Faithfulness

Many lives are being wrecked because of a lack of faithfulness.

Many lives are being wrecked, and some devastated, because of a lack of faithfulness. Consider the institution of marriage as an example. On "ABC World News" Diane Sawyer began her broadcast by saying, "Not only are more marriages on the rocks these days, so is marriage itself..." She cited a Pew Research study that revealed how 4 of 10 Americans think that marriage is obsolete. The younger a person is, the more obsolete she feels marriage to be.

When they press people about why they feel this way, most talk about the pain they felt as children when their parents divorced. They don't want that pain for themselves or for their children, so this next generation is waiting longer than any other to get married, if they get married at all.

What are we to make of this? Why are couples giving up on the dream of marriage? Why do they avoid making the traditional vow, "....until death do us part"? Is the biblical call to faithfulness becoming obsolete? Is faithfulness something we should still even talk about?

This week Brad is taking a well-deserved vacation. Before he left, we were talking about this next generation. Some are calling this next generation the fatherless generation. When I was growing up, my Dad worked in a factory. He would get up at 6 am every day, and most days wouldn't return until 7:30 pm at night. He worked every day, and for a long time he worked on weekends also.

It was a special treat, and the exception, if my dad showed up at one of my basketball games, track meets, or football games. He was "present", but not always "available."

Contrast that with this next generation! Dad is neither present, available, or even providing! In many cases, dad is completely unknown. Dad is a distant acquaintance at best. He has stepped away from mom, the family, and his responsibilities, and has completely checked out! So what are we to make of these trends? Marriage is becoming obsolete. A fatherless generation is growing up right under our noses.

Should we be surprised by the crisis of homosexuality?

Should we be surprised by the crisis of homosexuality? NBC just announced a new sitcom called "The New Normal." The new normal is a gay couple hiring a surrogate to carry a child for them. How scary is that? Homosexuality is not primarily a sexual problem. In reality, it's a crisis of fatherlessness. Always ask a homosexual man about his father-- there are exceptions-- but almost always that is where the pain began. There was a breakdown in the family. Dad wasn't present physically, emotionally, or spiritually. Dad wasn't there to protect the child from danger.

The problem is much larger than marriage and fatherless families. Pastors decry the fickleness of church shoppers who skip from church to church, never becoming a vital part of the body of the church. Entire denominations are experiencing record declines. Are churches better off without faithful members, without participation, giving, servants, proclamation, doctrine, or witness?

Entire states, even cities are spiraling into debt. They are unable to pay vendor contracts or honor the pensions and healthcare needs of workers.

Employers are abandoning their workforces and shipping jobs overseas. The company that employed my dad for decades moved its factory to Mexico. No more job, no more benefits, and no more retirement.

Employees constantly change jobs. As soon as a business trains someone, often at great expense, the employee skips off to greener pastures, sometimes to even work for a competitor.

Pastor Jack Hayford is absolutely right. He observes, "Even society outside the Church recognizes the need for faithfulness. Banks lend money anticipating the faithfulness of the payer to make the monthly payments. Children anticipate the faithfulness of their parent(s) to provide food, clothing and lodging for them. Governments anticipate the faithfulness of foreign powers in maintaining treaties. Where there is a lack of faithfulness, there is confusion and chaos."

But here is the idiocy of it all. The cure for the pain of faithlessness seems to be more faithlessness! Don't marry. Don't raise the bar for fathers, for government, for employers, employees, churchgoers, or banks. Let's give up on trust altogether. Let's normalize unfaithfulness, subsidize disloyalty, and bail out the irresponsible.

Are we better without faithfulness? Is it obsolete? You don't have to keep your word. Just lie! You don't have to honor your debts, keep your wife, raise your kids, uphold that contract, honor that guarantee, or keep your promises. We even kind of pride ourselves in being tolerant of unfaithfulness!

God's people have been unfaithful to God.

If there is one complaint that echoes throughout scripture, it's that God's people have been unfaithful. Israel was unfaithful to God, and paid for it dearly. In Psalm 12:1 (NIV) David says, "Help, Lord, for the godly are no more; the faithful have vanished from among men!" Proverbs 20:6 (NIV) laments, "Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?" In Jeremiah 3:20 (NIV) God laments, "But like a woman unfaithful to her husband, so you have been unfaithful to me, O house of Israel." In Luke 18:1 (NIV) Jesus asks, "...when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?" Faithful men and women are a vanishing breed, in danger of extinction!

I want us to understand what drives unfaithfulness. In 2 Timothy 3:1-5 (NIV) the apostle Paul describes the spirit of people at the end of the age. "But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God-- having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them."

At the core of faithlessness is a drive to love ourselves at the expense of others.

I gain at your expense. When selfish gain is your guiding ethic, it creates a trail of destruction in your wake. The faithless person wants to know one thing, and one thing only. "What's in it for me? How will it advance my interests? Will this cost me anything?" If the costs outweigh the apparent rewards, the self-centered person hits the eject button.

