This morning we’re in Romans 15. Before we talk about these verses, I want to give some background. I’ve been a faithful churchgoer my entire life, four decades! For half that time, my parents drug me to church. For the other half I’ve been a minister.
There’s a story about how… “One Sunday morning a mother went to wake her son for church. When she knocked on his door, he said, “I’m not going!”
“Why not?” asked his mother.
“I’ll give you two good reasons,” he said. “One, they don’t like me. Two, I don’t like them.”
His mother replied, “I’ll give you two good reasons why YOU WILL go to church. One, you’re 47 years old. Two, you’re the pastor!”
What is your church experience?
Throughout my four decades of church attendance, I’ve always had a window into the inner dynamics of a church. Positively… When you taste the power of the gospel, and the power of the Holy Spirit, it makes you want to leap out of bed every single morning. There isn’t anything more exhilarating then seeing God’s Holy Spirit get ahold of a person (or even better a group of people) and utterly transform their beliefs, their values, their attitudes, their habits and behaviors, they life purpose, their marriage/family, their relationships! Sign me up for lifelong service!
But we know this experience of the Holy Spirit’s power isn’t always the reality in the church. Sometimes churchgoers are the most stubborn, resistant, and narrow of all people. When I started preaching there were times I would think, “If Billy Graham stood in this pulpit… if Jesus Christ himself preached… or if he appeared in the clouds and the last trumpet sounded… I’m not sure people would be any more receptive!” Those are the dark moments, the “I don’t want to get out of bed” moments.
If you are like me, and have habitually attended church every week, you know what it means to struggle against cynicism. If you don’t guard your heart, you’d be tempted to write the church off altogether rather than weather the challenges. I know we don’t like to talk about this—but a lot of guys I went to Bible College with, who were on fire for the Kingdom, have nothing to do with churches anymore. They love Jesus but they just don’t know how to deal with the dark side of church life. But this is true for a majority of churchgoers too. Many have either given up on church, and stopped attending altogether. Or, they have begun flocking to churches where they can attend on their terms, without the headache, the heartache, the intense drama of truly learning to walk in love with God’s people.
Let me just say… if church isn’t hard for you, you’re probably not really part of the church. You’re probably not as deeply connected as you imagine. When you are truly part of a church, it demands you learn to do hard things. But hard things produce a kind of character, and depth and richness, and impact that otherwise wouldn’t exist!
You have to come to terms with what you are truly seeking from your church experience. Are you longing for something substantive or superficial? Something powerful and transformative, or something anemic and transactional? Let me frame it this way… do you think church was hard for first century Christians? Do you think it was hard for the Apostles? Do you think everyone in the Early Church was all goo-goo-gaga for one another, that discipleship was some easy walk in the park? If you think that, you’ve never seriously contemplated Scripture.
Bearing with One Another in Love
Take Romans 15 as an example. Paul says in Romans 15:1, “We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak.” If you see yourself as such an amazing, strong, vibrant Christian step up to the bar! Let’s test your moxy. If you are so strong, you wouldn’t be running from the tough stuff… you’d be rolling up your sleeves, and persevering in love, and enduring. If you are so strong you would be showing up, and bearing in love with those who are weak or failing! Romans 15 true church looks like!
Not Seeking to Please Yourself
You know Paul says something else in Romans 15:1. Not only should we bear with one another in love but also, “we’re not to please ourselves.” I cannot imagine a single, more difficult teaching for the church today than Romans 15:1! Our real motive today isn’t to see gospel transformation in people’s lives. Our real motivation is to please ourselves. “Well, I go to church XYZ because the message is more pleasing, the music is more pleasing, the programs are more pleasing, the people are more pleasing, it’s just easier, there is less drama!” OR…. “I just attend, I don’t want to be a member, I don’t want to get involved, I don’t want to get entangled in people’s problems, I don’t want to debate beliefs or study scripture, I don’t want expectations put on me.”
Sorry. Think what you want. But if everything about your church experience is easy breezy you probably aren’t really truly part of Christ’s church. Just about every leadership book written these days for pastors is about how to make you, the churchgoer’s experience, more pleasing. I don’t see the New Testament saying anything about making people’s church experience more pleasing. Instead, the very nature of what we’re trying to do here requires we forget all about ourselves, and do hard things!
There are three temptations facing churches, and you as a churchgoer.
First, there is a temptation to neglect true love.
In Romans 15:2-3 Paul says, “Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up. For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: “The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.”
I want you to realize how powerfully our idea of love has shifted not just out in culture, but also within the church. Notice what Paul begins to say in Romans 15:2. He says, “Each of should please our neighbors…” Now for most Christians even, the verse stops right there. The average churchgoer thinks, “If I truly love people, I should try to please them…” It’s become the goal of churches to want to please everyone.
