Courage
Welcome to the jungle. For those of you just joining us, for the past few weeks we have been discussing how to navigate the jungle of difficult relationships in our lives. Man versus wild relationships. How many of you have watched the Discovery channel program "Man versus Wild" starring Bear Grylls?
Bear is an expert at surviving the wild places in the world. Bear loves the challenge of tackling the most ruggedplaces on earth. Drop Bear in a desert and he will manage to find shade, water, and a few bugs to eat. Drop me in a desert and I will die of dehydration. Bear can build a boat from fallen tree limbs and work his way through swamp water. I would be eaten up by a man-eating fish. For Bear the challenge of tackling the wild is his life work. For me my life work is helping people know the peace of sorting out the jungles in their lives. My way to navigate through the jungle is to prudently choose the path of safety and comfort. My idea of roughing it is a Holiday Inn! I prefer the Hyatt Regency.
I look at relationships in much the same way. Some people insist on choosing the challenge of the difficult, dramatic relationships that foster chaos in their lives. Galatians 5:19-21(NIV) tells us about some of the characteristics of these difficult relationships. "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies and the like."
Difficult relationships are very hard to navigate.
How many of you like being around sexually immoral, impure, and debaucherous people? Are these wonderful people to imitate? How many of you dabble in idolatry and witchcraft? Do you like being around people who hate others andwho sow discord among their peers? Is it calming and pleasant to be around jealous, angry people who regularly throwfits of rage? Or do you really like people who have selfish ambition and thrive on dissention to create chaos? All ofthese are examples of horribly chaotic relationships. Welcome to the jungle of relationships.
For myself, I like being around easy, comfortable, safe people. Christian people. People who exhibit the characteristicsof Jesus Christ. That's why I like coming to church. In all my seven years of attending this church, none of you haveever been ugly or nasty to me. Not once. Not ever. Mature Christian people should know how to navigate therelational jungle. I love the body of Christ. I love Christ's church.
Galatians 5:22 (NIV) tells us about some of the characteristics of Christian relationships. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love,joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Doesn't this sound like a betterbunch of people to imitate? Doesn't this sound like a more peaceful existence? To have this kind of peace, we need to learn the art of navigating the relationship jungle God's way.
Life can be a jungle. Relationships can be a jungle. In the past few weeks Jon has been talking about some qualities weneed to develop in our character if we are to find some joy, peace, and pleasure in life's relationships. Please refer tothe church website at www.lakesidechristian.com for the previousfive weeks of sermons for more descriptions of thesequalities. These qualities include faithfulness, consideration, humility, understanding, and discretion.
Courage is a necessary survival skill for relationships.
Today we will look at the sixth attribute for navigating life's difficult relationships; courage. Having courage is vitally important to be able to survive the relational jungle. Famous Christian author C.S. Lewis once said, "Courage is notsimply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point."
Webster's definition of courage is, "having the strength to keep going when you are afraid." John Wayne once said, "Courage is being scared to death...and saddling up anyway."
We must have the courage to look inside ourselves.
Let’s look at three areas in which we should exhibit courage. First, we must have the courage to look inside ourselves.We must be able to do an honest evaluation of ourselves, our motives, our desires, and our deepest feelings.
Would Tom Frydenger ever do what Bear Grylls does on a weekly basis? No, no, never, never! Nothing inside me knows how to cope with the world that Bear puts himself in. I have none of Bear's survival skills or survival instincts when it comes to living off the land and wilderness. If I look deep inside myself, I can't fool myself into believing that Ican survive in the wilderness.
When I look at the world I put myself into everyday, when I am having difficulty with my relationships, I need to first have the courage to look inside myself. If I am having difficulty with a relationship, I want to know if it isthe other party's problem?Or is it mine? Why are they doing what they are doing? Why are they acting out? Why are they creating discord andfactions? On the other hand, what is my responsibility in this issue? Why am I acting like this? Why do I do the thingsI do? What are my problems?
