It was a typical summer afternoon. Our whole family had been shopping at the grocery story. There was mom and dad, my brothers Chris and Mike, my sister Deanna, and myself. I don't suppose it was too much fun to take four kids grocery shopping, but that's what our family always did. I'd bought a bag of candy, and bubble gum... not for sharing but for myself! Then, we all piled into our station wagon and headed home.
Dee always managed to wedge herself between mom and dad in the front seat. Chris and Mike took the middle section. And not wanting to be stuck between two antagonizers, I hopped into the far back of the station wagon with the bags of groceries. That day I was wearing my favorite superman pajama top. I literally wore it everywhere.
Even to this day, it's still a blur. In a split second, I remember mom screaming, "Danny." I remember seeing the bright light on the front of the locomotive, as it barreled down the tracks. I remember the firemen, the ride to the hospital in the ambulance, and the wail of the sirens. I remember dad being rushed through the emergency room on a gurney, and for what seemed like an eternal second, him looking over at me just long enough to moan "sorry son." I remember the x-ray room--where they cut off my favorite superman t-shirt, and jeans, even my underwear!
A neighbor happened to be following us the day of our accident. He had jumped out of his car and started snapping pictures when suddenly he recognized it was the Morrissette family! The impact crushed the bones in my Dad's chest. My mom broke her back and was hospitalized for months. Rehabilitation took years. My sister lay helplessly in a coma for a week. Chris broke his arm, I broke my collarbone, and ... do you see that boy walking around ... that's my brother Mike. He wasn't injured. Punk! My dad was covered in eggs and glass. When he felt the eggs on the back of his head, he thought his brains were exposed.
Sometime later I woke up in a room, all alone. Another neighbor (whom we affectionately called Big John) came into my room explained what had happened, and how our whole family was almost killed that day. Now, my way of coping with the news was I asked Big John whether my bag of candy had also survived the crash. The next day he went to junk yard to find my candy! But the candy would be little comfort.
Throughout my life I've always been accused of being a bit more "serious minded." As a youngster I'd often think to myself, "I AM SUPERMAN." I'd put on a football jersey and think, "I'M MIKE SINGLETARY." Once my parents bought me a huffy bike. I rode it everywhere, jumping curbs, riding the bike trails. Then one day I wanted to test my invincibility, and how well the pads would protect me, so I rode it off a tall concrete ledge. After spending a few days nursing heavy bruises, I concluded I wasn't so invincible after all (or bright).
All of us, at times, feed these illusions of our own invincibility. There are the moments when we say, "I AM. . ." "I am young. I am strong. I am smart. I am immune. I am healthy. I am loved, protected, safe, cared for, invulnerable." Well the train accident changed all that for me. I wasn't invincible.
Something that eventually happens to us all, is we wake up to reality. Our core beliefs get tested. That self-assured "I AM" gives way to a less confident, "AM I?" For me, that timeline came early in life. For others, it comes later. For some, it doesn't come soon enough and life is cut short.
But inevitably reality shatters our illusions of invincibility. We have one of those train-wreck moments when the veil is lifted, and we realize how completely vulnerable we are. Instead of announcing "I AM" suddenly we're asking, "AM I loved? AM I protected? AM I safe? AM I okay?" Sometimes these questions take a spiritual overtone, "Does God exist? Does God see me? Will God deliver me? Does God care? Is God even good? Is he powerful? AM I forgivable? Am I forgiven? AM I saved? Can I change?"
In his book, Ruthless Trust, Brennan Manning tells of one snowy night when he was six years old, his father returned home from a hard day of job-hunting and asked his mother how the boys had behaved. Pointing to his brother, Rob (fifteen months older than Brennan), she said, "He's incorrigible. I want you to march him down to the police station right now. Tell the cops to put him in jail and leave him there.
Brennan writes, "my father did just that. I knelt on the broad windowsill with my nose pressed against the glass, hoping against hope that my brother would return. Half an hour later, my father came walking up the street alone. The terror of rejection and abandonment gripped my heart. Tears rolled down my cheeks. Trembling, I realized that there was no one to protect me. I was utterly alone. I knew that I would be next."
"Then I saw Rob about thirty yards behind my father. He was making a snowball. The inner panic subsided a bit, though I was still scared and shaken. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I climbed down from the sill, assumed the macho position of a little-boys-don't-cry six-year-old, and pretended disinterest in a traumatic event that haunted me for years."
