Romans 16:1-16 is amazing. Paul writes, “I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a deacon of the church in Cenchreae. 2 I ask you to receive her in the Lord in a way worthy of his people and to give her any help she may need from you, for she has been the benefactor of many people, including me.”
Most scholars believe Phoebe was from Corinth, she was well known, probably a business woman, personally wealthy, comfortable traveling port to port, completely trustworthy, a deaconess in the church. Paul tasked her with delivering this letter to the church at Rome—arguable the most significant letters in all the New Testament.
“3 Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my co-workers in Christ Jesus. 4 They risked their lives for me. Not only I, but all the churches of the Gentiles are grateful to them. 5 Greet also the church that meets at their house. Greet my dear friend Epenetus, who was the first convert to Christ in the province of Asia. 6 Greet Mary, who worked very hard for you. 7 Greet Andronicus and Junia, my fellow Jews who have been in prison with me. They are outstanding among the apostles, and they were in Christ before I was…
I won’t mutually torture us by trying to pronounce all these names!
It's All About Relationships
But over the span of sixteen verses, Paul greets dozens of people by name, and countless others associated by household, or by home-church. If you ever thought of the Apostle Paul as the lone-ranger, you would be wrong. He was incredibly relational. Even Dale Carnegie could have taken a few lessons from Paul on how to “win friends and influence people.” At the end of the chapter there are even more names!
Paul refers to people as co-workers, risk-takers, first-converts, co-laborers in the gospel, co-workers, hard-workers, fellow-prisoners, outstanding, dear friends, brothers, sisters, mothers. The phrase “dear friends” is often translated “beloved.” Paul had a deep personal bond with these folks, they were closer than family.
And notice the central focus in all these relationships is Jesus Christ. They are each “in the Lord,” “in Christ,” “in Christ Jesus.” Nothing cements a relationship like a common faith in Christ Jesus.
You might also notice that many of the people on the list are women. John Piper points out, “From the very beginning of the Christian church, women have been absolutely crucial partners in ministry with men—partners in marriage and partners as single women… are not on the sidelines. In the history of missions, the role of women, and the courage of women, is simply breathtaking.” This was true just as much in the ministry of Jesus as the ministry of Paul. Even though men and women may be called to serve in different roles in ministry, they are no less significant/ vital/ impactful.
Alright, so what do we do with these verses? This morning I want to make a case for making lists. Most of us maintain three basic kinds of lists of people. And we have to be really careful what we do with our lists.
Develop a Hero List
One type of list we maintain is a hero list. These are the people who have inspired us, shaped us, elevated us, partnered with us, blessed us. Just as Paul had a list, you have a list, and I have a list.
My list includes my parents, Dan & Rosemary Morrissette. Their zeal for the Lord, their love for Christ’s church… their faith, hope, and love… inspires me. My list includes three brothers, Brooks Hurley, Lance Hurley, and Scott Hurley. They’re all preacher’s kids. Brooks was my minister when I was a kid. Lance was my minister through JH/HS. Scott was a mentor to me in ministry through my BA/Masters degrees! Their love for God and love for people is contagious.
My list includes an elderly couple named Ed and Flo, who have since gone to be with the Lord. Ed was the first to see something in I would have never seen in myself. When I was a teenager he put his arm around me and told me I’d be a preacher someday. My list includes Donn and Sue Schroeder. They were a young couple who loved God. They loved me and welcomed me into their lives, and boy could I drive them crazy at times. Donn loved God’s word so much, he set off for Bible College to learn Greek and study the NT. I followed along, right on his heels! My list includes Don & Margaret Green. Why they let me marry their daughter I’ll never know. But they have been like a father/mother to me in every way.
My list is hundreds upon hundreds of people long. We don’t have time! If you attend Lakeside you are on my hero list. This church isn’t anything without you! My list might not mean much to you, just like Paul’s list might not mean much to you. But here is the deal… People are not a fixed part of your life. Relationships are very fluid. People come into our life and out of our life. People walk with us for a season, but sometimes they move on, sometimes they go to be with the Lord.
