Just as we have physical scars, we have childhood scars.
We don't travel through this life without getting deeply wounded in some way. Sometimes these wounds are the result of negligence. But other wounds result from the willful intentions and the sinful, willful acts of others.
I have many scars on my body. One scar reminds me of the time my gas powered hedge trimmer slipped out of my hand and I reached out to catch it. Note to self: Don't grab hedge trimmers by the blade. That's negligence. Another scar reminds me of a time when my sister hurled a metal matchbox car at my forehead. That's willful intent! She was quite proud of herself!
Just like we have physical scars, we also have childhood scars. Some of those scars were caused by the negligence of parents or caregivers. They didn't mean us harm, yet we were damaged by their actions, or by their inaction. They were incompetent. They were absent. They were careless. Other scars were caused by our own negligence. Many of us made poor choices when we were children-- choices that have left us damaged in some way.
I think of young people who do drugs and permanently damage their brains. I think of others who sear their consciences by living so long in rebellion against God and against their parents. Our consciences can become so seared and so deeply scarred that we lack the ability to feel pain or pleasure anymore. Some of you are grieving the way in which you were damaged by your own negligence. Maybe you feel a sense of despair that you cannot undo the damage.
Some of you have been wounded by the hands or by the willful actions of an evil person. A parent. A grandparent. A caregiver. An authority figure. A supposed friend.
Some of our wounds become a self-fulfilling prophesy.
A kind of double tragedy that occurs is that our childhood wounds become an assumed identity, even late in life. We allow the things that happen to us in childhood to define us for life.
For example, consider the controversial topic of homosexuality. Despite the overwhelming propaganda that says a person is born gay, the reality is that no child wakes up one day imagining himself or herself engaging in homosexual acts. What you often have is a child in adolescence, at or before the point of sexual awakening, being wounded sexually-- whether by their own negligent experimentation, or by the willful abuse of an older relative or family member. Later in life the wound becomes an assumed identity. "I must be gay. This must be who I am. I'm different. God made me this way."
Sometimes our wounds become a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy, a storyline we feel compelled to live out. "I'm a loser. I'm a flunk. I'm a geek. Nobody loves me. I'm a victim of abuse. I'm an addict. I'm a felon. I'm the black sheep of my family. God hates me." These whispers of Satan can oppress us for a lifetime and rob us of our humanity, our contribution, and our potential for goodness.
Where was God in my troubled childhood?
If you've had a troubled childhood you may be asking, "Where was God?" If you are a concerned parent, you may be asking, "Where is God?" There is nothing as painful as watching a child being wounded, but feeling helpless to respond.
A while back I came across Matthew 18 and I noticed things about God the Father I'd never thought about before. In your bulletin, make a list numbered one to six.
The Father's great pleasure is having children welcomed into his presence.
In Matthew 18 a quarrel arises among the disciples about who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. The disciples, like many adults, were being self-absorbed. Their primary concern was establishing their superiority over one another. In Matthew 18 they have the audacity to bring their dispute to Jesus!
Matthew 18:1-5 (NIV) says, "At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, 'Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?' He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: 'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.' "
The pleasure of God is having children welcomed into his presence, into his kingdom. It's the pleasure of Father that children will enjoy a special standing before God.
The Father's perfect justice will come to those who harm a child.
Suppose someone seeks to harm a child. Let there be no doubt that those who would perpetrate violence against a child will face God's ferocious wrath. And it's never a matter of if there will be justice, but rather when. God's justice is perfect and complete. Children are precious in God's sight.
In Matthew 18:6 (NIV) Jesus says, "But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."
The Father's permissive will allows sin only for a time.
This isn't an easy thing to understand, but something we see throughout scripture is God's permissive will. There are seasons in which God permits things that are clearly a violation of his revealed will.
In Matthew 18:7 Jesus says, "Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come!"
God's justice isn't always immediate. As we saw last week, God is patient with us, not wanting any to perish, but for everyone to come to a knowledge of the truth. It's not our way, but it is God's way. God's desire is to redeem the perpetrator as well as the one victimized. God brings about justice in his time, not ours, according to his perfect plan, not according to our plans. But make no mistake about it, justice will come! God may permit sin for a time, but only for a time.
Should God's permissive will cause us to be complacent about child abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, abortion, or other evil acts against children? In Matthew 18:8-9 (NIV) Jesus says, "If your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell."