The easy way out is to say that I just don't want to know about me. It's easier just to blame the other person. I don't want to know what my responsibility is. If there's noise in the car engine, I'll ignore it. I'll just turn the radio up. It'shard to ask myself why I get jealous or envious of my neighbor. It's hard to justify my gossip and lying. It takescourage to admit stealing, lusting, or looking at pornography. It's hard to determine why I get drunk, use drugs, lose mytemper, curse, use the name of Jesus as an expletive, eat too much, think poorly of others, criticize, or have an affair. Ittakes courage to look inside ourselves and to be honest about our behaviors. My longest relationship is with me. IfI’m not honest here inside myself, I won’t be healthy anywhere.
Where do I find the courage to look inside myself? I might have to change my thoughts or behavior if I look too hard. How do I find the courage? The answer is simple, but profound. Get into the word. Get into God's word. Read it and takeit to heart.
Build your courage by studying God's word.
James 1:22-25 (NIV) tells us, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive ourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it - he will be blessed in what he does."
So it's not enough to just read or listen to God's word. The important thing is put the principles of God's word into practice in your relationships. And God's word promises that you will be blessed in whatever you do. Your relationships will be blessed if you follow God's way.
Here's another way to build your courage through the study of God's word. Romans 12:2 (NIV) says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." In other words, if you fill yourmind with the good wisdom of God, your mind will be renewed and you will more closely imitate God. Joshua 1:8(NIV) tells us, "Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may becareful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful."
Develop courage by associating with other Christians.
But sometimes it is hard to look into ourselves deeply when we are isolated and alone, apart from other Christians. It'stoo easy to be cowardly when we're all by ourselves. It's much easier to be courageous when we are in the company offellow believers. That's why it's so important to be involved in a small group. In small groups you study the wisdomof God's word. You are known. You become encouraged by godly people who have practical life experience to sharewith you. You become accountable to like-minded believers. You are associated with God's people. And as a resultyou become more courageous in your relationships.
I can't stress how important it is to get into Christian fellowship. Proverbs 27:17 (NIV) tells us, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." I might see something in a passage of God's word and you may see something else entirely. I have never thought about it until you point out another view to me. We sharpen each other.
And in order to get the most blessing from the small group setting with other believers we must be honest with each other. We must have the courage to face our problems, our relationships, honestly. As it says in Colossians 3:9-10 (NIV), "Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which isbeing renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator."
Before change can begin we must have the courage to be honest with ourselves and with other believers who careabout us and who have our best interests at heart. We must look inside ourselves to confront our sins, then to confessthem to God. 1 John 1:9 (NIV) promises, "If we confess our sins, he (God) is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins andpurify us from all unrighteousness." If we have the courage to look inside ourselves, God will be faithful to honor ourvulnerability and courage.
Are you all familiar with the serenity prayer? Well let's examine it just a little bit. God grant me the serenity to acceptthe things I cannot change. (I can't change you, so please let me accept that.) Give me courage to change the things Ican. (We can change ourselves. I can change me.) And grant me the wisdom to know the difference.
Before you go into the relational jungle, make sure the jungle is out of you. Make sure that you are not going tobecome a part of that jungle. Don't be part of the problem. Be the solution. Have the courage to look inside yourself,examine God's word, and change the things about you that are hindering your relationships.
We have to exhibit courage to stand up for what we believe in.
Another area where we have to exhibit courage is to have the courage to stand up for whatwe believe deep downinside ourselves. Once you have studied God's word in your quiet time and with other believers, you will have God'sprinciples in your heart. Once you know what God's will is, you must have the courage to decide to follow God. Butthen it's time to put those principles into practice in the real world. You will be challenged every day and you musthave the courage to defend what you believe in and stand up for it.
For example, let's consider a common issue. You know that it is God's will that the name of Jesus not be taken in vain.As you study God's word, the name of Jesus becomes more and more precious to you. So you decide that you don'twant to hear the word "Jesus" used as an expletive or curse word. So you decide to stand up for Jesus and speak upwhen you hear neighbors, friends, relatives, or co-workers using the name of Jesus in vain.
