This past week I was reading about a charity in Georgia that is under investigation. The ministry receives over twenty million dollars in donations and distributes discounted groceries to the poor and needy through churches in 35 states. In 2005 the co-founders, a husband and wife, each paid themselves a salary of around $70,000 and they paid each of their sons around $90,000 apiece. Quite a family business!
In 2006, however, the husband paid himselfa half-million dollar salary and he paid his wife over half a million dollars. And they paid one son over half a million dollars! And they paid their other son just under a half-million dollars. The couple also owes the charity around one million dollars. They've taken out in loans.
Jesus commands us to love one another.
It’s hard to reconcile such stories with the words of Jesus. In John 13:34-35 (NIV) Jesus says, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
If ever there were a verse defining the DNA of a Christ-follower, this wouldbe one.Romans 13:8 (NIV) says that, "...he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law." Were Jesus never to have ascended to the right hand of God, his gravestone would have read, "He loved." As Christians, we are to exude the love of Christ. Yet what the world most often sees is little more than a reflection of itself.
At the end of your life, which phrase will best capture the essence of your life? Will it be, "He loved" or "She loved"? Or will it be something else? "He was concerned about himself". Or "She was concerned about herself."
Yes, we should love Jesus Christ byeducating ourselves on his every word and by exalting his name in worship. Yes, we should love God’s Holy Spirit by seeking his empowering presence in our lives and by offering excellence in everything. Yes, we should love our families by encouraging one another in Christ. Yes, we should love our church by unleashing generosity (equipping).
But our love must go much further. It’s good to love your girlfriend, your spouse, your children, and those close to you. It’s good to love your church family. But our love must take that additional step and transcend our individual households and transcend these four church walls. Otherwise, little more will be said of us than, "He was concerned for himself" or "She was concerned for herself."
What are the things we are most concerned about?
It isn’t pretty, but let’s take a moment to talk about human nature. Let's talk about our default setting as human beings. Let’s make a list of the things we spend most of our time being concerned about.
Let’s begin with the most obvious and most important. There’s your next breath of air, your next drink of water, your next meal, getting sleep, and even going to the bathroom. A few years ago tornados ripped through our town, leaving many families homeless. The Red Cross used the Methodist center next door to help these families. The people who showed up were exhausted, hungry, and thirsty. In their distress, they were growing increasingly impatient and demanding (selfish).
Here is something we should know about ourselves. The more hungry, thirsty, or exhausted we become, the more difficult it is totolerate other people, much lesslove them. When you are hungry, thirsty, or tired, you will walk by people in needwithout even thinking about it. If pushed far enough, you would fight for food and you would kill for your next breath of air. I’ve heard that the cravings of a drug user can become so intense that the only thing that he wants more than that drug or drink ishis next breath of air.
Are you aware how your physical cravings affect your concern for others? Incidentally, our sexual desires fit into this category. Have you noticed how difficult it is to be considerate when filled with desire? Godliness and love go hand in hand with self-control. In order to love, these things have to come under the control of God’s Holy Spirit. This is a plain and simple fact.
Beyond this, we continually think about our personal security. How will I pay the mortgage and bills? How can I keep my family safe from danger? How can I stay healthy? How can I keep my job in this troubled economy and avoid more debt? How can I better prepare for retirement? Perhaps you have thought, "Why should I worry about anyone or anything else when I cannot even take care of my own needs?" This is a moment for reflection. To what extent should these sorts of needs exempt you from loving other people?
Our desire to be accepted is sometimes an impediment to loving others.
Here is another impediment to loving others. Sometimes our desire to be accepted by our spouses, our children, or our peers keeps us from loving others. Sometimes we don’t love others because we want to please our spouse, please our kids, please our friends,please our boss, or whoever. What does the Bible warn? In 1 Corinthians 7:34 (NIV) we are warned, "...a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world--- how she can please her husband." The Bible says the same thing about husbands. We want to please our wives. Parents, you want to please your kids. And how often do we cave into peer pressure at school or work, not wanting to disappoint people?
I know there are extremes, but can you say "no" to your husband or wife in order to do something great for God? Can you say "no" to your children’s demands in order to model for them the priority of loving and serving others? Parents, that's how you teach your children character! Can you tell your friends "no" or can you tell your boss "no" in order to have time to serve others?
Take a moment and reflect. Are you so busy running on the treadmill of everyone’s expectations that you find yourself too exhausted ortoo preoccupied with pleasing your family to serve others? To what extent should your love for family exempt you from loving others? This is not an easy question.
We have a need for esteem.
The natural cravings of our bodies, our concern for our health and well-being, and our concern for pleasing people--- let's go a little further and talk about our esteem needs. Are you aware of the extent to which you want to feel appreciated, want to feel valued, and want to be recognized for your accomplishments? Do you realize how deeply you work to be respected by your peers, by your spouse, by your family, and by your friends?
How many times in a given day do you say to yourself, "He didn’t notice. She doesn’t care. Nobody included me. Nobody invited me. I’m alone, with no one to talk to in this crowded room. I don’t stand out. My life doesn’t seem significant. They're laughing at me and teasing me. I wish I had the health, the good looks, the strength, the intelligence, or the charisma of him. I wish I could be more liked."
To what extent does your personal quest for esteem keep you from loving others? This is hard to admit to ourselves, but it is true. More often than not, we are so preoccupied with being loved and being noticed and being appreciated and focusing on our self-esteem that we're completely inconsiderate to others. Love requires that we move beyond ourselves to consider others!
And now let me really tighten the screws. And this may surprise you. Too often, we become so absorbed with a transcendent cause that we become loveless. A transcendent cause is something we’ve given ourselves to that is so important to us that we’ll trample on others,even destroy others,to achieve it.
There's nothing more important than loving others.
Sometimes we think that being right is more important than being loving. Sometimes we think that being moral is more important than being redemptive. Sometimes we think that being successful is more important than being the servant, being available, listening, caring, understanding, praying for others, bearing one another’s burdens, or showing hospitality. To what extent should becoming successful and being professional exempt us from loving others? No cause, no matter how great in our minds, should become an excuse to be unloving.
At some point, love requires that we subject our self-interests to consider the needs of others. It takes nothing to be selfish. It takes nothing to be self-centered. It takes nothing to live for the impulses of the flesh. And even pagans find it in themselves to love their wives and families and immediate circle of friends. It takes nothing to put our need for esteem before others. It takes nothing to destroy others on our pathway to personal greatness.
To love is the true mark of being a Christ-follower.
But to love is divine. To love is of God.To love is the true mark of a Christ-follower. To give up and to serve is the essence of godliness!
Romans 13:8 (NIV) says, "...he who loves his fellow man has fulfilled the law." John 13:34-35 (NIV) says, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
Luke 9:23-25 (NIV) says,"Then he said to them all: 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?' "
Luke 9:57-62 (NIV) tells us,"As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, 'I will follow you wherever you go.' Jesus replied, 'Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.' He said to another man, 'Follow me.' But the man replied, 'Lord, first let me go and bury my father.' Jesus said to him, 'Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.' Still another said, 'I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family.' Jesus replied, 'No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.' "
Luke 14:26-27 (NIV) says, "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple."
1 John 3:16-18 (NIV) is the definitive statement about love."This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
What will yoru legacy be? He loved. She loved. Or, he was concerned with himself. She was concerned with herself.