We all have such moments. That was Brenna's moment. His reality check. There was a time after the train accident when I expressed my fears to my mom. "Mom, what if you and dad we're taken from us? What if Deanna hadn't awakened from her coma? What if I died? Why didn't any of us die? Why have others died in train wrecks?" My mom's steadfast belief was that God had provided an angel to protect our family.
For me, it was a faith crisis, her answer startled me, and mystified me. It became the start of a journey of exploring "WHO IS... Or WHAT IS... this God?"
One of the reasons our stories go really bad in life is when we try to answer WHO IS or WHAT IS apart from God. What if my mom would have said, "I suppose we were lucky." What if she would have given me a physics lesson explaining, "here was the speed of the train, here was the speed of our car, here was the angle of collision. . ."
But instead my mom said, "Jon, we can always trust God no matter the what." That answer changed the whole trajectory of my life. I didn't have her level of faith. But I started to really search: "Well who is this God, and why can we trust him?"
Until our world is turned upside down, I don't know that we really learn to seek out who God is. I shall not wish calamity upon a single person, yet I know it's the fertile soil in which God causes us to grow. That was certainly the case for me!
From God's vantage point... living a better story requires new beliefs. "I Believe. . ."
When our world gets turned upside down, we begin to reassess what we believe. We realize that the same kind of thinking that got you where you are won't get you anywhere different. Old beliefs and assumptions give way to newer beliefs.
All of us, regardless of our stories, need to resolve our beliefs. Take out a blank sheet of paper and taken an inventory of what you believe. For example, write down this statement and think of how you would begin to answer, "God Is ________________?" Everyone believes something about God. What do you believe? What conclusions have you reached?
Second, write down this statement and how you would answer, "The Bible Is ________________? Everyone's beliefs have to be based upon something. Throughout the years my parents, pastors, professors, and people from all walks of life have told me what I should believe about who God is, and what the Bible Is. And it's been helpful. But every single one of us has to sit down and decide for ourselves who/what we shall believe, and in who/what shall we put our trust, and for what reasons...
Personally, I believe the Bible is a reliable and trustworthy account of all God's dealings with mankind since the very beginning. I believe the Bible is the inspired word of God, inspired of his Holy Spirit, unique, authoritative, and binding on my life. I believe the Bible is self-authenticating--that as we trust God's story God shows himself to be true, and his every promise certain.
Third, write down this statement and how you would answer, "Jesus Is ________________? This week Lakeside folks will get into small groups and explore some of the claims Jesus made about himself. For example, Jesus said, "I am the bread of life. I am the light of the world. I am the door. I am the good shepherd. I am the resurrection and the life. I am the way, the truth, and the life. I am the true vine." Throughout his earthly life Jesus continually invited us to put supreme confidence, not who "I AM" or "WE ARE" but in who "JESUS IS!"
Once again, you could download someone's ideas about WHO God is, What the Bible is, and who Jesus is, but Christ's invitation is "Come and see. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened." Trust in me", "Believe on me."
In John 14:1 Jesus, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." In 2 Timothy 1:12 Paul writes, "Of this gospel I was appointed a herald and an apostle and a teacher. That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted him for that day."
Finally, in light of what you know to be true of God, through his word, in the face of Jesus, write down this statement and how you would answer, "I AM __________?
I am shielded, heard, loved, pursued, forgiven, delivered, blessed, restored, guided, protected, raised up, helped, seen, heard, fully known, chosen in Christ, remembered...
More than right beliefs... from God's vantage point... living a better story requires tangible actions.
Let's try something. I would like a few of you to shout out what you have written in regard to each of these statements. (1) GOD IS... what? What is your testimony? (2) The BIBLE IS. . . (3) JESUS IS. . . (4) I AM. . .
It's so very important that we resolve what we believe. But from God's perspective, there is something more important than resolving what we believe. It's tangibly acting on what we belief. It's tangible demonstrating that trust. The Bible says, "Those who trust in the Lord will never be put to shame."
If you want to get at the core of trust, answer this question. "In light of what I know to be true of God, through his word, in the face of Jesus, I WILL. . . {what?}"
The key to living a better story is close the gap between what we say we believe and what we actually do.
- I believe God is merciful, so I will confess my sins, I will turn from evil, I will cry out to him for mercy and forgiveness, I will submit to his baptism.
- I believe God provides, so I will not be anxious, and I trust he'll meet my needs.
- I believe God rewards the righteous, so I will please him although it costs me so much now. I will obey. I will make the holy, unpopular choice, I will stand.
- I believe God is my shield and protection, so I will not fear my enemies.
- I believe Jesus is the resurrection and life, so I trust him in life and in death.