How do we love other Christians?
I appreciate the invitation to "parachute" into this summer series of messages titled "Love: Plain and Simple." I am not accustomed to skydiving or parachuting, but I know enough about such thrilling adventures that you want to be sure that your parachute is properly packed, that you pull the rip cord at the right time, and that you land in the right place and in the right way. That is a lot to think about if you are overwhelmed by a new experience. When it comes to preaching, I've been doing that for 45 years, so at my age, my greatest challenge is not the preparation, but to be sure that I pull the rip cord at the right time. With this particular message, I want to begin at the 10,000 foot level by gaining an overview, and then try to land somewhere near where you live and work.
If this series has revealed anything, it is that love is not only plain and simple, but also profound and supernatural. The place to begin is to learn the language of love from the greatest lover the world has ever known. The lesson we will learn in an image-driven culture is that love is not primarily about words, but is about actions, images, and symbols that demonstrate true love. That was the focus of James Emery White's "Church and Culture" blog for Father's Day this week entitled "What Is a Good Father?" He began his list by saying, "...a good father is one who knows that children have only one love language – time." He concluded by saying, "...a good father is one who, most of all, loved you so much he would have laid down his life for yours in a heartbeat." That thought brings me to our text.
Jesus loved his disciples to the end.
John 13 begins with this statement about Jesus' love for his disciples. John 13:1 (ESV) tells us, "Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end."
There in the upper room, before his arrest and crucifixion, what does Jesus do? Does he tell them how much he loves them? Does he preach eloquently about love? No, he shows them his love-- the full extent of his love. Jesus doesn't define love as different from the world's love. He doesn't describe love in great detail. He demonstrates his love and devotion by washing his disciples' feet. Washing their feet was not merely a cleansing act of servanthood, it was also a microcosmic picture of what he was about to accomplish for our ultimate cleansing, dying on a cross. What powerful symbols! What plain and simple, profound and supernatural images of love-- a wet, soiled servant's towel and a bloody brutal cross.
There in the upper room, Jesus reminds his disciples and us that we are under obligation to follow his example, as recorded in John 13:34 (ESV). "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another." This is just one of the 16 times in the New Testament (John 13:34-35; John 15:12; John 17; Romans 12:10; Romans 13:8; 1 Thessalonians 3:12; 1 Thessalonians 4:9; 1 John 3:23; 1 John 4:7; 2 Thessalonians 1:3; 1 Peter 1:22; 1 Peter 4:8; 1 John 3:11; 1 John 4:11-12; 2 John 5) that we are told to love one another.
In John 13:35 (ESV) Jesus says that we are also under observation. "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
I still remember reading Francis Schaeffer's classic novel, "The Mark of the Christian", as a seminary student 40 years ago. In it, I was first introduced to the phrase, "the final apologetic." He reminds us of something we all know but so often forget. He says, "We are to practice and exhibit the holiness of God and the love of God, for without this we grieve the Holy Spirit. Love-- and the unity it attests to-- is the mark Christ gave to Christians to wear before the world."
Schaeffer proposes that this love is often demonstrated in times of, "tremendous emotional tension" (such as the times in which we are living) and he observes sadly that the world, "has not seen the beginning of what Jesus indicates is the final apologetic." Think about the powerful testimony of a well-lived life of observable love! It is that powerful image that our world is still waiting to see.
The question before us today is, "How do we show love for one another?" The answer? In the same way that Jesus showed love for us. As Paul expressed it in the theme text for these messages-- we are to love other Christians as Christ loved the Church.
By acknowledging another person who needs love.
Have you ever pondered what would be the opposite of John 3:16 (ESV)? It says, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." The opposite would not be that God so hated the world that he would seek to do harm, harbor bitter feelings, and act in hostile ways. The opposite would be that God would do nothing. Simply ignoring our need would be an act of not loving us. That is consistent with Jesus' story of the Good Samaritan, in which he teaches that to ignore one who needs love (intentionally or unintentionally) is to fail the test of love.
Greville Lewis made an accurate observation about human nature when he said, "It is easier to be enthusiastic about Humanity with a capital "H" than to love individual men and women, especially the uninteresting, the exasperating, the depraved, and the otherwise unattractive. Loving everybody in general may be an excuse for loving nobody in particular."
Charles Schulz captured that sentiment in a "Peanuts" cartoon where Linus announces to Lucy, "I want to be a doctor." She retorts, "You can't be a doctor; you don't love mankind!" To which Linus responds, "I do too love mankind; it's people I can't stand!" It is equally foolish for Christians to say, "I love Jesus; it's the Church I can't stand." Since the Church is the body of Christ, you can't love Jesus without loving his Church.
