Patience

Do you have a problem with showing patience?

The fruits of the Spirit include love, joy, peace, and patience. Patience. Now if ever we struggled with something, it would be patience! How many of you would you say that you have a problem with patience?

Last week Lara amd I drove to Florida for the Daytona 400 and the North American Christian Convention. Now when I say Lara and I drove, I mean it! I drove from the driver's seat, while she drove from passenger's seat. She had lots of advice on how to drive through the mountains and through downtown Atlanta, Orlando, and Daytona. We went to some tourist trap (I mean outlet mall) that was the single worst parking lot I've ever been in. Literally thousands of tourists were converging on this one lot. Finding a parking place was a blood-sport. I discovered that patience is something I admire in the driver behind me, but scorn in person ahead of me!

There's a story about a monk who struggled with patience. The more he tried to be patient with the world, the more impatient he became. So he decided that he must get away altogether, in order to learn to be patient. So he built himself a cabin deep in the woods, far from civilization.

Years later, a man was traveling in those woods and met him. The man was amazed to find anyone living so far away from the rest of the world, so he asked the monk why he was there all by himself. The monk said that he was there to learn to be patient. The traveler asked how long he had been there, and the monk replied that he had been there for seven years. Stunned, the traveler asked, "If there is no one around to bother you, how will you know when you are patient?" Annoyed, the monk replied, "Get away from me. I don't have time for you."

Isn't it that how it is with the fruit of Holy Spirit? If I sit in my office writing sermons,I imagine myself to be full of love, joy, peace, and patience. But when we're around people, that's when we discover if we're truly loving, joyful, peaceful, and patient!

The fruits of the Spirit are all relational qualities.

How many of you have gone on a trip recently and discovered that you had a patience problem? How many of you discovered that you had a patience problem just getting the family to church this morning? Ever notice how you worship so much better as a family when everyone drives separately?

Look at this list on the screen. Notice how the fruits of the Spirit are all relational qualities! We don't know if we really have character and morality except when we're around people. People expose "the real us", including our flaws!

Think back to when you were single and got married. Suddenly, you realized that you didn't just marry a personality, you married a real character, and you had to learn patience just to survive! And then you had kids, and those kids became teenagers! They say your children teach you a lot of things. Kids teach you patience, and teenagers teach you endurance!

If you hop around to different churches, you might imagine yourself to be a good Christian who loves God. But how do you know unless you get involved, take on responsibility, serve, get into a group, and allow yourself to be inconvenienced by others? Anyone can make a good impression on a casual acquaintance. But deep relationships test our true character.

Suppose you have a problem with patience. I have no doubt that you could become more patient by learning some basic techniques. For example, you could stop and take deep breaths. You could count to 10. You could take a time out, go for a jog, do yoga, meditate, laugh, or pray the serenity prayer. You could figure out your triggers and avoid stressful situations. For example, Lara's grandparents took back roads so that they could avoid city traffic.

There is a Chinese proverb that says, "One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life." There is great wisdom in using techniques that calm the emotions, refocus the mind, and dissipate adrenaline. But we need more than mere techniques. Our problem runs much deeper.

Impatience can be driven by our emotions. But more often, impatience is driven by beliefs and attitudes we have about our self, other people, and God.

I'm not in control.

One belief or attitude about our self is, "I'm not in control."

This is why we get impatient when waiting for the bill at a restaurant, or when sitting in bumper to bumper traffic. We're not in control! We're being held hostage! We feel trapped!

We get extremely impatient when we're not in control. And this is just as true with our circumstances as it is with people. You want rain, but it's sunny outside. You love your job, but your company is downsizing. You want to stay married, but your spouse wants a divorce. You want to be healthy, but you have chronic pain. You want the American dream, but the bank is foreclosing on your home.

Think what anguish we feel when we're not in control. It doesn't take long for impatience to escalate into resentment, anger, or even violence.

Others matter less.

A second belief or attitude that we hold is that others matter less than we do.

When we're impatient, we tend to see people as interruptions, obstacles, or even as stepping stones to advance our agenda. Some of the best advice I've heard recently is to "walk slowly." A pastor was describing how he got in the habit of rushing around. He prided himself in always being on the move and in getting things done. But one day he found himself on crutches, and everything changed.

He said, "When you hurry, you get where you're going, but you get there alone. When you go slow, you get where you're going, but you get there with a community you've built along the way. I was never nicer than when I was on crutches."

