Perseverance
Picture the kind of relationships that you would like to have. Patient, kind, generous, humble, courteous, unselfish, good-tempered, guileless, and sincere. Instead of your relationships being a jungle, imagine them possessing the qualities that I just listed. Wouldn't it be wonderful?
Imagine yourself with your family at a park, having a picnic. Everyone is calm and patient even though they are starving to death. Your kids are actually helping one another rather than fighting. Uncle Bob is passing out silver dollars. Your sister-in-law is not being rude and is actually having a conversation without making someone mad! This family is living out 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV).
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
One day, Dwight Moody was asked to give a talk. He wasn't really prepared, so he held up a book by Henry Drummond that was written in 1884. He spoke directly from Henry's book and I will paraphrase loosely the concepts that Drummond wrote about.
Patient:Love passive.
Patience is love in its passive state. Love passive. This type of love is not in a hurry and is always calm and waiting comfortably. Anyone who has ever been around me has developed patience. Because of my disability, I don't get anywhere very fast. My kids have waited for me to climb a mountain that took mesix hours to climb. They kept going back and forth from the summit to me. When my friends rode bikes they had to wait for me because I couldn't keep up! I'm proud that I helped people develop patience, love in its passive form.
Kindness: Love active.
This type of love is looking for the chance to bring happiness and joy to others. It is looking for an oppportunity to lighten others' burdens.
Generous:Love giving.
This type of love looks for the opportunity to give itself away. God demonstrated this type of love as is detailed in John 3:16 (NIV). "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." What did God do? He gave his Son Jesus to die for us.
And in turn, God is asking us to become givers. Ephesians 5:1-2 (NIV) tells us, "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Love is generous, and is giving itself away on a regular basis.
Humility:Love hiding.
Having done its good, this type of love doesn't need to take the credit. It doesn't need lots of accolades. It slips off and steps away from its good deeds.
Courtesy:Love in the little things.
This is having good manners. It is expressing appreciation. It is saying "thank you" and "please". This should happen even in families. It would probably make you sick to hang out with Adrienne and I at home. You wouldn't believe how many times we say "please", "thank you", "I appreciate that", "You are so sweet", etc. But courtesy should begin at home. Love is courteous.
Unselfishness: Love focused on others.
This is considering others' needs before your own. It is being thoughtful and aware of others. It is the type of love that is looking for service. The husband who picks up his wife's favorite candy bar. The wife who brings a cup of coffee to her husband in the morning without being asked.
Good temper:Love at the core.
This is love having pushed out anger, with all of its misery, from our lives. This type of love reduces the power of anger. We should have so much of Jesus inside of us that his love has pressed out all of our anger.
Guilessness: Love believing.
This may be an unfamiliar word to you. Guilessness is seeing only the best or seeing the potential in others. Then this type of love acts toward them in a way that helps to bring out their potential. This love brings out the best in others.
Sincerity:Love that is pure.
This is love that seeks and holds on to the truth. It seeks the truth even when the truth is hard to face.
These characteristics are the ones that we long for in our relationships. Pateince. Kindness. Generosity. Humility. Courtesy. Unselfishness. Good temper. Guilessness. Sincerity. Think what our relationships would be like if we practiced all these characteristics.
How do we develop these characteristics?
So how do we develop these characteristics? How do we get there? Well, how do you use MapQuest? Type into the computer where you are and where you want to go and it gives you detailed directions on how to get there. So I type in the church address and then my address at home and it tells me exact directions to home from the church. From Toronto Road travel east .2 miles to I 55. Take I 55 south exit ramp and travel south 30 miles to exit number 60 or route 108. Turn right on 108 and travel west for 9.2 miles. Turn right on Timbered Estates Lane. Just follow those directions and you will get straight to my house.
Saints, we know where we want to go with our relationships. We want to have love filled relationships. So we must get the right directions and follow them in order to reach our destination.
Over the lasteight weeks we have looked a the dichotomies in our relationships that we must resolve in order to have good relationships. Dichotomies are simple directions like right or left, up or down, stop or go. We are chosing between two opposites. In relationships, those two opposites represent choices between good behaviors that will enhance our relationships and bad behaviors that will hinder relationship development.
We looked at faithfulness versus abandonment and were taught to never give up on our relationships. We looked at consideration for others versus self-centeredness and were taught to always show regard for others. We looked at humility versus arrogance and pride and we learned that we must be teachable. We looked at asking versus foolishness and destroying people and we were taught to seek understanding.
We looked at discretion versus deception and we were taught to guard our hearts. We looked at courage versus cowardise or fear and we were taught to show boldness. We looked at self control versus careless words and we were taught to speak words that build others up, not tear them down. We looked at integrity versus lying and deception and we were taught to always be truthful in our relationships.