As soon as you decide to do this, your mind is flooded with every negative thought. Make no mistake about it. Satanwill try to thwart your every attempt to exhibit courage to stand up for Jesus. "They will get angry." "They won’t likeme." "I will offend them." "They will think poorly of me or think I'm some kind of religious nut." "Or the very worstthing of all may occur. They'll think I’m intolerant." With these kind of thoughts in your head you can see why youneed courage to stand up for what you believe in.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there isalways someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe thecritics are right."
Margaret Chase Smith told us, "Moral cowardice that keeps us from speaking our minds is as dangerous to this countryas irresponsible talk. The right way is not always the popular and easy way. Standing for right when it is unpopular is atrue test of moral character."
Where do you get the courage to say, " May I ask you please to not use the name of Jesus like that?" You ask nicely,humbly, and in a calm voice. You don't get nasty and ugly or defensive. You just state your question firmly andpolitely. But it takes courage to do this.
If you are examining God's word, you will find many examples of courageous persons who stood up for whatthey believed. Consider Daniel, who was banished to the lion's den in Daniel 6. The biblical account doesn't mentionany anxiety on Daniel's part. And Daniel's comrades, Sharach, Meshach, and Abednego, seemed pretty calm in Daniel 3when they were thrown into the firey furnace. In fact, the account says that there was a fourth person who walked in thefurnace with them. We usually assume that this person was Jesus Christ, strengthening them and giving them courage.
Rahab the prostitute was mentioned in Hebrews 11 for her bravery. She shielded the Israelites from harm in the face ofviolent opposition. The apostle Paul was beaten or stoned repeatedly throughout his ministry. He kept preaching andwhen others needed encouragement, Paul was the first to give it even when he was in a prison cell.
Moses was God's appointed messenger to pharoah in Exodus 4 but he was afraid to speak. So God let him take hisbrother Aaron along in order to speak for him. Joshua got lots of encouragement in Joshua 1. And the prime exampleis Jesus Christ, God's Son and our Lord and Savior. Even Jesus needed courage to be scorned, beaten, and spit upon.He needed courage to die on the cross and to be separated from God as he took our sins upon himself. Luke 22:43-44tells us that Jesus was in anguish before he was crucified. He was stressed and anxious to the point where he actuallysweat drops of blood. There is a medical condition called hemotidrosis where the body, when under intense stress,actually causes us to sweat drops of blood. Jesus was strengthened by an angel sent from God.
Each person in the above examples was convinced that God was with him. They took courage from their knowledge ofGod and they acted on their beliefs. Dorothy Bernard said, "Courage is fear that has said its prayers." For Jesus, hiscourage to take on the sins of the world was born out of love. He was showing love for his Father and love for us. Andthis brings us to the third area in which we must have courage.
We must have the courage to love.
Thelastpart of courage is having the courage to love.Love will call to you. Love will put demands on you. Love will make you vulnerable. It takes great courage to trulylove one another.
Few of us will have the moment where we act on valor. Valor is the moral strength required to perform one’s duties,no matter what the consequences. Valor is exemplified by the firefighter who rushes into a flame-engulfed house torescue a child he does not know from certain death. But any of us would respond in a like manner to the cries of ourown child.
Unlike Bear Grylls, I would not put my life in peril for a television show. But if my wife’s plane went down in thejungles of Brazil, without adoubtI wouldbe leading my own rescue crew to find her. I love my wife and that love requiresme to be courageous.
But would I bring that same energy to a moral issue? What if my wife ran off into sin? What if she blatently continuedto sin, regardless of the consequences. Would I pursue her with the same determination as if she were in physical peril? Mark Twain once observed, "It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courageso rare." As Christians we are called exhibit have moral courage. This type of courage will help us navigate life'srelational jungles.
In closing let me tell you one last story. After Peter had denied knowing Jesus three times, when Jesus spoke to himafter his resurrection he didn’t tell Peter to be stronger, more courageous, or braver. Jesus asked him, "Do you loveme?" Of course Peter replied that he loved Jesus. Why was this important? Jesus knew that Peter’s love for himwould cause him to act in courageous ways. Our love for Jesus will do the same for us.