Jesus loved by acknowledging individual persons who needed love. That is where love begins for us, with a family member, a friend, a fellow Christian, a neighbor next door, or someone in need down the street or halfway around the world. To love like Jesus loved is to acknowledge that someone needs love.
By approaching another person with attentive listening.
If it is someone you do not know, it is difficult to love someone in tangible ways. How did Jesus get to know people? He entered their world and learned about their needs by listening. He asked questions and really listened to the answers.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer in his classic book titled "Life Together" suggests that the first service we owe others in the fellowship is to listen to them. He says, "Just as love to God begins with listening to his word, so the beginning of love for the brethren is learning to listen to them. It's God's love for us that he not only gives us his word, the Bible, but also lends us his ear. So it is his work we do for a brother when we learn to listen to him."
The truth is that people are looking for a listening ear, but the tragedy is that they don't often find one among Christians. Why is it that we have overlooked the words of James 1:19 (ESV)? "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger."
How can we agree with one another, admonish one another, and be members of one another if we do not listen? How can we be of the same mind with one another, build one another up, care for one another, comfort one another, confess to one another, and carry one another's burdens if we do not actively listen? How can we encourage one another, exhort one another, forbear with one another, and forgive one another if we do not learn to engage in empathetic listening to one another? To love like Jesus is to approach one another with attentive listening.
By accepting another person as he/she is.
Some of us have grown up in homes and churches where acceptance depended on what one did or did not do. There was a laundry list of dos and don'ts. For me it was, "I don't smoke and I don't chew and I won't date any girls that do." From my limited experience, most of our lists are not all that biblical.
James Dobson of Focus on the Family has rightly observed in his book, "Hide or Seek", "Human worth in our society is carefully reserved for those who meet rigid specifications. Beautiful people are born with it; those highly intelligent are likely to find approval; superstar athletes are usually respected. But no one is considered valuable just because he is. Acceptability is awarded carefully, making certain to exclude those who are unqualified."
What about us who lack the beauty, brains, or bucks to be acceptable in our society? God says that through belief in his son, no one is unqualified. All can be accepted. As Paul says in Romans 15:7 (ESV), "Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God." But don't overlook the truth of that statement-- welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you. How did Christ welcome you? Yes, as you were, but with the expectation that you will follow him, trust him, and obey him to become what you are not yet through the transforming power of his grace and the life-changing work of the Holy Spirit. Christ does not welcome any of us and allow us to stay as we are. He messes with our morals and our marriages, our rights and our relationships, our choices and our circumstances, in order to make us different, to make us holy and righteous, and to change us into greater Christ-likeness. To love like Jesus is to accept one another as Christ accepted us.
By affirming another person's worth with positive action.
We affirm the worth of one another not by saying "I love you" but by showing love. Love is something you do. Someone has estimated that a person needs ten tangible touches every day to feel loved. Love can be shown in a thousand different ways-- in the way we think toward each other, in the way we talk to and about each other, and in the way we treat each other-- kind words, encouraging smiles, supportive gestures, and acts of kindness or concern.
Virginia Arnold, who lives in Springfield, Missouri, tells of the time as a young wife settling into their first home she wanted to do everything possible to please her husband. He was painting the carport. As she opened the door, she knocked over the can of white paint, spilling it on the concrete floor. Her exasperated husband expressed his frustration as he started to clean up the mess. She went back in the house in tears. Sometime later when he finished the job, she went out to the carport to discover that he had turned that blotch of spilled paint into a huge white heart, and on that he painted the words, "The heart of this home will always be my darling wife, Virginia." For most of the 57 years they were married they lived in that home, and every once in a while he would touch it up with fresh paint. What a plain and simple way to show "I love you!"
In the same way, the Church moves beyond the Golden Rule which is, "Do to others as you would have them do to you". The Church moves beyond the Platinum Rule which is, "Do to others as they would have you do to them." The Church should move toward what Leonard Sweet calls the Titanium Rule. "Do to others as Christ has done to you." How did Christ love us? In deeds, not words. Love is not a noun, but a verb. That is why John wrote in 1 John 3:18 (ESV), "Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth." To love like Jesus is to affirm one another's worth with positive action.
The world is watching to see us love like Christ loved us.
Christ loved us by acknowledging that we needed love. He approached us on our turf and in our world. Christ accepted us as we were, with the expectation that we can and will become all that God created us to be. He affirmed our worth with positive action. That love took him to the cross, the greatest demonstration of love the world has ever seen. Our watching world is waiting to see such a demonstration of love again. Who knows how the world would be different and how God's kingdom would be advanced if millions of professing Christians were visibly testifying to him through well-lived lives of observable love?
1 John 4:7-12 (ESV) says, "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us."