Think back to a time when you learned something significant from a parent or grandparent. Maybe it was how to bake a special recipe, how to fix a leaky faucet, maybe you learned about art or photography, perhaps it was a sport or it involved the outdoors, or perhaps even a story about their faith journey. These moments, these passing down of knowledge and experience, shape who we become. Today, we're going to explore how we can intentionally pass down the most vital inheritance of all: a vibrant faith in God.
As we continue our Soul Strong series this morning, our jumping off point will be Paul’s words to the church in Ephesus in Ephesians 6:1-4:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. 1
Let’s break this down as we digest what Paul’s instructions meant.
• Children's Obedience "in the Lord": This obedience isn't blind submission but is rooted in a recognition of God's order and the parents' role as guides within that framework. This call for obedience is tied to a parent’s submission and obedience to biblical authority.
• Honoring Parents: This commandment is significant as it's linked to a promise. Honoring goes beyond mere obedience and involves respect, care, and appreciation.
• Obedience and honor are linked to positive outcomes in life, both physically and spiritually.
• Fathers (Parents) Don’t Exasperate Your Children: To "not exasperate" – avoiding harshness, unfairness, and inconsistent discipline. This amplifies the need for patience, understanding, and creating a nurturing environment. This warns against harsh or overly critical discipline that can lead to bitterness and resentment.
• Bringing Children Up in the "Training and Instruction of the Lord": This is the core of generational faith. "training" (Greek: paideia)(pie DAY uh) is viewed as holistic development, including discipline and guidance. "instruction" (Greek: nouthesia) (new-thes-ee-ah) as admonition and teaching, rooted in God's Word. The active and intentional role of parents in shaping their children's faith and future with a holistic mindset.
Paul is calling those in the church of Ephesus to bring the children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord: To model godly behavior, teach God's word, and guide their children towards a life of faith. This includes being proactive in raising children in the Lord's discipline and instruction and modeling a faithful life before them.
• The passage also highlights the significance of spiritual warfare that is waging.
• We’ve spent the entire series discussing the armor needed and Ephesians 6:10-20, reminding believers to be strong in the Lord and stand against the schemes of the devil.
• It emphasizes the importance of prayer.
• In the context of Eph 6, Paul is calling the believers to arm or equip their children to withstand the culture of Spiritual opposition and darkness.
We too are living in a culture that often believes and promotes the lies of Satan, which offer an upside down hierarchy for living.
Proverbs 14:12
“12 There is a way that seems right to a person,
but its end is the way to death.”
What are some lies that others believe, or that we might be tempted to believe in our current cultural climate?
• Live your truth (there is no absolute truth, no biblical truth)
• Boys will be boys
• I can’t tell them no, I don’t want to hurt their feelings
• Feelings are always trustworthy and true
• It’s not that big of a deal, we did those things and we turned out fine
• There are no consequences for our words and deeds
• Godly discipline is mean or oppressive
• Self-guided adolescence (they will figure it out; the culture will be their guide)
• Parental influence or involvement is not only unneeded, but it’s harmful to self-discovery
These lies, Satan’s lies, distort and corrupt and get the authority structure upside down. Make no mistake, a war is waging for our children, and these lies are just a few that we might face in the war for their souls.
So, what might this upside-down hierarchy look like?
• Children
• Others (teachers, friends, doctors, YouTube influencers)
• Parents (Just here to bankroll my life’s choices, not offer wisdom or advice)
• No need for God
A child that has not been led well…a child that has not been called to and held to God’s instruction, God’s design, is left to try and figure out for themselves how to live in this world.
Which is good, because mankind in general, and children specifically are notorious for making wise, sound life choices. (I’m kidding of course)
A child who has not been equipped or armed with the armor that we’ve been discussing throughout this series is easy prey for Satan.
• The belt of truth: Represents the foundation of truth in one's life.
• The breastplate of righteousness: Symbolizes the righteous character and conduct that should characterize a believer's life.
• The shoes of the gospel of peace: Represents the readiness to share the message of peace and salvation with others.
• The shield of faith: Represents the protection and strength that comes from believing in God's promises.
• The helmet of salvation: Symbolizes the hope and assurance of salvation in Christ.
• The sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God: Represents the ability to use God's Word to overcome spiritual opposition.
So how does a Godly authority structure compare.
God is the Perfect Father- everything flows down from His design and wisdom
2 Cor 6:18
18 And I will be a Father to you,
and you will be sons and daughters to me,
says the Lord Almighty.[g]
Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the plans I have for you”—this is the Lord’s declaration—“plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
God wants all of us to know that as our Father, He loves us, He is proud of us, and He is here for us.
Godly Parents – Intentionally, proactively, and prayerfully live out and implement God’s design and priorities in their families. Where we fall short, our Perfect Father fills in those gaps.
Children- living in Godly submission to their parent’s godly instruction live armored lives, and are far more likely to experience prosperity.
Donald Miller wrote a book, “To Own a Dragon” where he shares a story about a group of elephants studied in a documentary. The elephants had been orphaned and taken to a nature reserve. The young male elephants began demonstrating destructive, wild, and deadly behavior. They would attack the rhinos, impale them and hold them underwater until they drowned. These young male elephants would also fight with one another. These adolescent elephants were experiencing musth, which I imagine is similar to puberty. This newfound strength and energy was unknown and unchecked.