A mother realizes that her whole life will now evolve around a crying baby. Eject. A father realizes his family is depending upon him to provide. Eject.

Look at Paul's list in 1 Timothy 3! A person who loves himself will chase the mighty dollar at great expense to relationships, and his own integrity. He will boast about self and disregard other people who may have contributed to his success. He has an inflated sense of pride about his own importance and ambitions. He shows a total disregard for the needs of others (even his wife or children). He shows no regard for the thoughts, feelings, security, development, purity, holiness, future, or others. He becomes abusive. Instead of being grateful, he is ungrateful. He shows contempt for and is disobedient to his parents. When he doesn't get what he wants, he becomes unforgiving, slanderous, treacherous, rash, conceited, and brutal. He lacks self-control.

The more you love yourself the more rash, changeable, and impulsive you become. You want to keep your options open. And you think to yourself, "Maybe I could have a better wife, a better family, a better job, or a better life." If you love yourself, you covet and lust continually, and you are incurably discontented. Faithfulness is your enemy because it might make you miss out on something better. The problem is that self-love always leaves a trail of destruction in its wake. Anger, hate, violence, war, corruption, adultery, infidelity, divorce, fatherlessness, economic ruin, and a dying/powerless church.

The other cause of faithlessness is this drive to love ourselves at the expense of God.

In 1 Timothy 3 Paul simply observes how people will be lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God. When we sin, we're putting our pleasures first. We're hungry, we're thirsty, we're lonely, we're bored, we're weak, we're aroused, we're tempted, we're tested, we're in pain, we're disappointed, or we're impatient.

When pleasure is your goal, you will sell out other people. You will even sell out God. The bad news here is when you sell out others, no one can have a relationship with you. Not even God!

The whole basis for any relationship is trust, dependability, faithfulness, follow through, love of others, love of God, self-sacrifice, generosity, looking to the interests of others and not only to self. To the degree that we are faithless, our relationships begin to self-destruct.

But here is the good news. It's never too late to change. There are a few things you need to know.

God is faithful.

2 Timothy 2:13 (NIV) tells us how God, "will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself." 1 Corinthians 1:9 (NIV) says, "God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful." 1 Kings 8:56 (NIV) says, "Praise be to the Lord, who has given rest to his people Israel just as he promised. Not one word has failed of all the good promises he gave through his servant Moses."

We get pretty angry about all the ways people have hurt us and disappointed us in life. We get pretty discouraged thinking about the pain we've caused others because of our sin, or even the pain that we have caused God. But have you ever considered praising God for his perfect faithfulness? God never disappoints!

Psalm 136:1-26 (NIV) carries on and on about God. "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever. Give thanks to the God of gods. His love endures forever. Give thanks to the Lord of lords: who by his understanding made the heavens, who spread out the earth upon the waters, who made the great lights-- the sun to govern the day, the moon and stars to govern the night; to him who struck down the firstborn of Egypt and brought Israel out from among them with a mighty hand and outstretched arm; to him who divided the Red Sea asunder and brought Israel through the midst of it, but swept Pharoah and his army into the Red Sea; to him who led his people through the desert, who struck down great kings, and killed mighty kings-- Sihon king of the Amorites and Og king of Bashan-- and gave their land as an inheritance, an inheritance to his servant Israel; to the One who remembered us in our low estate and freed us from our enemies, and who gives good to every creature. Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever."

We can go on and on about how people love themselves, how people love pleasure, how people have hurt us, and how we have hurt others. Or we can go on and on about how God loves us, and how his love endures forever. One will demoralize us. The other will inspire us. In Psalm 40:10 (NIV) David says, "I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and salvation. I do not conceal your love and your truth from the great assembly."

Every day the unfaithfulness of men makes the headlines. But this morning, God's faithfulness should be the headline. His love endures forever. He is faithful. That is his character. But there is something else you should know.

We can take on the very character of God.

Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control..." All of these words describe the character of God.

If you have been unfaithful, can you think of anything greater than taking on the very character of God? Can you think of anything greater than his love becoming our love? Than the joy of the Lord becoming our strength? His peace becoming our peace? His patience becoming our patience? Christ's kindness becoming our kindness? His goodness becoming our goodness? His faithfulness becoming our faithfulness?

In Christ, we've been forgiven all our sin. That is, we've been forgiven of our love for self at the expense of others, and our love of pleasure at the expense of God. But we've also been given the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit sanctifies us. He produces God's very character in us-- his love, his joy, his peace, his patience, his kindness, and his goodness.

The fruit originate not in who we are, but in who God is. Our job, as Galatians 5:25 (NIV) commands is to, "...keep in step with the Spirit." The Spirit is the one who makes the change in us. The Spirit refines, purifies, and sanctifies us. But we must say "Yes!" Yes to loving God. Yes to loving others.

1 John 1:9 (NIV) promises, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

I suspect you feel the need to be forgiven, and a need be purified.