The Bible has a lot to say about love. For example, the Bible assumes we already love ourselves. “Self-love” is one of our default settings. So, in Ephesians 5:29 when Paul says, “no one ever hated his own body, rather they feed it and care for it” . . . he is talking about one of our most basic human instincts. Growing up, one of the ways dad rebuked me was to say, “There you go again… always looking out for number one.” Oh how I hated hearing those words! In our sinful nature, we are hard-wired for “self-love.” Nobody has to teach us how to feed and care for number one!
The Bible mostly assumes we love our family. Yes, there are exceptions. There are parents who hurt their own children. For that matter, there are individuals who hurt their own bodies. But it’s true, that family-love (like self-love) is one of our default settings. In Luke 11:11-12, Jesus asks, “What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion.” Isaiah 49:15 says, “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?”
The average parent moves heaven and earth, mortgages their home, max their credit cards, lay down their life. . . to give their children a better life.
Another default setting is we love those who love us back. I’m thinking specifically of Matthew 5:46-47 where Jesus says, “If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?” Only your own people! Who is that? Who are your own kind of people?
There’s nothing remarkable about a person who looks out for their own interests/needs, who pursues their selfish ambitions at the expense of others, or who is preoccupied all day long with posting selfies. There’s nothing remarkable about a person who loves his wife, or who loves her husband, or who would go to the moon and back for their boyfriend or girlfriend or fiancée. There’s nothing remarkable about a person who would lay down their life for their own flesh-and-blood (i.e. their child).
There’s nothing remarkable about birds-of-a-feather flocking together… white people hanging out with white people, black people hanging out with black people, Asians hanging out with Asians… There’s nothing remarkable about the wealthy hanging with the wealthy, the attractive with the attractive, the happy with the happy, the athletic with the athletic, the emotionally healthy with the emotionally healthy…
The other day I bought Lara a mug which says, “The more people I meet, the more I love my dog.” There’s nothing remarkable about being a dog-lover. It’s easier to love dogs than people. . . It’s easier to love people than cats. . . It’s easier to love cats than... [sorry, I’m just not coming up with anything there!]
Here is what is interesting about this list. Suppose you can’t feed or care for your own body. Suppose you are in danger of harming yourself, you don’t even love your own body. Suppose you won’t love your spouse, or God-forbid, you won’t love/nourish your own children! Suppose you’ve become a loner, and you don’t have any close or meaningful relationships, you just drift from one place to the next. Suppose you’re in such a dark place mentally, you’d harm a dog, or yes even a pour little ole’ puddy cat.
There is a certain threshold even the world wants us to maintain. If you’re love doesn’t rise to these basic thresholds… you REALLY need to be here today… and I’d say we all REALLY need to be the Church (the body of Christ) for you today!
Let me tell you what is extraordinary. The true Kingdom of God, the true body of Christ, the love of the true Church… that’s what’s extraordinary! Now why do I say the “true” church? It’s because so Christians are still functioning by their default settings… “I love myself, I’m all about my family, my friends, I love my dog.”
Jesus’ vision was this: “By this all men will know you are my disciples, if you love one another.” Friends, what if your love, our love, exceeded that of the worlds? What if our love could be higher, wider, deeper, and broader than what people could find anywhere else in all Springfield? You see now we are talking about the Kingdom of God. We are talking about the love that is in Christ Jesus.
For illustration purposes, let’s put these different type of loves in linear order. Let’s say Level 1, is Self-Love. If you can’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of anyone else right? Let’s say Level 2, is Animal/Plant Love. If you can’t keep a goldfish or a houseplant alive. . . welcome to the club. Let’s say Level 3 is Friend-Love and Level 4 is Family-Love. If you can’t maintain healthy relationships, you might not be ready to get married and raise a family. You get the point! But now we’re talking about Level 5, which is Kingdom-Love.
In Romans 12:9-16, Paul describes Kingdom-Love. He says, “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.”
This is such an extraordinary list, how could we possible do it justice? Let me put it this way. People aren’t rejecting Christ, and the Kingdom of God, because our love is true and sincere. People will/do reject love when its merely a caricature of God’s love.
Are we as a church sincere about loving one another? When you love someone you aren’t ambivalent. You hate the sin, the evil, literally anything that threatens them. And you desire, and eagerly embrace, the very best for others. You’re devoted to the very best of one another. You are happy to take a back seat, and let others stand on your shoulders, and ascend higher than you. And by others, I’m not just talking about your own family and friends, “your kind of people.” We’re talking about loving everyone within the body including the obnoxious ones… Cat lovers, Packer fans, Cardinal fans.
Are we sincere about loving one another? Good humor has a grain of truth. The reason that mug is funny is because it’s true. People can wear you out. Even people you love can wear you out! I cannot think of a more profound love than what a mom has for a child. Moms, do your children not wear you out? But what does love do? It keeps on keeping on. It endures. It perseveres. It remains. Paul says true love maintains its spiritual fervor, its zeal, it doesn’t grow weary in doing good.
Romans 12:12 says, “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” If you are struggling to love someone, tape those words on your mirror! Part of love is emotional survival… its never letting a person rob you of joy and hope. Part of love is determination… being patient through the good and bad. Part or love is strategy… be faithful in prayer. When the going gets tough, the tough get on their knees and pray.
