I want to confess something. I've been in church my whole life. One of my earliest recollections is sitting in a pew, being shushed by my parents! I wondered if the smiling people in the rows behind, we're really evil, and maybe enjoyed getting me in trouble.
For the most part, I've always followed the rules. I've always done church, attended Sunday School and youth group. I always went to Church camp, where I memorized tons of Scriptures and was "camper of the week." I was a "good young boy"--delivering papers, doing my chores (and my brothers), trying to get good in school. I always held the door open for people, would shovel the neighbor's driveway who had cancer, and rake the leaves of the elderly lady down the street. I was so messed up, my friend Chris and I would go around giving proper burials to any dead birds we'd find in our neighborhood.
Though my friends relentlessly pressured me (and I do mean relentlessly), I never had much interest in parties, drinking, or smoking marijuana. Once I snuck out with friends to smoke "Schweitzer Sweets"... and I know its cliché... but I never inhaled. In my mind, just inhaling second hand smoke was a mortal sin! Once I tried chewing tobacco--but it was disgusting, I had no use for the stuff. I did cuss a little. Once in a while my friends would come across dirty magazines.
But all these things just made me more cautious than ever. Whenever I sensed I was being led into a morally compromising situation... I'd make some excuse, and stay home, go fishing. Anything to keep my nose clean!
During those high school and young adult years... there were plenty of girls around. Some could be quite forward. But for whatever reason I wanted someone who was modest, godly, and shared my faith. Eventually I went to Bible College--getting a bachelors, masters, then Doctorate. I never intended to become a pastor, it just sort of happened. I only went to Bible College to sort out my faith.
Lara is the only woman I ever dated--or ever needed to date. We met in Bible college, dated four years, and remained pure, literally "saving ourselves" for marriage.
Some of you might think I'm touting some brand of personal righteousness--but what I'm actually confessing is a deficit that's formed through the years. You see, the deeper we descend into this Christian lifestyle, the further removed we become... the HARDER it becomes... to relate to people far from God. We're over here, they can be over there.
Don't get me wrong. I have zero regrets about being a "good Christian boy" or "good Christian man" or now a "good Christian pastor". But I'm confessing the burden of it all, the extreme relational complications, of trying to be "in" the world but not "of" the world. I'm confessing that the more you endeavor to live for God, the more the "alien and stranger" you become in this world, and the bigger the gap can form between you/others. (i.e. 1 Peter 2:11-12).
So how can we as Christians relate to our culture? (1) The easiest way to relate is to say YES to whatever people may want, or demand, or expect socially. Trust me, I understand the temptation. Nobody likes being a stick in the mud. (2) But if you're not willing to participate... and feel duty-bound to live a godly life... the next easiest tactic is probably avoidance. Steer clear. Run from danger. Go huddle in safety w/Christians! There are definitely times we should run, ask Joseph.
One of the biggest regrets I have is all those people, situations, and friends I never influenced for Jesus either because I gave in, and compromised myself... or otherwise avoided them not knowing how else I might relate. (3) A third tactic is that we somehow stand in the gap, and stay engaged. But how?
If ever there was a man we could learn from in this regard, it is Jesus. Imagine being the Son of God and standing in the gap, relating to ordinary, sinful human beings. Talk about a gap. If ever there was a gap, it would be the gap between God and humanity. As the Bible asks, what fellowship can light have with darkness? Yet we have no evidence that Jesus ever sinned, or compromised himself. And we have no indication that Jesus was an avoider. The only time Jesus avoided people was to pray, get sleep, travel, train his disciples, or defuse hostilities. No, Jesus knew how to stand in gap and be redemptive...
Secret #1: Jesus was "For" People. Think carefully about this. Jesus was for people in the deepest possible way. Start with his twelve disciples. Peter was such a sinful man, who pleaded with our Lord, "Go away from me." James and John were so nicknamed "Sons of Thunder" for their emotional volatility. They were all lowly fishermen, by trade. Matthew was a Roman sympathizer, collecting taxes for the enemy. Simon was a zealot--zealots were the kind of men known to bury knives in traitors to the Jewish nation--people like Matthew. Judas was greedy & materialistic, possessing a fatal character flaw.
