Good morning! Happy Mother’s Day! For some of you, today is joyful, Motherhood is joyful! But for just as many, motherhood is exhausting. Maybe you’re sitting there just trying to catch your breath! You feel overwhelmed trying to hold together your marriage, family schedules, finances, children, the care of aging parents, plus spiritual responsibilities! For still others Mother’s Day is a day of grieving. Maybe your thoughts go to a mother, now passed… motherhood longed for but unrealized… maybe you carry unresolved wounds from a mother who’ll never see or understand your pain.
Early this week, I was searching for a word that might challenge and encourage you. In the interest of full disclosure, today is pretty tough. This morning our church is reeling from the shock, and the very deep specific grief we feel at the tragic passing of one of our dear brothers, Mike Hannah. At times, I find preaching unbearably agonizing. We can’t always paste the word “good” on every morning, or “happy” on every Mother’s Day, or a smile on our face each and every Sunday. We’re gathered here because we need hope and healing (the comfort) that only God can provide. We’ve looked for such comfort within, but our tears tell the truth.
Allow me to begin with a word from the Lord. Psalm 34:18 says, “The LORD is near the brokenhearted; he saves those crushed in spirit.” Isaiah 66:13 says, “As a mother comforts her son, so I will comfort you; you will be comforted in Jerusalem.” More than anything today, I want you to feel God’s presence and comfort. God sees you completely. His grace is for people who don’t have it all together. His grace is for the tired, the grieving, the anxious, the disappointed, the overloaded. I need that grace this morning, and I know you do too…
We’ve been talking about hope and healing for the soul. One way our soul gets in trouble is when we try to carry what only God can carry. We cannot (by an act of the will) love ourselves to health and wholeness. Our soul was designed to abide “fully” in God alone. And when we learn to abide in Christ well, then out of that overflow, we are finally free to love others well. A Key Biblical Principle: The most ancient, life-giving wisdom regarding the care and nurturing of the soul was Moses’ instruction (also echoed by Jesus). First and greatest commandment: “Love the Lord our God with all our heart, all mind, all body, all soul, and strength.” And this commandment can be paired with Jesus’ commandment in John 15 that we “Abide in Christ” for life. What does this look like?
• Well, we learn to abide in Jesus’ love for our sense of value and worth. Taking as the measure of our worth… how wide, how deep, how high, how long is love of God in Christ Jesus as shown on the cross, as shown by Jesus freely giving his life for us!
• We learn to abide in Jesus’ words for our sense of identity, for truth about life, about our soul.
• We learn to abide in Jesus’ commandments for our sense of purpose, meaning, direction.
• We learn to abide in the Father for our sense of family, connection, belonging. In Christ we have been chosen, loved, adopted, predestined, bestowed every spiritual blessing, declared sons and daughters.
• We learn to abide in the Spirit for our strength and energy, to produce God’s honoring fruit within us. We’re not abiding in ourselves… we’re abiding in God to sustain our soul.
It’s a tragic misstep to try to abide in ourselves for life. But it doesn’t stop there. We’re just as apt to make human relationships carry a weight only God can carry. Let’s talk about our love life, or marriage a moment. Maybe you remember that scene in Jerry Maguire where Jerry blurts out, “I love you. You complete me.” Romantic? Yes. But also revealing. What happens when we look to another human being to carry the weight of “completing us” emotionally or spiritually? In the same way, a mother make look at her newborn child and quietly say, “You complete me! You had me a goo-goo ga-ga.” That’s just as enormous a weight for a child to bear as a spouse (or lover).
We cannot over-emphasize this enough! The soul can safely rest in God. For God we muster up all our heart, mind, body, strength. But is it different in human relationships? Human relationships are gifts from God… but people? People are terrible substitutes for God! Just as the soul that tries to abide in itself… so goes the soul that tries to abide in others!
So, the second and next important commandment is “love your neighbor as yourselves.” It does not say, “love your neighbor with all your heart, all your mind, all your strength, all your soul.” Why? There are needs human soul can only derive from God … that our soul cannot derive from created things… least not another human being.