Is your love growing or shrinking? When is the last time you shared with a person in need (outside your circle of family/friends)? When is the last time you invited someone who wasn’t “your people” into your home for a meal? When is the last time you blessed a person who was being nasty about you? Are you more apt to rejoice with others, or feel jealous about their good fortune? Are you more apt to embrace a person who is mourning, or steer clear, because it makes you uncomfortable? Are you more apt to overlook an offense, and live in harmony… or make a big stink about something?
Universally, people agree, that there probably isn’t anything that destroys relationships, societies, groups, churches more quickly than Romans 12:16, “Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.” I can only ask you to reflect on these verses, and whether your love is growing or shrinking. But let me confess something… Jon Morrissette has a LOT of work to do at level 5. I feel my love growing, but not nearly fast enough!
Now right now, we could stop at Level 5. The world would be radically transformed if in every community, people could find an oasis of love, through a local church. If you are a young person, the highest call God could place on your life is for you to lead a church, to build up his body in love! It isn’t easy. You can lose your spiritual fervor, because even in the Kingdom of God, love is very hard, and people don’t move beyond their defaults easily. Sometimes religious people are worse than worldly people!
But notice in Romans 12, there is a Level 6 kind of love. Let’s call this Missional-Love. Friends, we live in a very evil world. There are people who will not only kill their own body but bomb a crowd of teenage girls. There are people who in the name of their country, their religion, their ideology… do unspeakable violence. It’s no longer purely academic to ask, “What does love look like? How might love act?”
What’s easier about Kingdom-love, is although someone might be difficult, they agree to walk with you in life. What’s difficult about Missional-love, is that people seem impossible, even demonic, and at times “beyond redeemable.”
But let’s temper our conversation a moment… and lets just agree that only the most perfect kind of love might/could possible touch a terrorist. Let’s put this in a more practical zone. What does it look like to love an evil person? You know, that person who hates you. Who has harmed you in some way. That person whose face disgusts you, because they’ve wronged you, cheated on you, or represent everything you consider vile about a human being? What does it look like to love that spouse who has ruined their life, and your life, and your family? What does it look like to love that child who though an adult, is still so dependent, selfish, destructive, ruinous, or wicked? If you thought long enough, I’m sure there is someone whose face churns your hatred.
Romans 12:17-21. “17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
You know you have a Level 6 situation, when you’re so spitting mad/hurt, even as a Christian person, you refuse to believe God could still have a plan for a person after all the evil they have done. Romans 12 is the best practical advice you will find in all of Scripture on how to maximize the redemptive potential of your enemies.
Basically… you do what is right no matter what. You live at peace and absolutely refuse to escalate the cycle of violence/hurt. You get on your knees in prayer, and remind yourself, that sin stirs the wrath of God far beyond anything you’re capable of even imagining. You get in your Scriptures and you take notice that the fullness of God’s wrath and the fullness of God’s righteousness is always perfectly executed against sin. God offers salvation and deliverance, and he carries out his judgement and brings justice perfectly, in every evil circumstance, but he does it in his time.
“Yea, but what should I do,” you ask? It’s all right in Romans 12:20-21: “If your enemy is hungry, you feed him. If he is thirsty, you give him water.” Here is what you do… you refuse to be overcome by evil, but instead overcome evil with good. You stop trying to be God, meting out justice, and you let God be God.
And so we come full circle back to Jesus words in Matthew 5:43-48. “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
If you really want to know the key to Level 1-2-3-4-5-6 love, it’s all right there in Matthew 5 and Romans 12. In Matthew 5:45, Jesus speaks of becoming “children of your Father in heaven, who causes his sun to rise on evil and good, and sends his rain on the righteous and unrighteous.” In Matthew 5:48 Jesus says, “be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
If you think Level 6 love is impossible (or even reckless) consider Level 7. Level 7 is Perfect-Love, it’s Agape-Love, it’s Divine-Love, it’s the Father’s love. And if you really want to know the secret to developing all the other levels of love—it is this: in worship, wrap your mind around level 7 love! Everything Paul commands of us in Romans 12, hangs on the first verse of the chapter Romans 12:1 “In view of God’s mercy offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God…” In view of God’s mercy love…
You cannot possibly love anyone or anything else (not even yourself), until you first begin to grasp God’s love, expressed in his kindness to us, in Christ Jesus. You wouldn’t harm yourself, if you understood God’s love for you. You would tenderly care for every living thing, if you understood how creation is an expression of God’s kindness to us. You would freely love your family, and friends, and everyone in this church if you understood the love of God in Christ. You would dare even to love your enemies, you would love your haters, if you truly grasped the love of God in Christ.
Why do you think Paul would spent 12 chapters announcing the love of God in Christ before he would even dare suggest we consider loving one-another or even our enemies? In fact you should know… in every letter Paul writes in the New Testament, he always tells us about the love of Christ before he invites us to love like Christ.
Consider how Paul prays in Ephesians 3:14-21… If there is going to be an extraordinary, immeasurable, beyond-imagination, other-worldly, God-glorifying kind of love to emerge in our lives… it’s only going to come after we first grasp God’s kind of love expressed through Christ Jesus.