I have no doubt that you agree with me… that relationships are one of the most precious gifts God gives us. Spiritual relationships are even more precious, because you get to hold on to them for eternity! Like the apostle Paul we need to value people while they are with us, walking alongside us. People can come and go so quickly. Better to encourage, to love, to thank people right now while you have the opportunity.
**In the lobby we have created an ENCOURAGEMENT WALL. There are post-it-notes! We want you to write the name of someone at Lakeside and like the apostle Paul, write a sentence about their faith, their love, their labor in the Lord. We’re going to feature some of these on social media! Who has blessed you? Who has shaped you, inspired you, bettered you? Who is God using powerfully? Who has loved you, encouraged you, helped you, showed up in your life?
Maintain a Knucklehead List
Another kind of list we maintain is a knucklehead list. Knuckleheads are people God uses to each us humility and grace. A knucklehead is someone who loves the Lord, but who because of their self-centeredness, their selfish ambition, their unresolved personal needs, their lack of self-awareness… test your love and patience. Some of Jesus’ own disciples were knuckleheads. Jesus at times would marvel over how they could be so dull! Paul doesn’t name names, but throughout the last few chapters, he clearly alludes to some of the knuckleheads in Rome who just weren’t getting it! Knuckleheads have very little regard for others. They are like the anti-hero list. Maybe they’re heroes in the making—God isn’t finished with them yet! They aren’t on your hero list, but if you’ll love them, and let God’s grace flow through your life, guess what! You will be on their hero list!
Maintain a Danger List
Another kind of list we maintain is a danger list. There are people who are divisive, who maliciously damage relationships, and set out to destroy God’s work. I don’t hesitate at all to warn people about those who are on my danger list. Sometimes a person can move from list to list. At first they seem like they are hero, but then their true self emerges, and like a cancer… their character, their attitude, their behavior metastasizes throughout the body of Christ.
How Should We Love?
Here is Paul’s practice. (1) Celebrate your heroes. (2) Love and pray for your knuckleheads knowing that God is simultaneously teaching you humility/grace while also doing a great work in their life by his Holy Spirit. And (3) I’d say release your danger list to God. Take the necessary precautions to protect yourself and others from danger… but turn your adversaries over to Christ. Let God contend with them.
In your Bible, there are some great lists. Google is amazing. Anytime you see a name in the Bible, google it! I used to be bored by lists. But when you start digging into them, you get blessed realizing who God is using, and how he using people, and why every person matters to God’s plan. And studying Biblical lists isn’t done in vain—because when I read lists like Paul’s it teaches me to have greater confidence in God, to be more thankful and aware of people God’s place in my life, who are walking alongside me as brothers/sisters/mothers/fathers in faith, as co-laborers and co-workers.
For Reflection
Let me end with a few questions and a statement. Some questions: Whose list are you on? And which list are you on? Are you a hero, a knucklehead, or a villain? Who do you add value to? Who do you impact? Who do you inspire and why? How might people summarize your life in a phrase or sentence? William Barclay said, “It is a great thing to go down to history as the man with the open house or as the man with the brotherly heart. Some day people will sum us up in one sentence. What will that sentence be?”
A statement: None of our lists ultimately matter, so near as much as God’s list. What matters is whether we’re being commended by God himself. What matters are Christ’s words at the end of the age, “well done, good and faithful servant.” God’s grace, and his list, is infinitely longer than any of ours. Praise God. Perhaps we should pray God will calibrate our lists so we see what he sees!
In his book, The Road to Character, David Brooks contrasts resume virtues with eulogy virtues. The resume virtues are the ones you list on your resume, the skills that you bring to the job market and that contribute to external success. The eulogy virtues are deeper. They’re the virtues that get talked about at your funeral, the ones that exist at the core of your being—whether you are kind, brave, honest or faithful; what kind of relationships you formed.
Phoebe probably had a great business resume… but look at these individuals and the virtues they’re eternally remembered by! May we all aspire to heroic status in God’s eyes, and in the eyes of our greater faith community.