so confidently affirm."

Now don't misunderstand. We shouldn't rush men into eldership. In 1 Timothy 3:10 (NIV) when referring to deacons, Paul says, "They must first be tested; and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons." We are very slow to appoint leaders at Lakeside. We want men who have run a marathon in God's grace, not a 50 yard dash.

Why does eldership matter?

Now let me illustrate why eldership matters, and how God uses godly elders to cultivate better men.

Timothy, to whom 1 Timothy and 2 Timothy is written, was a young man. In every way, Timothy was a typical male. He was struggling to find his true identity. In 2 Timothy 1:5 we discover that two of the greatest influences in Timothy's life were his grandmother Lois and his mother Eunice. We don't know anything about his biological father. He's absent.

Now we can speculate all day long about what happened to Timothy's father. Maybe he died. Maybe he was a bum. The bottom line is that Timothy experienced a father-void in his life, and despite the heroics of his mother and grandmother, Timothy was a timid man. This is why Paul tells him in 2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV), "God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and self-discipline."

It's a tragic thing that happens with young men like Timothy. There are some things a young man just cannot receive from his mother or grandmother. A young man's identity, his confidence, comes from his father. But what if a young man's father is absent? Or what if his father is weak, unspiritual, physically absent, or emotionally distant?

When a young man isn't given a compelling identity by his father, he goes off searching for an identity. Some search for that identity by becoming effeminate, like their mother or grandmother. Some try to establish their manhood through promiscuity, anger, or violence. But most men just opt to live small lives. They waste their lives on video games, pornography, trivia, drunkenness, and orgies. I'm just saying what the Bible describes. Many men just sort of cave into themselves, never learning to project anything good or noble.

Many men have never found their identity.

There are a lot of grown men who've never found their identity. It's because their fathers, and their father's fathers never found their identity either. It's a sad thing for a man not to have a sense of identity. Most men have never heard their father say, "This is my son, whom I love, with you I am well-pleased." Jesus heard these words from his heavenly Father, but most men never hear these words. And when men finally hear these words, they disbelieve them!

Men without an identity need a lot of reassurance externally. This is because they don't have confidence, and they don't have a sense of calling or identity. Timothy is an example of this. In 2 Timothy Paul goes to great pains to give Timothy reassurance. In 1 Timothy 1:2 (NIV) Paul calls him, "my true son" In 2 Timothy 1:2 (NIV) he calls him, "my dear son."

In 2 Timothy 1:4 (NIV) Paul says, "Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy." In 2 Timothy 1:6 (NIV) Paul reminds him to, "...fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands." In 2 Timothy 1:8 (NIV) Paul says, "So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner."

Paul goes on and on in these letters, reassuring Timothy with several different statements. "Guard what I have entrusted to you. Be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace."

In 1 Timothy 1:3 (NIV) Paul says, "...stay there in Ephesus so that you may command certain men not to teach false doctrines any longer..." In 1 Timothy 4:12 (NIV) Paul says, "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."

How does a young man set a good example?

As a young man, how do you set an example when there are so few men to look up to? Most men today take their cue from culture. They put their finger into the air to see which direction the wind is blowing. They do what's popular, what's easy, or what doesn't require courage or sacrifice. Men these days don't know how to lead other men, their sons or daughters, their own wives, or Christ's Church. And it's because they've never been led themselves!

I think we'd all agree that we need better men. Women nag a man who doesn't show initiative. Nagging isn't a sign of disrespectful wife. It's often a sign of a weak man who isn't projecting anything good, noble, or courageous.

But Timothy became a courageous man. He became a courageous man because Paul had the courage to become his spiritual father.

First, Paul adopted Timothy as his true son in the faith.

Sometime, read through 1 Timothy and 2 Timothy and circle all the times Paul calls Timothy, "my son." Every man needs to know that he's not standing alone. In the Church, men should stand shoulder to shoulder with one another. If a man is weak, the strong should come alongside him.

Second, Paul loved Timothy as his true son.

As men, we need to say what all men need to hear, but rarely do. We need to take our cue from God the Father, who upon seeing his one and only Son baptized, spoke from heaven, "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased." See John 3:22 (NIV).

A lot of men feel weird telling another man, "I love you." Men feel strange about hugging another man. There is this unspoken man-code where you have to add "man" to any potentially gay sentence. "I love you, man." "I'm proud of you, man." Why can't we love one another? Why do we have to be afraid to say it, man?

Third, Paul mentored Timothy.

Paul really mentored Timothy. Paul laid his hands on Timothy's shoulders, and called out the good he saw. He encouraged Timothy to fan his gifts into full flame. He paid close attention to Timothy's life and ministry.

Paul spoke words of grace and affirmation, but he would also kick Timothy in the butt and tell him, "Be courageous! You stand! You be strong. You set an example! You command certain men to shut their mouths. You defend the truth. You devote yourself to reading scripture publicly, and to preaching and teaching. Do not neglect your gift. Be diligent. Persevere. Flee evil. Pursue godliness. Show respect for older men."

The Church doesn't need more spiritual elitists. Elitism doesn't inspire. It doesn't invite. It divides. It excludes. If you're a spiritual elitist, and you think you are superior to every man around you, please leave. Go be an ascetic monk out in the desert, where you can harm no one else but your legalistic self. Leave before you destroy the grace of God in someone's life. Or, stay, and be taught by God's grace.

At Lakeside, we aren't looking for elders and deacons, per se. We are looking for spiritual fathers who will invest themselves deeply in the young Timothys and emerging Pauls in our midst.