Let’s come back to the idea of abiding. The imagery of abiding is that branch vitally connected to the vine, deriving its sustenance. The branches are totally dependent upon the vine. That vine is Christ. But suppose a husband or wife chose to “abide” in one another for life, identity, meaning? That relationship can so quickly shift from a partnership to a pressure cooker. That other person can become an emotional ATM, from which you make continual withdrawals and few deposits! “Honey I need more from you. More time. More pleasure. More energy. More validation. More gratitude. You need to make me happier. You must complete me. Why can’t you be more like Jesse’s girl?”
Sometimes I listen to love songs. They’re all the same “Babe you are my everything… you complete me… you are my reason for living… you’re my universe… my all in all…” No human being can sustain the weight of being someone else’s god-substitute. Eventually the relationship collapses under weight of pressures and expectations it was never meant to carry.
When Paul was asked about intimacy he says, yes, husbands and wives should lovingly care for one another’s needs. But he adds this tiny little caveat… after a while you should come before God in prayer and worship! Marriage is gift, but not ultimate. Sexual intimacy is a gift, but not ultimate! Your spouse is an amazing companion, but they are not Christ.
What is a line between trying to abide in someone (as if they were God)… and simply loving a person (as a gift from God)? After my dad passed away, I asked my mom how she was doing. She said, “When I was a girl, I gave myself to Jesus. I learned to trust him, and love as my Lord. Later on, Dan came along, I grew to love him, and we had a family. But now Dan is gone… Yes, I am sad and miss him every day, but I am not alone. I remain forever betrothed to Christ. So, I grief as a widow, but not like all widows. I’m not alone. Christ is with me.” That’s not denial. That’s not emotional numbness. That is a soul anchored deeper than earthly loss!
Now what if we applied this same principle to parenting? Becoming a mother or father is one of the most joyous things in all world! God made that baby so cute so you’d think nothing of changing its diaper, and everything else. So let’s go back to our metaphor. God is the vine right? You are the branch… and now here is this child hanging off your branch. That child has your heart wrapped around it. What if the parent stops drawing life from Christ, but begins to abide in that child for identity, worth?
I was reading about the devout Puritans, our beloved forefathers and foremothers who settled our shores. They had all these breath prayers to help them remember to abide in Christ. As they’d kissed their children goodnight (or one another), they’d quietly remind themselves, “I’m kissing a mortal human being goodnight.” These were not cold, unfeeling, loveless people! They didn't love their families less because they saw them as mortal; rather, they were able to love them better because they weren't asking them to be God! Reminding themselves that their child was mortal made every moment more precious, not less. It didn’t make them more cynical or fearful. No, it brought peace to remember every relationship is ultimately a gift entrusted just for a time from God. And one day, every earthly relationship (gift) must finally be given back into God’s hands.
Some mothers live under crushing pressure to create the perfect family. Perfect kids. Perfect schedules. Perfect homes. Perfect spiritual outcomes. Some mothers feel like they are one failed moment away from ruining their children forever. One bad decision. One emotional reaction. One parenting mistake. One more straw. But faithful mothers are not sovereign mothers. You are called to nurture, pray, guide, love, discipline, and model Christ to your child—but to sustain your soul one must abide in Christ with all your heart, mind, body, soul.
In the Kingdom of God, every woman has privilege to nurture, encourage, to pay love forward! In 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8 Paul writes, “Although we could have been a burden as Christ’s apostles, instead we were gentle among you, as a nursing mother nurtures her own children. We cared so much for you that we were pleased to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us.”
Motherhood. Marriage. Loving people. None of these were meant to carry full weight of your soul. Christ alone can do that. When our soul abides in Him—we are finally free: free to love without controlling… to serve without losing yourself… to grieve without despairing… to nurture without fear… to pour yourself out without becoming depleted.
Earlier this week we filmed a testimony of Traci Hannah talking about what it looks like to abide in Christ ALONE. She recorded that testimony not knowing what would happen a few days later. But yesterday Traci read her testimony to her girls. Then she said, “What I’m telling you is just as true today than it was Tuesday.” Traci has experienced tremendous loss in her life (young sister, babies)… and now added to her losses (and ours), Mike’s passing. But she was clear. “Jon this testimony was no miracle of timing. This was God’s providence… Play It. Our prayer is that it helps others find hope and healing in Christ we’ve found.
[PLAY TESTIMONY] [PRAYER] 2 Corinthians 12:9: "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.'"