Jesus could be "for" a person regardless their flaw. Sick. Diseased. Contagious. Leprous. Bleeding. Demon-possessed. Paralyzed. Blind. Deaf. Mute. Unclean. Weighed down by sin. Adulterous. Murderous. Divorced. Needy. Self-righteous. Religious, Irreligious. Conceited. Foolish. Pharisee. Teacher. Sadducee. Soldier. Ruler. Roman, Gentile, Jew, Man, Woman, Slave, Prisoner, Free, Eunuch...Jesus was criticized for being the "friend of sinners of tax collectors." Of unsavory types...
One of most powerful statements in all Scripture is, "For God so loved the world, he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his son to condemn the world but to save the world through him." (John 3:16-17). In Ezekiel 18:23 God declares, "Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked. . . am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live?"
I like to read about Abe Lincoln. You know, generals, and politicians would often parade people before Lincoln to be executed. Some were deserters. Some were horse thieves, or what not. But Lincoln always contemplated what does a man stand to learn from his own death? The answer is nothing! Jesus was never vested in a person's condemnation, demise, or destruction. His motive, goal, intention was redemption. To stand in the gap, we need to come to search our souls and ask, "Am I for people" just like God, just like Jesus? Do I have their best interest in forefront of my mind?
Secret #2: Jesus was "For" God. Jesus sought to honor God, in the deepest possible way, on every single occasion, in every single relationship. So Jesus would say, "I only speak the words I hear from the Father." And, "I only do what pleases the Father." Jesus' continual prayer was that the Father might be glorified in everything the Son does. In John 17:3-4 Jesus prays, "This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent. "I glorified You on the earth, having accomplished the work which You have given Me to do." For Jesus relationships had the highest possible stakes--they were an opportunity for people to know and see the Father's glory.
In the Walk As Jesus Walked study guy, Dann Spader tells about an actor named Bruce Marchiano who was asked to portray Jesus in the movie the "Gospel According to Matthew." He was asked how he prepared for such a huge role. How could he possible go about capturing the personality of Jesus. His answer was immediate, "... I had to be the most loving person I could imagine in order to convey Jesus well. But that love had to be both a tough and tender love."
In every relationship we have this privilege of imitating God, reflecting his image, reflecting his godliness... showing his love, his mercy, his goodness, his grace, his forgiveness... displaying his beauty, his holiness... proclaiming his truth. Short of Jesus, we may be the only picture of God people ever see. No wonder the Scriptures implore us to be alert, sober minded, to pray, to love each other deeply, to use our gifts to serve others, to speak as though speaking the very words of God, to serve in the strength God provides... is so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ! Its so God receive glory and honor for ever and ever (1 Peter 4:7-11). Standing in the gap means not depriving people of seeing clearest possible picture of God.
Secret #3: Jesus was "For" Faith. Perhaps it goes without saying. Our hope isn't in ourselves, or our efforts. Our hope isn't in other people, or their efforts. Our hope is in God and in what he can do. At the end of the day, in relationships, we are like farmers. We can plant. We can cultivate. We can reap. We have certain responsibilities. There are things the other person must do. And then there are things only God can do. We may plant, we might cultivate, we might reap but its God that causes all things to grow. There is a certain place where we end and must have faith in God.
(1) For example, it is the Holy Spirit who brings person to a place of conviction. We can live a compelling life. We can hold out the commandments of God. We can demonstrate their plausibility, the joy they bring our lives. But he convicts. (2) It is the Holy Spirit who brings a person to a place of consecration/dedication. We can only preach the gospel and ask people to obey through faith, confession, repentance, baptism. (3) It is the Holy Spirit who brings a person to a place of change, conversion, sanctification. We cannot artificially manufacture the power of God. For a person to be rescued & redeemed, we must truly put our faith in God, and wait on him. Jesus was willing to suffer/ even die... trusting that his life would bring enemies of God to their knees. His faith was well placed.
To stand in gap we must do these three things... be for people, for God, for faith...