Today we will look at persevering versus being impatient. We will be taught to wait patiently.
The definition of patience is being capable of calmly awaiting an outcome or result; not being hasty or impulsive. In other words, calm down and take a breath before acting on your impulses.
The definition of perseverance is, "to persist in anything undertaken; to maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement; to continue steadfastly." In other words, perseverance is patience in action. The perfect picture of perseverance is a child who wants something from his mother. Over and over again he says, "Please, can I have it? Please? When can I have it? Why won't you let me have it now?" Over and over again the child asks, and asks, and asks, and asks. And either the mother gives in or the child throws a fit, or both!
In my counseling practice the lack of perseverance is almost laughable at times. I will work with a client's problem and together we will develp a plan to correct the problem. He returns in a week (a week!) and says, "It didn't work." Or a parent will say, "I tried to give little Johnny a consequence, but he wouldn't take it. (He wouldn't take it!) Or a husband will say, "I was nice to my wife for three days in a row (three days!) and she still doesn't want to kiss me." Or, "I lifted weights this week and I don't see any difference in my physique." Or, "I dieted all day on Wednesday and didn't lose a pound."
What these folks don't realize is that perseverance is an action that is repeated over a long period of time. Over and over again until positive results are achieved.
Jesus taught about perseverance and persistence.
Jesus taught persevering in Luke 11:5-8 (NIV). "Then he said to them, 'Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.' Then the one inside answers, 'Don't bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed. I can't get up and give you anything.' I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man's boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs.' "
And Jesus taught persistence in Luke 11:9-10 (NIV). "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."
This scripture is in the present imperative. Ask. Seek. Knock. Keep on, keep on, keep on. Be persistent. Keep asking. Keep seeking. Keep knocking. Jesus taught persevering as a necessary quality for the Christian walk.
Are you having a struggle at home or in a relationship? If so, how can God use your struggle for the good of everyone? Romans 5:1-5 (NIV) tells us, "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."
God wants us to be patient and to persevere.
Did you get that? Suffering leads to perseverance. Perseverance leads to character. Character leads to hope. God doesn't just want to save you. He wants to build your character. You've heard that you shouldn't pray for patience. Why not? Because God just won't give you patience. He will teach you patience by putting you in positions of suffering.
Are you familiar with the story of Noah? Noah is a great example of both patience and perseverance. Think about it. Naoh must have suffered from the pressures of building the ark. The community must have talked about how crazy he was. He must have been teased and humiliated. His wife probably just wanted him to go to work and make money. His boys must have complained that they wanted to do something else. But Noah was patient and persistent in achieving his charge from God.
A story familiar to Noah's is detailed in the movie "Evan Almighty". Evan Baxter has just been elected to Congress. He and his family are spending their first night in their new home. Joan, Evan's wife, tells him about how excited the children were as they went to bed. Then she says, "Ryan did the cutest thing. He asked if we could all pray together. Do you want to know what I prayed for? I prayed that we would become closer as a family."
Evan doesn't show much excitement about prayer. Then Joan asked Evan, "What would you pray for?" Evan still doesn't seem to interested, but his wife says, "Honey, you are the one who said you wanted to change the world. It's a pretty big job. If it were me, I would take all the help I could get."
After Joan falls asleep, Evan Baxter gets down on his knees to pray. "Hello there. Hi. This is Evan. Evan Baxter. I just wanted to say thank you for everything." He names some things. "I just wanted to say that I know that Joan is right. I know that I am now in a position of great power and with great power comes great responsibility. So...God, please help me change the world. That's it. I'm hanging up now."
So in the movie, God calls Evan to build an ark in the middle of the city. God sends Evan wood and tools and animals. Later, Evan's wife thinks he has flipped out and takes the boys and leaves him.
Later in a restaurant, God (portrayed by Morgan Freeman) shows up as a waiter. Joan askes him for a refill and God asks if she is alright. She tells him that she is the wife of New York Noah. Morgan Freeman, as God the waiter says, "I love that story, Noah and the ark." He tells Joan that he sees it as a love story about believing in each other. "You know, the animals showed up in pairs. They stood by each other, side by side, just like Noah and his family. Everybody entered the ark side by side."
Joan says, "But my husband says that God told him to build that ark. What do you do with that? God says, "Sounds like an opportunity. Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, do you think God gives him patience or does God give him the opportunity to be patient? If he prays for courage, does God give him courage or the opportunity to be courageous? If someone prays for family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings or does he give them opportunities to love each other?" In the end, Evan's family heads out to help him build the ark.
Is there a message here for us and our jungle of relationships? Is God giving you opportunities to develop the character traits needed to live peacefully and joyfully? Since we know the truth and we have the directions from God's word, the question is whether or not we have the strength to persevere.