It isn't by accident that patience is the first word Paul uses to describe love in 1 Corinthians 13:4 (NIV). "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast..." Love begins with a posture of patience! Lately I've been taking slow walks through my neighborhood and down to the new Southwind park. I'm trying to teach my dog not to bark at everyone! But it's funny all the people you meet, and all the stories you hear, and all the relationships you build when you walk slowly and make yourself available for conversation.

Patience is all about valuing other people. If you have trouble valuing people, listen to their stories. That person you label a savage, a hack, a jerk, a loser, an idiot, a liberal, a dinosaur, an activist, or an illegal may have assumed you were a savage too. But once you talk, your eyes are opened and you see one another differently. You stop writing them off.

There is no hope.

A belief and attitude we often have about God is that there is no hope.

1 Corinthians 15:19 (NIV) says, "If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men." A lot of impatience is despair in disguise. The more we believe that this life is all there is, the more desperate we become, the more competitive, greedy, protective, inhospitable, intolerant, threatened, self-serving, and self-centered we become. But when we have hope, we're not afraid to give, make the sacrifice, pay the price, or do what's needed. Why? Because the best is yet to come. Hope frees us to give.

Now, there are some things you need to know about God.

God is sovereign and in control.

This past week, tragedy struck in Colorado. We've been glued to our television sets as eyewitnesses have shared their stories and experts have tried to make sense of everything. That man's plot was as calculated and diabolic as anything in recent memory. But where was God?

Psalm 37:7 (NIV) says, "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes." Psalm 37:39-40 (NIV) says, "The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord; he is their stronghold in time of trouble. The Lord helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him."

Even though we're not in control (and we never really are), God is completely in control. Psalm 40:1-3 (NIV) says, "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire, he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord."

God is purposefully, redemptively, patient.

Another word for patience is forbearance. Romans 3:25 (NIV) describes how in his forbearance God, "left the sins committed beforehand unpunished." We know that the constant refrain throughout all scripture is that God is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, great in power, rich in love. He forgives sin and rebellion, and relents from sending calamity. Just because things don't happen quickly, according to our impatient and short-sighted whims, doesn't mean that God is any less sovereign.

No, God is perfectly patient, purposefully patient, and redemptively patient. 2 Peter 3:9 (NIV) says, "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."

In his patience and in his sovereign wisdom, God is willing to let the weeds and the wheat grow together until the appointed time of judgment. See Matthew 13:24-30. 2 Peter 3:15 (NIV) says, "Bear in mind that our Lord's patience means salvation..." God is sovereign. God is patient.

God is faithful to keep all of his promises.

Psalm 130:5 (NIV) says, "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope." Romans 15:4 (NIV) says, "For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope." There isn't a single promise of God in this book that hasn't already, or won't eventually become a reality. This world isn't all there is. God has set eternity before us.

So what does all of this have to do with patience? Romans 12:12 (NIV) instructs us, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." If you want to know what patience is, this is what it is. It's Romans 12:12.

Because God is faithful to keep all his promises, we can be joyful in hope even as the dark night rises. There was no darker night than the night Christ was crucified. Luke 23:44-45 (NIV) describes how when Christ died, "It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining." Could you imagine a darker point in history than when the sun stopped shining and the Son of God was crucified at the hand of evil men? But on the third day after his death, God raised Christ from the grave through the power of the Holy Spirit. God kept his word, and he promises that no matter what happens in this life, nothing can separate us from his love! Hope frees us to be patient.

Because God is gracious and compassionate, and patient with me, I too can be patient in affliction. I can be longing for the redemption of others, even as I suffer their wicked schemes. Think about it. As Christ died on the cross, he forgave the very men who propagated such evil. "Father forgive them, they do not know what they are doing." When Judas delivered Jesus up for betrayal, he addresses Judas as "friend." We are quick to write people off, but not God! He is patient, not wanting any to perish, but all men be saved and come to a knowledge of the truth. The first men God saved in Acts were the very men who had the blood of Christ dripping from their hands. See Acts 2:37.

Because God is sovereign, he is faithful to hear our prayers and deliver us from the evil one. Let me conclude by saying these statements.

God is far more in control than we can see.

God is far more gracious than we deserve.

God is infinitely more faithful than we can imagine in order to bring the work he has begun in our lives, and in this world, to completion.

His invitation to us is that in everything, the small things and the big things, we would be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.