Let me translate those verses. Christ implores us to take radical measures to protect children from harm. Could Jesus be any more clear? It is better for us to cripple or maim or blind ourselves than to pose a threat to a child. Those who'd harm children are in danger of the very fire of hell. Don't be fooled. God's permissive will is never a license for sin. It's a summons to repentance and radical change.
The Father's intimate presence is always with us, even when we are sinned against.
For those who have suffered childhood wounds, the question is often asked, "Where was, or where is, God?" In Matthew 18:10 (NIV) Jesus makes a profound statement. "See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven."
The Father never turns his face away from a suffering child, even if that child dies at the hand of an evil person. Every baby, every child, has angels assigned to him. These angels always see the face of the Father. No child is ever abandoned by God, neither in life nor in death.
The Father's passionate pursuit is for us to turn to him.
In some Bible translations Matthew 18:11 is missing, but it says, "The Son of Man came to save what was lost." In Matthew 18:12 (NIV) Jesus says, "What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost."
I always thought that parable was about lost people, but it is actually about children! God doesn't want a single child to be lost, not a one! For those of you who have experienced a troubled childhood, God has never once turned his face away from you. He has pursued you for your entire life-- even as he is pursuing you now. God's intention is to save your life, redeem your life, and restore that which was lost. You only need to turn and embrace your heavenly Father. He's been with you all along, waiting for you and pursuing you.
The Father's power to redeem our troubled lives.
The power of God is his desire to redeem our troubled lives-- including our troubled childhoods. Our lives don't need to be defined by the past. God is ready to create a new storyline for us. The new storyline is Ephesians 1:3-14 (NIV). "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love, he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will- to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.
And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment- to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ. In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.
And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory."
In Christ we are blessed. We are chosen. We are loved. We're adopted as sons. We're given strength to bring pleasure to our Father, where before we brought pain. We have redemption. He lavishes us with grace, wisdom, and understanding. We're promised that everything in our lives will work out according to God's purpose and will. We're given God's Holy Spirit as a deposit guaranteeing the greatest inheritance ever. This is not the inheritance of eternal fire, not the hell that others have created for us, or that we've even created for ourselves, but eternal life!
We need to realize that our story begins with being redeemed by Christ.
We need a new storyline. Not that of a victim. Not that of the abuser. But that of being Christ's redeemed. That story can begin this morning.
2 Corinthians 5:17-21 (NIV) says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."
Author David Miller tells of a conversation he had with a friend Jason, who had a thirteen year-old daughter. Jason and his wife had just found pot hidden in their daughter's closet. She was dating a guy who smelled like smoke and only answered questions with single words, "Yeah, no, whatever, why." The guy wouldn't honor their daughter's curfew and they suspected he was the reason their daughter was experimenting with drugs.
Jason and his wife tried everything. David Miller told him, "Your daughter is living a terrible story." A few months later David bumped into his friend Jason. Jason was smiling ear to ear and said, "My family is living a better story."
As a father, Jason had concluded that his job was to map out a better story for his family. He realized that his daughter was living the story that seemed most compelling at the moment. So Jason decided to stop yelling at his daughter and create a better story!
So he got on the internet and found out that for twenty-five thousand dollars, his family could build an orphanage for children in Mexico. So he went home, called a family meeting, and announced to his wife and daughter, "We're building an orphanage." They would need to raise 25,000 dollars as a family. His daughter's eyes grew as big as saucers, and knew it would mean giving up her allowance and who knows what else. Both Jason's wife and daughter were furious!
But then Jason's wife put her arms around him and learned her face on his back of his neck, and told him how proud she was of him. Then soon after, their daughter Rachel came into their bedroom and crawled up on the bed like she used to as a child.
She announced her desire to travel to Mexico, take pictures, and create a website to tell all her friends about the orphanage! Later on she broke up with her boyfriend and took his picture off her dresser. When Jason asked about it she said, "He told me I was fat. Can you believe that? What a jerk!"
Jason saved his daughter from a troubled childhood by creating a better story for his family. Our story was one of victimhood and despair. Our new story is that God is reconciling the whole world to himself, not counting man's sins against him. God invites us to enter into his story. His desire is that not a single one be lost, but all be saved. This includes you, and it includes your child. How can you become part of God's story?