We already know what this looks like on an organization level in the church. Church leaders obsess about keeping everyone in the church happy. We can become so consumed with asking what pleases people we lose site of what pleases Christ Jesus, the Lord of this Church. What kind of sermons topics, what kind of music, what kind of programming, what kind of thermostat setting, what decisions/positions make everyone the most happy.
But what does this same thing look like on a personal level? We’ve developed this mistaken notion that to love someone means to please them, to make them happy. This has become a philosophy of parenting. Not what is truly best for a child, but what makes them happy and keeps peace in the home. This has become a philosophy of discipleship. “Hey, if that’s you’re thing, if that’s what you believe, if that’s how you feel, if that’s what makes you happy, if that’s what pleases you… I’m not here to judge you.” Most churchgoers believe tolerance is love and love is tolerance. We think that the hallmark of love is to not offend, disagree with anyone. Nowadays we use love as an excuse to not to speak or act in a person’s truest interests.
But this isn’t true love. Here is what Paul actually says. Romans 15:2, “Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up.” The real measure of love is its affect, not it’s intention. A parents intention might be good, but the result of their passivity can be devastating. You might think you being a good Christian being so tolerant but the affect of your passivity (not truly speaking up or acting in a person’s best interests) can be devastating. True love speaks/acts for persons’ good. True love speak/acts for a person’s edification.
In the short-term, you might be misunderstood. But in the long-term, when people do finally understand… they love you, they thank you, and are quite pleased, that someone had the guts to stand up and speak up for their good before it was too late. You may have hated your parents doing hard things, but later in life you saw the value of it, and you were quite pleased. You may have hated that brother/ sister in Christ confronting you, but later on you saw how they truly loved you and were truly a friend precisely because they didn’t do what everyone else did… they spoke/act when everyone else tolerated, nodded along, and affirmed. They demonstrated courage, while everyone else flaked out.
It’s interesting in Romans 15:4 Paul says, “For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: “The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.” Jesus was continually insulted not because he was a bad guy… but precisely because he was doing what was ultimately good. If as a Christian, if as a parent, if as a human being you have this fear of being misunderstood, or taking risks, of offending, of being insulted I’d question whether you’ve ever learned to truly love. When you truly love its creates friction, tension, conflict, misunderstandings. But it also produces transformation!
Second, there is a temptation to neglect true faith.
Romans 15:5-6, “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
So here we go. News flash! Not everyone in the church has the same attitude you have. Not everyone in the church thinks like you think. Not everyone in the church parrots your favorite Bible verses, or beliefs, or values, or opinions, or preferences. People who are coming into the church—especially out of the world—are radically different than someone whose been part of the church their whole life. We smile when a churched family who thinks, speaks, walks, looks just like us shows up. But we cringe when that person far from God shows up who doesn’t pass our spiritual sniff test.
Here is how we often define true faith: True faith is when someone thinks, feels, and acts just like me. If you think, feel, and act like me we’re good. Paul makes profound point. First, he tells us to pray to God for strength. May God give us endurance/encouragement to navigate all the differences that exist among. Second, Paul tells us to pray the right attitude. May God give you the same attitude of mind toward one another that Christ Jesus had. Jesus wasn’t cynical, he was patient to stay in relationship with people who were vastly different than himself. Third, Paul tells us to pray for God to glorified. What matters here is that we become of one mind and one voice, that we magnify and glorify, that we focus upon who God is, and what God thinks, and what God feels, and what God desires. Who cares what you think, feel, desire. The conversation is, “what does God think, feel, or desire?” Truth isn’t our viewpoint. Truth is God’s viewpoint. Truth isn’t trusting what we say. Truth is trusting what God says. And for that we look to Christ, and the Word.
How do we get transformed? Not by thinking like the world, not by thinking like one another. No, we get renewed in the knowledge and image of our Creator Christ Jesus. Romans 12:2, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Let’s not neglect matters of faith and love.
Third, there is a temptation to neglect true mission.
Romans 15:7-13 says, “7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. 8 For I tell you that Christ has become a servant of the Jews on behalf of God’s truth, so that the promises made to the patriarchs might be confirmed 9 and, moreover, that the Gentiles might glorify God for his mercy.”
“As it is written: “Therefore I will praise you among the Gentiles; I will sing the praises of your name.” 10 Again, it says, “Rejoice, you Gentiles, with his people.” 11 And again, “Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles; let all the peoples extol him.” 12 And again, Isaiah says, “The Root of Jesse will spring up, one who will arise to rule over the nations; in him the Gentiles will hope.” 13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Without true love and true faith, there is no impact, no mission, no sense of the power of the Holy Spirit, no gospel fruit. The very reason we should care about faith and love is because there is so little joy/peace in the world, and there is so little hope. How can anything we would say as a church have any credibility if we’re not willing to love, if we’re not willing to set aside our own opinions and root our faith in Christ?