In the wild when an adolescent male experiences his first musth cycle he will search out a more mature male elephant to mentor him and guide him. Upon finding a mentor, the musth cycle ends for the adolescent elephant, and the two do life together. They travel together. They eat together. The young elephant learns how to use its strength and other male characteristics to benefit the herd.
Without a more mature elephant to mentor the young elephants, large numbers of aggressive male elephants would bring chaos to the nature reserve, and to the other animals living there. Once mature male elephants were brought to the reserve to provide the needed guidance to the young elephants, the behaviors subsided, and the young males began interacting appropriately.
It’s rather amazing what intentional guided mentoring can do.
So how can we thrive in faith generation after generation?
It takes just 1 generation to set a different trajectory for the generations to come.
If you come from several generations of upside-down living, you can be the one to make the change for generations to come.
If you come from generations of faithfulness to God’s order, you too must be intentional to live out God’s plan for future generations.
How do we do that? Let’s start with Deuteronomy 6.
Deuteronomy 6
5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6 These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. 7 Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol[b] on your forehead.[c] 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.
This instruction for parents is continual, intentional, formative discipling as you go.
This type of parenting requires presence. Physical presence; mental presence; emotional presence.
Let’s be real for a minute. As a parent, it’s not that we don’t want to be all these things for our children, but who has the time and energy for it, am I right?
This entire sermon is for me. If it helps you, it’s great, but I’m talking to me here.
Practical Applications for Parents:
• Pray- From start to finish and everywhere in between - Pray
• Be Intentional: Faith formation doesn't simply happen. Rarely are there any Bob Ross happy accidents in forming faith and belief in Jesus. We must be deliberate in teaching our children about God through Bible stories, prayer, and conversations about faith in everyday life.
o While it is easy to check out after a long and stressful day, remaining deliberate in engaging our children in spiritual conversations is worth it.
• Model Godliness: Children learn by observing. We must live out our faith authentically. Our actions speak louder than words.
• Show of hands- How many perfect people do we have here today? How many perfect parents? How many parents lost it this morning trying to get to church?
• If we all already know that we are imperfect and flawed individuals, then why do some of us struggle to be real about that? For men and fathers I think it is connected to our need and desire to feel respected, and we will do almost anything to avoid feeling disrespected. We aren’t fooling anyone. Our kids already know that we mess up…all the time.
• Be vulnerable, Be authentic: One critical way to help your children establish their own deep faith, is to see God working in yours. If you aren’t growing, they will see it. If you are cleaning the outside of the cup, but the inside if neglected and disgusting, they are going to see that. If you never admit to being wrong, if we never apologize when you fall short there is a disconnect, a hypocrisy. A willingness to apologize and have humility about your own mistakes may be the most important thing a parent can do in aiding the formation of their own children’s walk with the Lord.
• Discipline with Love and Consistency: discipline, when rooted in love and applied consistently, helps children understand boundaries and the consequences of their actions, mirroring God's loving guidance. God’s instructions for our lives is for our good. Our implementation of God’s instructions in our children’s lives is for their good.
• Create a Faith-Filled Home Environment: Make faith a natural part of family life, such as family devotions, praying together, and discussing Sunday's sermon.
• I recently saw a video clip from a sermon where the preacher declared that children should join their parents in church so kids can see their parents worshipping. His take was that kid’s ministry, in a silo, has failed to produce lasting disciples.
• What if parents served together inside the kid’s ministry where their children attend. Not only would children see their parents singing praise, opening God’s Word, praying, worshiping through the taking of communion and the giving of offering, but kids would see their parents sharing the gospel hope with other children. What better way for a child to learn how to share the hope we have in Jesus, than by hearing their parents modeling it.
• The discipling of our children isn’t the “job” of the children’s ministry. It will most certainly be insufficient if that is the primary point of discipleship in the life of a child.
• Find ways to serve others with your children. Model for them what it looks like to care for their neighbors, teachers, teammates, the homeless…
• Remember, our children are a work in progress. They will fail. They will disappoint us. They will make you repeat yourself at least 849 times to pick up their mess. In those moments we need to remember that we too are imperfect. Be gracious and help them learn to live in ways that honor God.
• In case I haven’t mentioned it yet, Pray. Pray that the Holy Spirit will provide all you need in every moment as you strive to disciple your children.
Practical Applications for Children:
• Give Grace. Your parents will fall short. They will embarrass you. They will make you mad. Give them grace anyway.
• You don’t have to test every boundary just to be sure it is still there
• When your parents are honoring God in the way they parent you, they have your best in mind. Obey them.
• There is a promise made to you when you honor your parents – that it may go well with you and you may enjoy long life on the earth.
• Young people, you are the church of today and for the future. Your spiritual growth and wiliness to be discipled by your parents impacts the future vitality and mission of the church. As the next generation of leaders, servants, and witnesses you are being developed and nurtured now.
Conclusion:
Everyone: Embrace your role in nurturing the faith of children, whether as parents, grandparents, or members of the wider church family. Express hope in God's power to work through their efforts.
Brothers and sisters, the task of raising godly children and fostering generational faith is a sacred and vital one. It's about more than just teaching; it's about living, modeling, and nurturing a love for God that can be passed down through generations. As we embrace the wisdom of Ephesians 6, let us commit ourselves to being intentional in our homes and our church, trusting in God's promise that when we honor Him and guide our children in His ways, it will indeed go well with us, and the light of faith will continue to shine brightly for generations to come.