Betrayal is one of the strongest emotions we can feel.
One of the deepest, all-consuming kinds of emotions we can feel is that of betrayal. The short definition of betrayal is to go against a promise. Betrayal can range anywhere from a minor offense to the most egregious of offenses. "You promised to pick up milk on your way home" is a minor betrayal of trust. Getting deleted by a friend on Facebook is probably minor. What happened at Penn State over past few decades is an egregious act of betrayal. Yet betrayal comes in all shapes and sizes.
It's hard to imagine a person going through life without experiencing some manner of personal betrayal. The last episode of "Kitchen Nightmares" was about a father and son who each inherited 250 thousand dollars. The father decided to start a burger joint with his inheritance, but when that wasn't enough, he took his son's inheritance! Even worse, he wouldn't admit to the son that he'd done anything wrong!
One of the most popular songs on the radio right now is "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri. It's been watched over 45 million times on YouTube. This song speaks about the pain of betrayal in a relationship. The chorus asks, "And who do you think you are? Runnin' 'round leaving scars, collecting your jar of hearts and tearing love apart. You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul. So don't come back for me. Who do you think you are? I hear you're asking all around if I am anywhere to be found. But I have grown too strong to ever fall back in your arms. And it took so long just to feel alright, remember how to put back the light in my eyes. I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed, 'cause you broke all your promises. And now you're back. You're lookin' to get me back. Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are?"
I cannot imagine stronger lyrics to capture the essence of betrayal. Have you ever experienced the ice inside another person's soul? Do you know what it means to have been loved, only to have your heart carelessly torn apart? Do you regret having loved, having trusted, having befriended, or having believed the promises of another? Have you ever felt so incredulous as to shout, "Who do you think you are?"
The Bible is filled with egregious acts of betrayal.
Consider the book of
Genesis. Adam was betrayed into the hand of Satan by Eve. As a result, all creation fell under a curse. Abel was betrayed his brother Cain, as Cain took Abel's life for offering a better sacrifice to God. Noah was betrayed by his youngest son, Ham. Instead of covering his father's drunken nakedness, Ham humiliated his father by telling others, and then paid a price.
Sarai was twice betrayed by her husband Abram, when out of fear, he lied to the Egyptians and offered his wife to them saying, "She is my sister." And then Sarai was betrayed again when Abram lied to Abimelech, king of Gerar, and claimed Sarai as his sister. Lot was betrayed by his daughters when they got him drunk and committed incest with him.
Esau was betrayed by both his mother Rebekah and his brother Jacob when they swindled him out of his birthright in exhange for a bowl of stew. Then again, Esau was betrayed when Jacob disguised himself as his brother in order to steal their father Isaac's blessing.
This week I had you read the story of Joseph, the son of Jacob. Joseph was betrayed by his brothers when out of jealousy they sold him into slavery. Judah was betrayed by his daughter-in-law when she disguised herself and slept with him.
We often idealize people in the Bible. Truthfully? With a few lone exceptions, like Joseph perhaps, there is nothing flattering about the character, the choices, of people whose stories are in the Bible. In fact, their wickedness only seems to increases. They only have their icy selves in mind as they sin.
We are ill-equipped to cope with betrayal.
Betrayal is one of the deepest and most destructive emotions we can feel. It's an emotion we are ill-equipped to cope with. It stirs within us a level of resentment and contempt for others that is seldom overcome. The fallout of betrayal is felt among children, among family members, and among associates and communities. It's also felt for generations. Consider how the acts of one man ruined the lives of so many on the campus of Penn State!
Anger is the powerlessness we feel when we've been betrayed. We feel powerless to change what's happened in the past or what's happening now. We feel powerless to change the other, to rectify the wrong, or to get the justice we feel we deserve. Our track record for coping with betrayal isn't good. Betrayal stirs us to act with vengeance, to rectify the wrongs, to escalate a conflict, to seek the demise of others, and to make their lives as painful and miserable as ours. When Jesus speaks of the last days in Matthew 10:21 (NIV) he says, "Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death."
God also experiences betrayal.
You might be surprised to learn that God also experiences betrayal. Betrayal isn't just a human emotion. It's also a divine emotion. When we act against God, the Bible says in
Exodus 34:14 that our God is a jealous God. Jealousy is the emotion that God experiences when we act against him, against his holy covenant, against repentance, and against our relationship with him. God was continually jealous for Israel. Yet God's jealousy is holy, it's redemptive, and it's conciliatory.
When we're betrayed, we act in violence, in hostility, in wrath, and in vengeance. Other times we simply withdraw, we avoid, and we sabotage. But generally speaking, we write a person off. We fire him. We divorce her. Yet not God. His character is not our character. His ways are not our ways. When God is betrayed, he pursues us in love.
Romans 5:8 (NIV) says,
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us." While we were still actively sinning, God sent Christ to die for us. How's that for pursuing us?
One of the most bizarre passages in all of scripture is 2 Timothy 2:13 (NIV) which says, "if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself..." This verse draws a stark contrast between our character and God's character. We are the faithless ones. We are the betrayers. Yet God alone is faithful. He cannot disown himself.
God remains faithful, even when we are faithless.
Consider
Psalm 89:1-2 (NIV) which says,
"I will sing of the LORD's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations. I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself." The whole psalm is about God's faithfulness.
Psalm 89:8 (NIV) says,
"O LORD God Almighty, who is like you? You are mighty, O LORD, and your faithfulness surrounds you."
But what does this mean?
Psalm 89:30-35 (NIV) says,
"If his sons forsake my law and do not follow my statutes, if they violate my decrees and fail to keep my commands, I will punish their sin with the rod, their iniquity with flogging; but I will not take my love from him, nor will I ever betray my faithfulness. I will not violate my covenant or alter what my lips have uttered. Once for all, I have sworn by my holiness..."
Despite the sin of Adam and Eve, Cain, Ham, Abram, Lot's daughters, Jacob, Joseph's brothers, and Tamar, God remained faithful to his covenant. Though there were often severe consequences, though God disciplined his sons and daughters, his redemptive intent never once wavered!
God asks that we act according to his character, not according to ours.
In light of his faithfulness, God asks that we would act according to his character and according to his redemptive intent, and not according to our character. In Leviticus 19:18 (NIV) God says, "Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD." Have you ever noticed that it's our own people, our own family, and our own neighbors who we have the most trouble forgiving when they betray us?
In the wake of betrayal, God asks that we act according to his character, not according to our own. In
Leviticus 19:2 (NIV) God commands his people,
"Be holy because I, the LORD your God, am holy." These same commands are echoed in the New Testament.
1 Peter 1:16 (NIV) says,
"Be holy, because I am holy." James 2:8 (NIV) says,
"If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, 'Love your neighbor as yourself,' you are doing right."
But listen to
Colossians 3:12-14 (NIV) which says,
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
At the end of the last "Kitchen Nightmare" episode, Chef Ramsey approaches the son. He tells the son how he never said the things he needed to say to his own father while his father was still alive. But then he asked the son, for the sake of their relationship, to forgive his father. "You may never forget what he took, but you must forgive him."
We have a choice to be bitter or to act according to God's plan.
Before us is a choice-- to descend deeper into bitterness, or to act according to God's character, according to his plan.
Joseph, in
Genesis 50:19-21 (NIV) said this to his brothers when they reconciled.
" '...Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.' And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them."
In
Genesis 33:10 (NIV) when Jacob realized that Esau was willing to forgive him, he says to Esau,
"...For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably."
Oh, that others might see the face of God as we forgive.